“Who are we imagining all naked and sweaty together?” Matt asked as he appeared from the other end of the suite.
“Colin and Justice,” Brandon told him as I let out a frustrated groan and stormed away.
“Oh, come on, Zach. I know it's tough being the token straight guy around here, but I promise you, none of us are going to sneak into your room at night and pop your butt cherry,” Matt scoffed.
Brandon choked on his water. “Is there any filter, at all, between your brain and your mouth?”
Matt pretended to think for a second. “No. I think I had one once upon a time, but it broke. Never heard you complain about that lack of filter when I'm begging you to fuck me harder.”
“And on that note, I'm out.” I popped the top off, what was likely to be, the first of many beers for the night as I edged my way past the two lovebirds.
Brandon leaned close and said something to Matt. His eyes widened as he looked at me.
“Hey, I’m sorry if I was a dick to you,” he apologized.
“No worries.” I waved him off. “We’ve lived together long enough I’m used to you saying the first thing that pops in your head.”
“Yeah, but that was really rude of me.” He kept looking to Brandon, which was weird, but whatever. Not much shocked me around here anymore.
“Like I said, I'm used to it.” I wanted to go hide out in my room for a bit and work up the courage to talk to everyone tonight. “Let me know when dinner is ready,” I said to Brandon. Then, I turned to Matt. “Seriously, no harm, no foul.”
I even surprised the hell out of him by pulling him in for a quick hug. See, I could do this whole getting in touch with my more civilized side thing. As I disappeared around the corner, I heard Matt's stunned reaction. “Dude, did you see that? Zach just hugged me. I wonder if he's terminally ill.”
“You are such an ass,” Brandon scolded him. “Now, set the table before you earn yourself a punishment.”
“Maybe I want to be punished, Daddy.” I stumbled over my feet, barreling into my bedroom door. Nope, there were definitely some things I didn't need to hear.
Ever since the night the three of us had gotten together, my room felt lonely when Daniel wasn't around. It never felt more so than when I walked into the room, anxious to tell him about my talk with Brandon, only to find a note sitting on the desk. I picked it up, quickly scanning over the words.
I might be late tonight. Have a study group after class. Why don’t you see if Colin wants to keep you company until I get there?
I groaned, crumpling the note and tossing it toward the wastebasket. Of course, tonight wasn't going to go as planned. Yes, I wanted to talk to everyone while Daniel was busy, but now I wanted him beside me.
I reminded myself that it would be easier to tell the guys if I wasn't trying to hide how I felt about Daniel from them as I spoke. But that meant not having his arms to fall into when it was over, and I needed some reassurance.
I no longer cared if it made me seem needy or weak. I couldn't wait to tell someone about my day. But who? Daniel was in class then had his study group after, and Colin had picked up a long shift because it was his light class day. He’d be home by nine, and if Daniel wanted me to see if I could hang out with Colin, that meant he’d be even later.
I pulled out my laptop and got to work on a few assignments that were due later in the week, trying to keep my mind off how badly I missed them. That couldn't be normal. I dated in the past and knew what it felt like to have someone constantly texting me, interrupting whatever I was doing. I didn't want to turn into that guy.
Within the hour, I lost the battle with myself. I picked up the phone, insisting that I wouldn't be upset if no one responded. I opened up the group chat message Colin had suggested we keep going for when everyone needed to communicate with one another. He was really big on that shit. Which was probably another sign that this thing between us had an expiration date. Communication and I had never been friends. Talking was highly overrated.
So, I might have told Brandon I'm gay.
I flipped the phone over in my hands, waiting for one of them to acknowledge me. So much for swearing I didn't need a response. It was Daniel's message that came through first.Proud of you, babe. I know that wasn't easy. You could've waited until we were home.
No. This is something I need to do on my own. I appreciate you wanting to take care of me, but I'm a big boy.
Yeah, you are.Colin’s response was punctuated with a series of lewd emojis. A minute later, another reply followed.Seriously though, I'm proud of you, too. What do you plan to do next?
Leave it to Colin to feel the need to strategize.
Talking to the rest of the guys tonight,I responded. I preened a bit because I knew me actually having a plan would knock him on his ass.
You don't have to jump out of the closet all at once,Daniel reminded me.
Actually, I kind of do,I responded. I was sick of pretending. I knew what I needed to ask them next, but this felt just as hard as admitting my truth to Brandon. I didn't want either of them taking what I needed to say the wrong way.Brandon asked if Daniel and I are together now.
What did you tell him?Colin responded immediately.
