“I’m twenty-five,” I told him. The numbers that had never mattered suddenly felt important. “So you don’t have to worry about the half your age thing. I’m still in school because I took some time off to…”
I waved a hand down my body. Talking about my transition was something I didn’t enjoy. I’d purposely taken what most assumed was a typical gap year between high school and college so I could start hormone therapy and heal from top surgery. My parents were seriously the coolest, and they’d given me a check to cover the out-of-pocket costs so I could transition to adulthood in every way.
“You don’t need to explain,” Theron reassured me before kissing the tip of my nose. “With any luck, there will be plenty of time for me to learn everything there is to know about you. Now, let’s get some food in you so you can focus on studying while I finish going over some reports.”
“That sounds…” Saying it sounded perfectly domestic was strange, but that was my first thought. It scared the crap out of me that this man had some sort of magical powers to make me forget all the reasons I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. And imagining a future where we could eat and work together was foolish, at best, when neither of us could possibly know if therewasa future at all.
Theron tucked me against his side and led me through the first floor of the house. The large windows at the back of the living and dining rooms overlooked a huge yard with mature trees providing a curtain of privacy. I still wanted to know why a single guy had a home this big, but I didn’t ask for fear I wouldn’t like the answer. He pulled out a chair, nodding for me to sit. I allowed my hand to rest on top of his for a second as I tried to find the words to explain how much it meant that he was even willing to see if there was anything beyond physical attraction between us.
Once I was seated, Theron pushed in my chair. I folded my hands in my lap, swinging my legs because the table was higher than normal, and it was more fun than simply letting them dangle. Theron set a plate down in front of me. The chicken strips, mac and cheese, and carrots were very carefully placed on the plate, so nothing was touching. I stared at the plate, fighting the unexpected emotions I felt over something so inconsequential to most. That plate felt symbolic to me.
“I didn’t ask what you liked.”
I blinked a couple of times before turning my head to look up at Theron. His brow was furrowed as he watched me. Would it be wrong for me to address the elephant in the room? “It’s perfect.”
“Do you want any sauce or dressing? I have ranch or peanut butter.”
I scrunched up my nose. Peanut butter on chicken strips? Gross. “I’d like some ranch, please.”
I wasn’t sure which of us was more surprised by the sing-song lilt in my voice. A sense of rightness filled me as Theron grabbed my dressing and I stared at the plate. I picked up my fork and stabbed at the noodles. This wasn’t a boxed mix with powdered cheese, it was gooey awesomeness and it smelled divine. I hoped he had more because, now that there was a plate in front of me, I was starving. I wouldn’t tell Theron, but I hadn’t eaten breakfast, either.
When Theron scruffed my hair, I leaned into his touch. I wanted more. Wantedhim.This was a glimpse of what the future could be, and I wanted more of it. “Thank you, Sir.”
I wasn’t at a place where I could call him Daddy. That would take time and trust. But calling him by his name felt wrong. He was something special to me, and I needed him to understand that I wanted whatever he was offering.
Theron crouched down next to me. I reached out to cup his cheek, not sure how I felt with him being lower than me. It was silly, but I’d spent enough time at the club to know each of us had our place. “You’re welcome, my precious boy. I know I haven’t done anything to earn your respect, but I promise I will do my best by you always.”
I reached out for Theron’s hand, tugging him upright. Maybe it was silly, but I didn’t like him being lower than me.
Stupid stereotypes.
“Thank you for making me lunch.” On my drive over here, I’d thought about the last time anyone had gone out of their way to feed me. Other than my family when I was home, I couldn’t think of a single time anyone had made my needs their priority. “Are you going to eat, too?”
Theron shook his head before taking the seat next to mine. “Nope. I ate earlier. This is for you because you’re a silly boy who didn’t remember to eat.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing you want to take care of me.” As soon as I said it, I regretted my assumption.
I settled a bit when Theron took my hand. His thumb brushing back and forth against the back the back of my hand calmed my nerves further. “Is that something you want as well? Tell me, Sammy, what would make you happy?”
You calling me Sammy again would be a good start.I really, really liked that. I went by Sammy in the online forums, but I’d never told a soul that was how I thought of myself when I imagined being little.
“I know it’s uncomfortable, but I’ve been around long enough I know it’s not beneficial to dance around certain conversations,” Theron explained. He dipped a chicken strip in the sauce and lifted it to my mouth. When I took a bite, Theron smiled. He continued feeding me as he spoke. “Bad things happen when people assume what the other wants. I’m serious about not wanting to do or say anything to upset you. I’d rather we get the icky talking out of the way now so we can both sink into our roles moving forward.”
“That’s smart.” Theron held a hand under the chicken strip to keep the sauce from dripping onto the slate tabletop.
“I try.” Theron smiled and winked. “Andyouhaven’t answered my question. If you could have your perfect relationship, what would it look like? I could tell you what I enjoy, but I’d prefer to hear your interests first.”
“Why?” Theron lifted the cup to my lips, tipping it back so I could take a drink.
“Because you already know I’m a Daddy, but there’s a broad spectrum within that. I don’t know what appeals to you,” he explained. I scrunched up my nose when he offered me a carrot stick. I wasn’t a fan of veggies, but the look on Theron’s face made it clear that eating my carrots wasn’t optional. Luckily, he didn’t take issue with my healthy food being drowned in yummy dressing. “If you’re worried about turning me off, stop. I’ve been a Daddy to a baby boy, and I’ve played with men who had no desire to regress. The big thing that appeals to me is taking care of my boy, whether he’s big or little.”
Oh. Well that was refreshing. It was a big deal to admit I wanted to see what it was like to be little. So far, I’d limited myself to stuffies, blankies, and toys that could easily be played off as holdovers from childhood. I wanted to go deeper, but I’d always told myself that was something I wanted to save for my Daddy when I found him. And maybe I had.
“I’ve never gotten to be little,” I admitted. “I like the idea of it, and I know there are things I like, but it’s not as fun when you don’t have a Daddy to take care of you.”
There. That was honest. And the world didn’t crash down around me when I admitted it.
“Well, then why don’t you finish eating and we can talk further about what that would look like to you before we start working.” That sounded like a damn good idea to me. I wondered if Theron understood it would be impossible for me to focus on work until after we’d both laid our cards on the table.
“I’d like that.” Theron brushed his thumb over my cheekbone and my entire body came to life. He smiled and I knew I’d do just about anything to earn that look directed at me.
