Michael
Isat on the edge of Dax’s bed as he rummaged through his closet for something appropriate to wear to dinner. I’d told him there was no reason to freak out, that dinner at Mom’s wasn’t a dress-up affair, but he refused to listen to me.
Both of us looked a bit rough. As he’d promised, Dax was waiting for me when I got home from work, and we’d stayed up until the sun was shining talking through everything we’d been keeping from one another. As we fell into the bed to get a few hours of sleep, Dax pulled me close to his side and promised me once again that he wasn’t going to let me push him away. I wished I could promise him that I wouldn’t try, but I knew myself better than that.
After the fourth time Dax changed his shirt, I stood and wrapped my arms around him from behind. “Babe, you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. You’ve already met my parents. They love you.”
“Yeah, but that was when they thought I was just Jagger’s teacher and your friend,” Dax argued. He slid his arms into another shirt, shaking his head when he looked in the mirror.
I spun him around and went to work on the buttons before he could decide there was something wrong with this choice as well. “And when I told my mom how I felt about you, nothing changed. She still thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. I’m the one who should be worried. If I screw this up, she’ll probably kick me to the curb and keep you around.”
I could feel the low rumble in Dax’s chest. He tugged my hands away from his chest and held them firmly at my sides. “I already told you I’m not going to let you push me away, so stop trying to figure out what’s going to happen when we don’t work out. We’ll be fine, but you have to have faith in us.”
“I do, it’s just—”
“No!” I jumped at the no-nonsense tone in Dax’s voice. “I know you roll your eyes at me sometimes, but you have to believe in us or we might as well not even try.”
My phone pinged with an incoming text from Justin letting me know he was headed over to my parents’ place and would meet us there.
“Fine, you’re right,” I conceded. I still had my doubts, but it wasn’t going to do either of us any good to argue about it. I had to trust Dax and remember that he was the strength that’d get us through whatever came our way. “Now, you need to get some shoes on, otherwise my mom’s going to have more time than I’m comfortable with to press Justin for information about you.”
Dax’s entire body tensed as we walked into my childhood home. Even Jagger tackling him at the door didn’t help him relax. I felt a catch in my throat as I watched him hug my son and let myself appreciate just how much Dax did care for both of us. After Erica, I’d thought it’d be hard to find someone willing to take on the responsibility of being with a single parent. While we still had plenty of hurdles to get past, I felt peace wash over me because Dax already loved Jagger.
“Relax,” I whispered in his ear before kissing the side of my son’s head. My hand slid around Dax’s narrow waist and I pulled both of them into a hug. “You have nothing to worry about.”
A loud cough had us jumping apart. I turned and saw my dad’s narrowed gaze watching us. For the briefest of moments, I considered telling Dad that it wasn’t what it looked like, but it was. And the first thing I needed to do to prove how badly I wanted this was to be honest about my feelings for Dax. I wouldn’t say anything while Jagger was around, but we would be talking about it at some point.
“Your mother thought she heard the front door.” He turned and walked away without another word, his mouth drawn into a tight frown.
“Maybe I should go,” Dax offered, his hand already on the doorknob. He bent down to set Jagger back on the ground as he opened the door. “Thanks for inviting me, but I don’t want to cause any problems.”
While I understood what he was saying, I wasn’t going to let him leave. Dax was right; when problems came up, we needed to provide a united front. And the only way Dad would possibly try to understand what was going on was if we proved to him that this was more than just a quick fling.
“Don’t go,” I pleaded. I reached past him and pushed the door closed. “Think about this from his perspective. It’s a huge change, and it’s my fault for not saying something to him at the same time I told my mom. I took the coward’s way out and assumed she’d tell him what was going on.”
“Either way, I don’t think he’s happy about me being here,” Dax argued. He knelt down and whispered something to Jagger, who then took off toward the kitchen. “Michael, I don’t even know him, but I could tell there was a hell of a lot he wasn’t saying because Jagger was with us. I appreciate your mom inviting me to dinner, but I’m not going to make him uncomfortable in his own home.”
“Boy, if you think you can change that at this point, you’re mistaken,” my dad admonished from the end of the hall. “What’s done is done. It says plenty about your character that you’re willing to leave for my sake, but if I let you do that, my wife and son will never forgive me. If you don’t mind, I would like a few minutes with Michael.”
“Absolutely,” Dax responded at the same time I said, “Dad, whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of him.”
“No, it’s fine,” Dax assured me. I noticed the way he reached out for me and then dropped his hand when he remembered we weren’t alone. “I’ll go find Justin and your mom. Talk to him.”
Being led to the gallows couldn’t have been much more uncomfortable than following Dad out to the deck. He motioned for me to sit in the lounger next to the grill, but I couldn’t sit down. My body was humming with nervous energy, so I chose to lean against the railing instead.
For a man who said he wanted to talk, he wasn’t saying much. I wondered if he was struggling to figure out how to say what he needed to, or if he was so disappointed in me that there were no words. Even if he was upset, I wasn’t going to let him make me feel like shit about this. What I had with Dax was so different from anything I’d felt in the past, and I didn’t want anyone telling me it was wrong to feel this way.
“Dad, would you say something?” I begged when the silence became unbearable.
“What do you want me to say?” he asked. It stung to realize he was upset enough that he couldn’t even look at me.
“I want to know what you’re thinking,” I told him.
Dad slammed the lid of the grill and spun around to face me. “I’m trying to figure out what in the hell’s going on with you. When you told me there was someone you were interested in, it was him, wasn’t it?”
There was no sense lying to him. I hoped that being brutally honest would help him see how much Dax meant to me. “Yeah, it was.”
Dad shook his head and took a long draw off his beer. “I just don’t understand. I know you’ve been lonely, but I don’t see how you could think this is what you want.”
