Theron must have taken the long pause as me trying to weasel out of a date with him yet again. His next message made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Tell me if I’m being too forward, but the other option is for you to come to my house. I will make you something to eat and you can keep working.
Was he being forward? Yes.
Was that exactly what I needed? Also, yes.
Was I brave enough to go to his house where I didn’t have the relative safety of being in a public place? Yes, because Theron had given me no reason to distrust him. And the quiet here would only last about another hour, and then I’d be kicking myself in the ass if I turned him down.
Okay. Send me your address.
While I waited, I started packing my laptop, books, and notes. I glanced at my dresser, wondering if it would be presumptuous to pack an overnight bag as well. Did I evenwanthim to invite me to spend the night?
My heart thumped rapidly in my chest, and I had to concentrate on my breathing to keep from hyperventilating. If he did offer and I accepted, that would probably mean sharing a bed. Maybe more. And I still wasn’t sure I was ready to go that far. It was one thing for him to say he had no issue with my lack of a typical penis, but I’d read a few too many horror stories to believe he’d feel the same once clothes came off.
But if I didn’t pack a bag and the day went well, I’d have to come home. And that would mean tossing and turning while my roommates partied, because why should they care about things like normal people wanting to sleep.
There was no right answer. I decided to throw a change of clothes and my travel kit into a bag. With as often as I fell asleep at the bar, it probably wasn’t a bad idea to have that stuff stowed in my trunk anyway. And by justifying it that way, I could pretend I wasn’t tentatively hoping Theron asked me to stay with him—even if it was way too soon for that.
When Theron sent me the address, I entered it into GPS, surprised to see he only lived a few miles from the club. That could be convenient in the future.
It’ll take me about twenty minutes to get there, I texted on my way into the bathroom. One look in the mirror had me wishing I hadn’t said that. Theron hadn’t been subtle about the fact he was looking for a boy. We met in the playroom, which said, at the very least, he wasn’t opposed to me being little. Would he still like me if he saw me scruffy? My hair was also sticking up in every direction, but there wasn’t much I could do about that, other than getting it wet and trying to tame it a bit.
In short, I was a mess. And maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. There had been a time in my life when I’d adopted the attitude that people could either take or leave me, but I wasn’t going to change to make anyone happy. I needed to find that guy again because no way would he have been angsting over whether he’d make a good impression on a man.
Iwantedto be that guy again. But doing so meant forgetting everything that had happened during my freshman year of college before I’d taken yet another year off to get my shit together.
Mav was right; it was time to take back the control I was still giving Anthony over my life. The first tiny step I could take toward that goal wasnotobsessing about being the adorable, clean-shaven twink I’d been the night I met Theron. If he wanted to me to go to his house to study, he’d have to see me in full student-mode.
My stomach started to churn the closer I got to Theron’s house. The difference between where he lived and my place, was like night and day. When the GPS announced that I had arrived at my destination, I gaped at the house in front of me, then checked the text from Theron to make sure I didn’t screw up and enter the wrong address. No way couldthisbe his house. I’d imagined Theron living in something modest, maybe a townhome with modern furnishings. But no, this was definitely the address he’d given me.
I grabbed my backpack off the passenger seat and wiped my sweaty palms as I made my way up the sloped driveway. The front door opened, and Theron greeted me with a broad smile. “I was beginning to think I’d have to drag you out of the car.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t sure I’d gotten the right address,” I admitted. My cheeks heated when I realized how that might sound to him. “I mean, not that you couldn’t have a house like this but it’s not what I was expecting. It’s big for someone who lives on his own.”
That lump in my stomach grew bigger as the weight of the words hit me. Maybe he hadn’t always lived here alone. While I wasn’t sure how old he was—that wasn’t really the type of thing you just blurted out to someone when you were just getting to know them—the fact he was a principal at a high school said there had to be at least ten years between us, probably more. That was a whole lifetime he could have shared with someone else.
“Relax,” Theron urged me, resting his hand on my hip. “If you’re having second thoughts, I can grab my keys and we can go out to lunch. It was probably a bit much for me to ask you over to my house when we barely know one another. I don’t want you upset.”
“No, it…it’s n-not that,” I stammered. Great, now I was turning into a bumbling mess. “It’s unconventional, but I’m not worried you’ll hurt me or take advantage of me.”
Theron grabbed my bag, slinging it over his shoulder before sliding his hand into mine. “Let’s take this inside and you can tell me what has you worried.”
“I’m not—” Theron cut me off with one quirked eyebrow, silently daring me to finish what would have been a lie. “Sorry. I wouldn’t say I’m worried so much as realizing I don’t know anything about you.”
“That’s the whole point of me inviting you over here, sweetheart. I was upset when you weren’t able to go out to dinner Monday, and wanted to find a way to see you that would allow you to take care of your homework, too,” Theron explained. His house looked like something out of a magazine. While the walls and hardwood floors were shades of gray, there were pops of color throughout that brought the open concept to life.
“I’m sorry about Monday,” I apologized, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth as I toed off my shoes. This was our chance for a fresh start, and that meant being honest with him. “Ididhave a project I needed to work on, but I was also nervous. I… Well, let’s just say I haven’t dated much, and I’m sure you have. While I was getting ready, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the reasons you could do better than someone like me.”
I stiffened at the low growl behind me. Theron spun me around, dragging his thumb over my bottom lip to free it from my teeth before tipping my head back so I had no choice but to look at him. “Thank you for being honest with me about Monday. Now, let’s get one thing clear.Iwill be the one to decide if you’re worthy of my time. And you aremore than enough. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t have invited you into my home. I should be the one who’s worried. You’re young and beautiful and have your whole life ahead of you, while I’m an old man who can’t stop thinking about someone half his age.”
Half his age?If he was fifty, I wanted his genetics. He wasn’t bulky, but he was definitely fit, with toned arms and a firm chest, and there wasn’t a hint of gray, even at his temples. Seriously, no way would I have pegged him for being that old.
“Oh, sweetheart, you looking at me like you want to climb me is good for the ego.” Theron chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in for a tight hug.
“How old are you?” I asked, leaning back so I could look into his deep brown eyes. He swallowed, and I had to fight the urge to lick his defined Adam’s apple. I wasn’t ashamed to admit I had an unhealthy obsession with men’s necks.
“Forty-three.” Okay, so not twice my age at all. It was still one hell of an age gap, but if he didn’t mind, neither did I. Even when I’d been a teen, trying to figure out who he was when my outside didn’t match my inside, I’d always been attracted to older men. Before she knew what was going on, my mother had been scared to death that I was going to run off with an older man and get myself knocked up. Now, we laughed about those memories and how off-base she’d been.
