I didn’t tell Brandon that I didn’t think diapers and bottles were something he needed to worry about. Based on his personality, I couldn’t imagine Matt regressing quite that far.
“That sounds pretty cool, actually.” As Brandon finished up the sauce and drained the pasta, we made plans to head out after dinner, as long as no one had any homework thathadto be done tonight. “Is there a dress code or anything like that?”
“Nope,” I reassured him. “There will be littles and their Daddies there, but from what I saw the one time we went, everyone’s totally chill. It’s pretty come as you are.”
Brandon leaned against the counter. I waited, knowing he was running through the pros and cons in his head. That was the way he did everything. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do this.”
“You won’t regret it.”
17
Chase
Matt was waitingfor me outside Talbert. I’d planned on going upstairs to get my homework out of the way, so I had one less thing on my plate. I’d been going home with Jay on the weekends for a few weeks now, but there was this elephant in the room. Every time I tried talking to him about it, he quickly distracted me with a new stuffie or coloring book. As much as I loved presents, weneededto talk.
“Do you want to head over to the gym with me?” Matt twisted the hem of his t-shirt and wouldn’t make eye contact. He’d been more withdrawn recently, and I was starting to worry things weren’t going well between him and Brandon.
I’d warned him to be careful about dumping too much on Brandon at once. He wasn’t like me; being little was something he was interested in, but he hadn’t spent years obsessing over it before finding his Daddy. In some ways, I envied him never having to go out and look for someone to be with, but I also understood there was risk for him. If things went south, he was in danger of losing someone he’d been friends with since they were kids. That would hurt so much more than when Jesse kicked me in the gut.
I had too much to do to waste the afternoon playing our game. Defending our gym was a bad reason to put off my responsibilities. But Matt needed a friend. Surely there was an exception to the rules for that. “Yeah, but only for a little while. I’ll just text Jay and tell him where I am.”
“Is that one of your rules?” Mattlovedwhen I told him about the rules my Daddy gave me. Any time I opened up a little more and told him about Ash, he’d give me his undivided attention, as if I was revealing secrets he’d been dying to learn. I felt bad for him. He was still too scared to tell his Daddy what he needed. I wished there was a way to help him.
“Sort of.” I shrugged. It wasn’t technically a rule that I had to check in with him. I almost wished it was, but Jay kept telling me I was still an adult who could do whatever I wanted. He worried a lot that people would think he was controlling me, but that was dumb. Knowing he loved me enough to set boundaries and expectations gave me freedom to be me. It felt like he took the little stress away so I could pay attention to the big things. “It’s more mutual respect than anything. I don’t want him to worry about me if I’m not home when he thinks I will be.”
“Maybe I’m not supposed to be little,” Matt said as he slumped against the low stone wall in front of the residence hall. “I don’t like having to check in or having people tell me what to do.”
This wasn’t the place to have a conversation like this, but it hurt my heart to see Matt sad. I leaned against the wall beside him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. “You’ll definitely be a handful, but don’t you think your Daddy knows what he’s getting into? You won’t be a different person from who you are big, just a different version of the you that’s always there. And maybe you forgetting the rules, will mean Brandon has to punish you.”
I shifted, allowing the rough capstone to rub against my still tender bottom. Punishments weren’tfunbut they weren’t so bad. Unless it was sitting in the corner; Ihated that,and Daddy knew it. I would do just about anything to make sure I didn’t get in big enough trouble for that again.
“Punishments are a good thing?” Matt’s nose scrunched up and he shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“They are,” I insisted. “When Daddy has to punish me, it reminds me that I belong to him. He doesn’t do it because he’s mad at me, but because he wants me to be the best I can be.”
“And youlikethat?” Matt gaped at me, seemingly baffled by my admission. “I mean, Brandon’s spanked me before, but that’s just part of sex for us. Do you have sex after you get punished?”
“Nope. We really don’t do that very often.” And there was the elephant again, stomping into my head when I was having a good time with my friend. I’d thought the weekends were going to be time for me to be little and for sex when Jay’s mom went out with her friends, which she’d been doing at least one night every weekend so we could have some alone time.
I was getting plenty of time to be Ash without having to worry about someone walking in on me, but the sex…not so much. I was starting to think it wasn’t good for Jay, but he loved me too much to tell me. “If you are little, you’ll start to understand eventually. And sometimes, I guess, there could be sex after. You have to make your own rules.”
“Or Brandon does,” Matt scoffed. “I just don’t see that happening. I’ve been trying things to see how it feels, and I think it’s making him nervous. He looks at me like he doesn’t know what to do with me.”
“That can happen,” I reassured him. We kept talking as we climbed the hill leading to the science building. My legs ached by the time we reached the top. This was a dumb place to have a gym; we should have put it at the bottom of the hill.
Matt and I battled for a while before wandering further down the trail that wound through campus. Along the way, we stopped to capture more monsters. It was a mindless game, but a great way to get some exercise without feeling like we were working out. Before I knew it, we’d wandered over a mile from Talbert. I needed to text Daddy and check in with him.
He gave me permission to stay out another half-hour and then told me he wanted to go to The Lodge. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It was fun the first time, but I wasn’t good at making new friends and I knew that’s why he wanted us to go. He said I needed more littles to play with because boys shouldn’t have to hide their toys. I didn’t need other friends as long as Matt was willing to build stuff with me. He even had Beyblades in his room, and those were super cool when they broke apart in battle.
I looked at Matt and thought about how sad and confused he felt. I thought about how much it would have helped me if I’d known places like The Lodge existed when I’d first started learning about age play.
I didn’t want Daddy upset if he wanted tonight to be a date, but the worst that could happen would be he’d say no.
Can we invite Matt? I think he wants to play, too. He’s been acting funny.
I crossed my fingers while I waited for a reply. Matt said something to me, but I waved him off. This was more important than him rattling off the stats on his latest capture. Finally, the little dots appeared on the screen.
That’s a great idea, buddy. I’ll ask Brandon.
