“Yes!” I fist pumped and did a little dance. Tonight was going to be awesome, as long as Brandon said they could go.
“What’s got you so excited?” I pursed my lips together, not sure if it was okay for me to say anything yet. I didn’t want to get his hopes up and then have Brandon tell Jay it was something he couldn’t do. That would crush Matt, and I didn’t want to hurt my friend. But he’d love it there, and that would make him happy.
“Nothing,” I lied. Matt gave my shoulder a playful shove. “I’d tell you if I could, but I can’t. Not yet at least. If that changes, I will definitely tell you and you’ll know why I’m so happy.”
“I hate it when you talk in riddles,” Matt grumbled.
Daddy sent another text reminding me to be home in thirty minutes for dinner. I responded that we’d be there, then closed out my text app. “We need to head back toward home.”
“Seriously?” Matt held up his phone and flicked his finger in some elaborate move in the game. I wasn’t nearly as serious about it as he was, and I just swiped up when I wanted to play. For me, it was more about being out and doing something other than my stats. He, on the other hand, was obsessed.
“Yeah, seriously.” I tried sounding as stern as I possibly could, but given the way Matt held in his laughter, I was pretty sure I’d failed. “There might be a surprise later, but we won’t get it if we keep Jay and Brandon waiting for dinner.”
“What kind of surprise?” Matt pressed when I didn’t give him any details.
I tugged on his arm and started walking in the opposite direction. “The kind you’ll like. Come on.”
My belly flipped a little when we got home, and I saw my new plastic divider plate on the counter. No one in the suite knew about my little stuff. Sure, Matt knew about the toys and my blankie, but the things that couldn’t be explained away were always hidden.
“Daddy,” I whispered, tugging him into the hallway. “What are you doing? They’re going to see.”
“That’s the whole point, buddy.” He wrapped his arms around me and started rubbing my back as he kissed the side of my head. “This is home and you deserve to be comfortable here. And youcan bewith them. They know you’re little and they still want to hang out. Plus, maybe you can help Brandon understand what being little is like. You were so good about helping me understand.”
That changed things. Daddy wasn’t just doing this for me, he was trying to be a good friend. If Brandon saw that being little was just part of who I was, then maybe he’d see that Matt could be little and still be his boyfriend. I stood up straight, keeping my shoulders back as I looked up at Jay. “That’s a very good idea. But then Matty should have a divider plate, too. If he wants one, I mean. Can I ask him?”
“Let’s not push them too hard right away,” Daddy suggested. “Remember how scared you were when I knew about your binkie? I bet it’s even harder for them because Matt didn’t learn as much as you did.”
I didn’t want to use my special plate if Matty couldn’t have one, too. He might be upset that I was trying to be braggy about the things Daddy bought for me. But Daddy was really smart about these things, and he knew better how it felt to be confused and curious all at the same time. So, I was going to listen to him.
Brandon and Matt both turned back to the food in front of them when we approached the table. Matt looked up at me and smiled. “Brandon said it was okay for me to have chicken nuggets with you!”
“That’s awesome!” And it was. I loved seeing him happy. He curled an arm around his plate like he expected Brandon to change his mind and take the food away from him. Jay grabbed our plates and set mine down in front of me before going back into the kitchen to get drinks. My eyes lit up when he brought backtwocups of chocolate milk, setting one in front of me and the other in front of Matty. “Chocolate milk’s a treat. We probably get it tonight because we were home on time.”
“But that’s not the surprise, right?” Matty frowned when I squirted the empty section of my plate full of ketchup. “That’s gross.”
“Matt.” Oh yeah, Brandon was going to be a good Daddy. He had the growly, grumpy voice perfected. “Don’t make him feel bad. Just because you don’t like ketchup doesn’t mean others don’t.”
“But it’s like a gallon of it on his plate.” Matty wasdefinitelya little brat. I didn’t feel bad. He was acting out, trying to get a rise out of his Daddy and it was working. He pushed away from the table and got the ranch dressing for his nuggets.
I scrunched up my face when he poured some on the edge of his plate.Thatwas yucky. It looked like cum and tasted like garlic. No thank you. Matty stuck out his tongue. “Just becauseyoudon’t like ranch doesn’t mean others don’t,” he said, parroting Brandon’s words.
“Matthew, you may want to watch it,” Brandon scolded him, sounding even more stern this time. “If you want anything other than bedtime with a documentary, I suggest you apologize. Chase is trying to be a good friend and you’re being a little shit.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to say bad words,” Matt chided him. I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to get his attention. This wasnothow you earned a fun punishment. He looked at me and shrugged. “What? I’m just sayin’. But I’m sorry for being a butthead.”
“It’s okay, I’m getting used to it.” I wasn’t letting him off the hook, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal. I knew he was just teasing. “Does that mean we’re…you know?”
Matt still didn’t know where we were going tonight. Or at least I hoped we were, because Matty was going to think the playroom was awesome. I was going to be mad if he messed this up for us.
“As long as someone watches his attitude,” Brandon replied, quirking an eyebrow as he glanced at Matt.
“Oh, come on! Does everyone but me know?” Matt complained. With a simple look, Brandon silenced him from any further whining. Matt shoved three nuggets into his mouth, crossed his arms over his chest, and pouted.
“Eat, instead of talking back, then maybe your Daddy will tell you where we’re going,” I suggested. Brandon’s fork clattered as he dropped it on the plate. Jay was staring at me, mouth hanging open. It was the first time any of us had openly acknowledged that we knew what they were up to. I paused with a chicken nugget inches away from my mouth. “What? It’s true. If you guys can’t even say things out loud, then maybe going tonight is a bad idea.”
Jay smiled widely. He gave me a subtle nod, letting me know he was proud of me. I was proud of me, too. It was sometimes hard to believe I’d been scared out of my mind to let anyone see me little. Ash. My little side wasn’t some vague concept anymore, IwasJay’s Ash when I was little. And it was because of him that I was able to explore regressing further, faster than I’d ever imagined possible.
I hurried through my own dinner. I wanted time to talk to Daddy about what was going to happen tonight. I was excited about going to the club, but I wasn’t sure I felt comfortable being little around Matt and Brandon just yet. It was a big step for me. My head knew they wouldn’t say anything, but that did little to ease my anxiety.
