“I just…” He might be out of his element when it came to being a caregiver, but I was in over my head with everything. The night we’d been walking home from the parking lot, and I’d come in my pants, had been the furthest I’d ever gotten with anyone. Before that, I’d never had an orgasm in front of someone. “I didn’t want to assume anything.”
Jay backing away from me wasn’t what I’d expected to happen after the hot kiss we’d shared. I reached out, trying to pull him back to me. “Not like this, Chase. I don’t want the first time we’re really together to be rushed or when someone could interrupt us at any minute. We’re going to get dressed and go to class. You’re going to hang out with Matt after classes, because you need more than just me, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be okay with whatever you decide to reveal to him. There’s time for us. We don’t need to rush anything.”
“I don’t want to be a virgin forever,” I complained, immediately regretting what I’d said. Even though I was fairly certain he already knew I hadn’t been with anyone, blurting it out like that was horrifying. I buried my face in my hands, not wanting to see his reaction. Even though Jay had been amazing about everything so far, I knew a lot of guys didn’t want to be with someone who’dneverdone anything.
“And you won’t be,” he promised me, pulling my hands away from my face. He was so close, it was hard to make my eyes focus as I looked at him. “I promise, this isn’t me blowing you off. But you deserve better than a quickie people might overhear. Trust me on this, please. I just need time to make some plans.”
“Okay, Jay. I trust you.”
He’d better not expect me to wait long. If he did, I wasdefinitelygoing to earn time outs for touching myself. I’d spent too much time since I realized I was gay, thinking about what it would be like to have sex. Before Jay, it had been easy to push those thoughts away as fantasies for someday. Now, the man who penetrated me had a face and I knew every detail about his body. I was tired of waiting.
9
Jayden
How in thehellwas this supposed to work?
Chase was counting on me to give him what he needed, and this morning he’d made it abundantly clear that what he needed was me. I might as well have skipped classes today for as little as I’d paid attention. When I should have been scribbling notes, I was thinking about how needy Chase had been this morning.
It was the first time hehadn’tbeen Ash when we’d fooled around. Sure, he’d slipped into his little space when he’d first barged into our room freaking out, but when he’d gotten hard as I changed him, he most definitely wasnotmy compliant little boy. He was all greedy man, and it had taken everything in me to not strip him out of his briefs, flip him onto his stomach, and bury my cock so deep inside of him that he cried out in pleasure and pain.
I meant it when I told him he deserved better than a quickie in our room for his first time. If I could, I’d rent the best hotel room in the city and make love to him overlooking the city skyline at night. That was a great fantasy, but I was a broke college kid. That meant I needed to get creative. Being a broke college kid with a healthy libido and a boyfriend who was desperate to burn his V card, meant it was impossible for me to concentrate.
Most days, I rushed home from class so I could spend time with Chase, but with him out spending time with Matt, I decided to make a call I dreaded. With every ring, I grew hopeful I’d be able to take the coward’s way out and leave a message. Those hopes were dashed when the call connected in the middle of the fourth ring. “Hey Jayden, everything okay?”
No. Everything most definitely wasn’t okay. I was falling for my roommate and worried I’d never be enough for him. I had more questions than answers, and no matter what I searched on the internet, I was no closer to feeling like I knew what I was doing. “Yeah, everything’s good, Uncle William.”
“Uh-oh, you sound far too formal for me to believe you.” Okay, so maybe I’d pushed back on calling him anything other than William since he’d retired from the military and barged into our lives. In my defense, I was used to being the man of the house and didn’t appreciate him thinking he was any sort of authority figure when he’d been MIA most of my life. “What’s going on, kiddo?”
Ugh. I hated when he called me that. It always felt like he was trying to put me in my place. But in this case, I was practically a damned infant. “I was wondering if you meant what you said.”
“Ialwaysmean whatever I say, but would you care to be more specific?” There was something about the tone of his voice that said he didn’t need the clarification as much as he wanted me to say it out loud.
“The stuff from the other night.” If I couldn’t even say it, how could I expect todoit? “The…you know…the Daddy stuff,” I explained, my voice dropping lower with every word. I checked over my shoulder to make sure no one was close enough to overhear. “Well, all of it, really.”
My uncle laughed hard enough I pulled the phone away from my ear and glared at it. This wasn’t helpful. The last fucking thing I wanted was for him to be entertained by my crisis.
“You know what, nevermind.” As my thumb hovered over the end call button, I heard William calling my name. “What? I don’t need to be mocked. You said to call you, so I did.”
“I’m sorry, Jayden. That was insensitive of me,” he apologized. “I’m on my way down to the club now. Are you free this afternoon?”
I wasn’t sure I was ready for another private lesson in the world of age play. That wasn’t why I’d called him. “Yeah, but Chase is hanging out with a friend.”
“That’s fine. I get the feeling it might be for the best if the two of us sat down without him.”
Okay, that didn’t sound so bad. If not for the fact Mom would hear my car coming down the road, I might have suggested we meet up at his place when he wasn’t on his way to work. Going to the club was my best bet of hashing things out with him, without worrying about any well-meaning meddling.
“I could probably be there in about thirty minutes,” I told him. I still needed to get back to the room to collect my keys and dump off my laptop. No way in hell was I leaving my shit sitting in the car. The Lodge wasn’t in the best part of town and my entire life lived in that backpack. “You sure Jack will be cool with my hanging out? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“You’re fine,” he reassured me. “Jack’s trying to take it easy this week before the new playroom opens. It’s Sam we have to worry about. But if he says anything, you need to remember he’s just stressed out. He wants everything to go perfect.”
“That’s the kid Jack hired, right?” I knew a bit more than I let on about The Lodge. I’d always tried playing it cool, saying I didn’t understand what all went on there, but when I considered how easily I’d accepted Chase, part of me wondered if there wasn’t something more.
“Kid? He’s only a few years older than you,” William scoffed. That may have been true, but I couldn’t imagine being a manager at a kink club at my age. Compared to the type of men who usually filled those roles, he was a baby. “But yes, that’s him. The playroom was his idea, so he’s wound tight about it. Who knows, it may do some good to see someone who’s curious about the lifestyle. He’s convinced it’s going to flop, and that Jack will fire him.”
Damn. That had to be a crazy amount of pressure. Hearing about Sam’s stress made me think my own worries were inconsequential by comparison.
“Cool, well I guess I’ll be there in a bit.” Chatting with William chewed up most of my walk back to Talbert. I hoped Chase was still in the room so I could give him a little pep talk before I left. He was nervous about spending the day with Matt, but that was because he was overthinking things. Even if Matthadfigured out Chase was little, he was cool enough he wouldn’t care. He’d ask questions, but if Chase wasn’t comfortable answering, he’d let it drop. Plus, the more I learned, the more I became convinced the guys in the room next to us had some secrets of their own.
