I sort of evaded the question,I admitted.And then he asked if I’m fucking Colin because, I guess he believed that I'm not sleeping with you, Daniel.
Oh shit.Their identical messages came in at the same time.
The one thing all three of us agreed on was we weren't ready for Chase to know what we were doing. Until he and I were on more solid ground, we felt it was for the best that certain parts of our lives remain private.
Exactly. But I don't want to keep lying to everybody, either.
So, tell them about you and Daniel, Colin suggested.That'll be enough for now.
But I don't want to make you feel like you're not important, too.
I kept waiting for Daniel to respond, but he was annoyingly silent.
We all knew this was going to be hard,Colin responded a few minutes later.When the time is right, we can tell them about us. I promise I'm not upset.
He might not be, but I sure as shit was. None of this would have happened without Daniel and Colin. The three of us were a team. As if he'd read my thoughts, Daniel finally chimed in.For now, think of Colin like silent business partner. He's no less important, but there are reasons to keep his identity a secret.
But not forever, right?
No, sweetheart. Not forever. GTG things are getting crazy around here. Be home soon as I can.
I don't know what the hell possessed me to do it, but I responded to Colin’s message with a series of X's and O's. When Daniel didn't say anything else, I assumed he was headed to his study group and decided it was past time for me to hit the books, too. I'd never be the smartest one of our trio but flunking out with one semester to go was no longer an option.
12
Zach
I was foolingmyself if I thought I was going to get the damn thing done with the prospect of coming out, to four guys I’d basically been lying to forever, hanging over my head. I kept reading the same assignment, hoping eventually it would make sense. By the fourth or fifth read-through, the words began swimming around the screen, and I slammed the lid of my laptop closed.
Fuck this. I knew I wasn't doing myself any favors, but it was past time to lay all my shit out. I stomped out of my room and knocked on Jayden and Chase's door. Jayden poked his head out, carefully blocking me from entering.
“Hey man, what's up?”
“Would you mind coming out to the living area?” I requested. “I need to talk to you guys for a second.”
Jayden's face paled. Shit. Apparently, me wanting to talk set everyone on edge. “It's nothing bad, I swear.”
“What's going on?” Chase asked from inside the room.
“Zach says he needs to talk to everybody.”
“Oh fuck.” That might have been one of the first times I'd heard him cuss.
He quickly apologized and I couldn't help but laugh. “No sweat, man. I'm learning that me not being a grumpy troll has that effect on people.”
Jayden simply shrugged. “Give us a few minutes and we’ll be out.” He began to shut the door, pausing and turning back to me. “You're sure everything's okay?”
“Yeah. At least, I hope it will be,” I hedged. I was still scared these two were going to lay into me once they knew the truth. And there would be nothing I could do but sit there and take it because I brought it on myself.
If only it was as easy as the spanking Colin had given me that first day. He said everything would be forgiven after that but, until I saw this through, I knew I would carry around the guilt with me.
Great. And now I was standing in front of Colin’s brother's bedroom door, sporting wood, thinking about how cathartic that spanking had been, and wondering if he'd give me another tonight if I asked nicely. And I would. I would drop to my knees and beg, if it helped me get out of my head the way it had the first time.
I made a beeline for the refrigerator, grabbing myself another beer. I needed to slow down after this. Alcohol tended to make me stupid, and neither of the men who could save me from myself were here.
“You want one?” I called out to Matt and Brandon through the serving window between the kitchen and dining area.
Matt turned to Brandon, who shook his head. “No, thank you.”
