“Yep.” This time, I kissed the tip of his nose. I wanted to do a hell of a lot more, but I knew all bets would be off as soon as my lips touched his. It was hard enough to restrain myself when he ground his erection against mine. I let my hands drift to his hips, digging in just enough to still him. “But you don’t have to worry about that because I already have a list of all the annoying shit you do. And yet, here I am because nothing on that list is a deal breaker for me.”
“Fuck, you can’t keep saying shit like that or I’m going to embarrass myself.” Matt pressed his face against the crook of my neck. “I keep waiting to wake up and find out this is all some amazing dream that’s going to torment me the rest of the school year when I realize we’re not really doing this.”
“Oh, we’re totally doing this,” I promised him. And by this, I meant every damned thing his freaky mind could imagine, hopefully starting in the next couple of minutes. As much as it pained me, I slipped my hand into Matt’s and led him to the couch. I pointed to the cushion at one end. “Sit. Before we go too far, we’re going to talk.”
“Yes, Daddy. Ugh, you’re so damn bossy.” His words were a complaint, but the cocky upturned corner of his mouth said otherwise. “Daddy” was his go-to whenever I tried urging Matt to do what was best for him. And yeah, a few times when he’d said it, I’d thought about what it would be like to put him over my knee and spank him until he apologized and promised to do better. It wasn’t weird to me because it was us. I loved taking care of him just about as much as he needed me to be in control.
But how far was he willing to go with that? Was it just fun and games to him or had he been giving me clues into something he wanted for the past couple of years and I’d been too wrapped up in my own shit to take a hint?
I carefully lowered myself on the other end of the couch. I needed to keep some space in between us, otherwise I’d shove the first part of Matt’s Christmas gift into his chest and demand he open it so I could finally give both of us what I knew we wanted but had been holding back.
“There's something I feel like I should tell you before we get in any deeper than we already are,” I warned Matt. He stiffened and it was harder than I thought it would be to not scoop him in my arms so he could settle onto my lap. I hated the uncertainty in his eyes. “It's nothing bad, I swear.”
“Well when you start off like that, can you really blame a guy for assuming the worst?”
“No, I suppose you're right. But maybe it's more a matter of one of us needing to say what I think is on both of our minds.” There were some things that weren’t easy to bring up to the guy who’d been your everything for longer than you were willing to admit. Certain personality quirks and cravings weren’t meant for platonic company. But now, both of us needed to be honest if we had any chance of being happy together. “We like to think we know everything about each other, but there are pieces we’ve been careful to keep the other from finding out. And that’s a fucking shame. I’ve spent so much time thinking since you kissed me, and I can’t help but feel like we’ve done ourselves wrong.”
Matt curled his legs onto the couch cushion, hugging his knees the way he did when we were younger and thunderstorms moved through. He was scared shitless, no matter how cool he was trying to play it.
Fuck it. I leaned forward and took both of Matt's hands in mine, tugging him forward until he was close enough I could hug him. Matt’s head fell against my shoulder and he sighed as I started rubbing his back. The tension in his shoulders melted away until he became dead weight on top of me.
“When you call me Daddy, do you have any idea what it does to me?” Matt sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and shook his head. I felt my body react as I remembered all the times I'd had to get away from Matt as quickly as possible because I worried I would ruin our friendship if he saw how turned on I got from his innocent little quips.
We'd wasted so much time not being honest with one another. Who knows how many years we could've been together already if just one of us had worked up some courage sooner? I slid my hand down to rest on Matt's hip. “You make me feel like I'm ten feet tall sometimes,” I admitted to him. “I like knowing that I can settle you when you're anxious and that I can ground you when you're on the verge of out of control. But I want even more.”
“More?” Matt arched his back so he could look up at me. I wondered if he could feel my rapid heartbeat under his palm against my chest.
“More,” I repeated, sliding my fingers through his hair.
“I want more, too.” His voice was so quiet I could barely hear him. Matt had always been the type of guy to hold his cards close to his chest. He constantly worried about being greedy when it came to his relationships. Time was something he’d learned at a very early age to never ask for more of. As I continued massaging his scalp, pieces of the puzzle that was Matt began to turn and fall into place. Things I’d taken for granted.
Fuck. How in the hell was I supposed to make him trust in me to the level I craved if I missed such integral facets of who he was?
“Do you really?” I couldn’t make myself believe he knew what he was asking for. And if he did, Ineededhis confirmation. “Do you have any clue how much I'll take if you let me? I need you to understand, I’m not talking about saying we’re exclusive or anything like that. We are, as far as I’m concerned, but do you get what I’m trying to say?”
Matt's hand slid down my stomach until it rested over my uncomfortable erection. “Oh, I’m pretty sure I do.”
“Matthew,” I hissed in warning. This wasn’t supposed to be about sex. Yes, that was part of it, but it was more like dessert to me. I could be demanding as hell in the bedroom, but if we were doing this, eventually I hoped to be the person he turned to for everything. I’d always struggled with how I could want to have such power over another person while knowinghewas the one with the ultimate control. The idea of Matty surrendering to me that way…just thinking about it had me ready to shoot before we even got started.
“I think I know what you want, and I want it, too,” he admitted breathlessly. “This isn’t about sex for me, Brandon. Until tonight, I thought I was the one who wanted more than he could have. I’m not playing around when I call you Daddy. And maybe it was teasing at first, but it hasn’t been for a long time. I died a little every time the word slipped past my lips because you’d never know how much you mean to me.”
“But I do,” I promised him. I slid a hand to the back of his neck, squeezing gently. “You’re mine, now. Got that? It’s not just sex and I’m not going to let you hide from me anymore.”
“Oh God,” he whimpered, and he rutted against me. All it took was tightening my fingers against his neck and he stilled.
“Tell me, Matty. What do you want?” I urged him, desperate to hear how that word sounded when he was drunk with lust.
“You,” he panted.
“And who am I?” I wanted to hear him say it. This time, we’d both knew he meant it when he called me Daddy.
He looked up at me, brows furrowed. When he realized what I was digging for, the corners of his mouth lifted in a shy grin. “You’re Daddy.MyDaddy.”
“That’s right,” I agreed. “And who’s in charge?”
“You are.” He ground his erection against mine. His movements were slow, like he wasn’t trying to get off as much as testing the waters.
I slipped my other hand into the back of his jeans, the tip of my middle finger dipping into his crack. He bit his lip to keep from crying out again. That wasn’t going to work for me. “Don’t hide, Matt. Let me hear how good I make you feel.”
