And just like that, I knew I wasn’t any better at lying than Matt was. She knew. Something we’d said or done had tipped her off.
“No, not at all,” I insisted. Mom was a great person, but we’d never had a close relationship. She’d only known about a couple of the guys I had dated in the past, so it wasn’t unusual that I wouldn’t run to her after Matt admitted why he was struggling and we’d wound up making out for what felt like hours.
“Then there's no reason for you to hide things from me, right?” She picked up a dry towel and started rubbing water spots out of the glassware she’d set out for tomorrow’s meal.
“I’m not hiding anything, Mom,” I lied. Another open door, another bullshit denial. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing it at this point, other than not wanting to ruin Christmas for the entire family if she thought we were making a mistake.
“You must really think I'm stupid then,” she scoffed. Her eyebrows pinched together, and her chin quivered. I steeled myself, thinking she was about ready to cry. She paused, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips again as she waited to see if I’d give her the information she wanted.
It would be so easy. I’d just told Matt an hour ago that I was thinking about telling her we were dating—or something like that—and now that she was giving me an opening, I couldn’t do it.
“How long have the two of you been together?” She didn’t ask if we were together, only how long we’d been dating. I’d lied so many times in the span of a few minutes, I doubted she’d believe me if I was honest and told her this was a recent development.
“We’re not—” I couldn't even finish that sentence. I had just told my mom I wasn't lying to her, then I opened my mouth and the very next words were bullshit I couldn't even deal with. I didn't want to do that to her, and I sure as hell didn't want to dismiss something that might be brand-new but was also the best thing I’d ever had in my life.
The past week with Matt had been indescribable. It was new and terrifying but also so natural and right, I couldn't believe it'd taken us this long to admit how we felt about one another. I’d always loved him in my own way, but it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest when he worked up the courage to tell me he wanted more.
I didn’t have to hold back now. He had no clue how many times I’d wanted to hug him just a few seconds longer or grab his chin so I could taste him instead of giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. But now, I could hold him forever if I felt like it, and I knew that his kisses always tasted like the sickeningly sweet bubble gum he was addicted to. It was a flavor I couldn’t stand unless it was one layer in the flavor that was him.
Mom pursed her lips. “That's what I thought. So, I'll ask you again, why wouldn't you tell me about this?”
The defensive part of me wanted to tell her it was none of her business, but it sort of was. This was her house, and if I had my way, there would be times when Matt spent the night here. Maybe that was part of why Ihadn’ttold her; I didn’t want her saying he couldn’t stay with me now that we were together. But I wasn’t going to tell her that because I didn’t need to go putting ideas into her head.
“It’s not like I’ve been lying to you for months or anything,” I explained. She frowned when I hopped onto the counter. “I don’t know that we’re even officially together. It’s more like we’re testing the waters to see if there’s something more there. And I wasn’t ready to tell everyone about it because it’s hard enough without everyone else giving their two cents about everything.”
“Okay.” She smiled and gave me a quick nod. “I can respect that, even if I wish you would have told me. It’s obvious to everyone, even your dad, but no one wanted to be the one to bring it up in case we were wrong.”
“And you don’t have a problem with it?” Now that the cat was out of the bag, I felt like I needed her seal of approval.
In a move totally out of character for her, Mom jumped onto the counter next to me. “Sweetie, the two of you have been connected at the hip since you were kids. Honestly, I think all of us have been waiting for the two of you to figure it out. You’re good for each other. You keep Matt grounded and he makes you have a little bit of fun. You need that in your life.”
“Dad’s going to say he’s a distraction.”
Mom hummed quietly then shook her head. “I know your dad is hard on you sometimes, but that’s only because he wants you to have an easier time than we did when we were starting out. And he was so busy trying to make a name for himself that I think he feels like he missed out on seeing you kids grow up. But don’t you worry about him. You need to liveyour life, Brandon.”
I was pretty sure she wasn’t only talking about my choice of romantic partner. Over the past couple of days, she’d spent more time watching me dance around the kitchen to get everything prepped for tomorrow. She’d stop me and ask questions, and only once did she try correcting me. She’d supported me in that decision, which made me feel like a sack of shit for not trusting her with this one.
This was going so much better than I had anticipated. Matty was right; there was nothing to worry about when it came to most of my family. “Does that mean you’d be okay with me heading home with Matt and his mom? They’re always here for our traditions, and Matt said they always open stockings on Christmas morning so he can’t stay here. I’d like to share Christmas morning with them for a change.”
“If you weren’t a grown man with a good head on your shoulders, I’d say no. But I suppose, it’s time for me to let you live your life.” Mom sighed. I knew it was hard on her whenever she realized her kids weren’t going to be kids forever. “Justin and Elizabeth both spend time with their in-laws, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before I had to start sharing you, too.”
I let the comment about in-laws slide. It sent a strange jolt through my body to think that Kim could someday be my mother-in-law. She’d always been like a second mom to me, but if we could keep our relationship from imploding, somewhere way down the road, it could be official. I’d always said I wasn’t the type to settle down and get married, and yet here I was less than a week afterthe talkthinking about that shit as a real possibility.
I hugged Mom tightly and kissed her cheek. “Thanks! We’ll come back after breakfast so we can help you get ready for lunch.”
“I know better than to let that boy anywhere near my kitchen.” She shook a finger in Matt’s general direction. “We’ll have him take the kids to the basement. If he’s playing with them, we won’t have to worry about the fire department getting called out.”
It wasone timebut Mom would probably never let Matt forget about thevery smallkitchen fire he’d started the summer before our sophomore year of high school. There wasn’t even any real damage to speak of, but he’d flipped his shit when the pan caught on fire. And bonus: Matty would have no problem being told to go play and watch cartoons all morning.
“Love you, Mom.” I jumped down, helped her off the counter, and gave her another hug. Now that I had her blessing to skip out, I wanted to get Matt home so I could give him the gift I wanted to give him that wasn’t fit for familial eyes. It was cheesy and I was nervous, but I hoped he understood that the symbolism was more important than the actual items.
* * *
Kim didn’t seemany more surprised than my mom had been when we told her we were dating. Both of us stopped short of using the B word, but as far as I was concerned, Matt was my boyfriend and I was his. We said we were going to give this a real shot and I didn’t want to do casual. Not with him.
We’d barely made it into the house before she hugged both of us and excused herself. Matt wasted no time dragging me to the basement. How we made it down the stairs without falling and breaking our necks, I would never know. As soon as we reached the basement floor, I captured Matt by his waist. He draped his arms over my neck. “Slow down. It’s not like I’m going to freak and run out the door screaming. This was my idea, remember?”
“I know, but I still can’t believe you’re actually here,” he mused. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. “Fuck, you’re so sweet all the damn time. You do realize, at some point, I’m going to piss you off, right?”
