I lifted a hand to Enzo's face and caressed his cheek with my thumb. "I'm still making a mess of this. That's not what I meant at all."
I leaned forward, brushing my lips across his in the softest of kisses. Enzo let out a hint of a sigh, but the sound shot straight to my balls the same as it would if he'd begged me to fuck him. That was the one boundary we still hadn't crossed, and I wasn't sure if we ever would. Part of me wanted to because I wanted him to believe he was truly equal with Max in my mind, but it was an act that would forever change us. If our triad didn't work out, time would help erase the memories of everything we'd done together. Maybe it was part of the problem; maybe I needed to prove to myself I had faith in us.
"I never want to be without either of you." I scooted closer to Enzo so our legs were touching. "I was caught off guard today and already raw. Seeing how badly Frankie reacted got me started thinking about what Mama will say when she knows. Then I worried about what'd happen if we never got the chance to tell her. I don't want anything to happen to her without her knowing thatboth of ushave found someone who makes us happy. I still don't have a fucking clue how we're going to explainusto them, and that's twisting me up, too."
"There will be time to tell her," he reassured me. Enzo slid a hand over my thigh, the steady rhythm soothing me. "You were there when the doctor said he's cautiously optimistic she's going to recover. There might be some issues she has to get past, but shewillbe okay, Tony. You have to believe it. And when she's on the mend, we'll tell her I'm seeing Max too. I'm pretty sure she'll be more understanding thansomepeople in our family. She's taken everything the guys have thrown at her a lot better than any of them expected her to. All she wants is for all of us to be happy. And we are. Ridiculously so."
"That still leaves one other problem, though." Lying to everyone about Enzo made me feel like he was my dirty little secret and I was his. Luckily, I didn't have to voice any of that to him. Call it twin ESP or just a product of sharing space with someone for most of our lives, but Enzo got what I wasn't saying.
"No one needs to know about us." I stiffened, and my hand slid down his chest. Under my palm, I felt the heat of his skin and the steady beat of his heart. Enzo pulled my hand away from his body and lifted it to his mouth.
"I don't want to keep lying to people, Enzo," I argued, momentarily losing my train of thought as Enzo sucked one finger into his mouth. The little shit was trying to distract me, and it was working. I jerked my hand away from his mouth, hissing when his teeth caught my index finger. "Would you stop? This is serious!"
"No, it's you making a huge deal where there shouldn't be one." He slid his other hand higher on my thigh, dangerously close to my dick which I was busy willing to not react. The tables had completely turned, and I now understood why Enzo and Max got frustrated when I tried putting off talking with sex. I fidgeted under the intensity in his gaze. He leaned in, his face so close to mine I could feel every warm exhale across my face. "No one has a right to know what we do in the privacy of our own home other than us. It's enough for me to know I don't have to be hyper-aware every time Max comes near me when we're all together."
"You deserve to be with someone who can show the world how much you mean to them. To me. To us," I countered.
"Says you." Enzo placed his hand over my chest. "I don't need the world to know any of that. It's enough for me to feel the way you love me when we're all together."
"But doesn't that make you feel like a booty call?" I skimmed my fingers up and down Enzo's forearm, watching him carefully for any non-verbal cue that revealed his true feelings if he tried lying to make me feel less shitty about the situation. I was so into him I was taken aback by his reaction.
Enzo cuffed the back of my head. "No, you dolt. What do I have to do to prove to you I don't need public make out sessions or huge proclamations of love? It's enough for me to haveyou.When I first started feeling shit I knew I shouldn't for you, I thought I was disgusting and broken. Knowing you weren't turned off and were open to being with me too? It's everything to me. You have no clue how twisted up I was when you and Max started getting close, when I started listening to the two of you screwing around, wishing I was in there with you."
"Okay, that's both a bit creepy and insanely hot," I admitted. Whatever I'd been so hellbent on talking about flew from my mind as images started taking shape of Enzo laying in his bed jerking off to the sounds of Max and me fucking. Maybe Enzo was right; maybe I was making a big deal where there didn't need to be one.
"Knowing I can touch you when we're home like this? That's reward enough for not being able to sneak a kiss when we're out in public." Enzo's hand moved over my cock. I parted my legs, allowing him the space to cup my balls. He nipped at my earlobe before sucking it into his mouth, and I couldn't help the moan. My hips started rocking in time with the movement of his hand. "I knew I could get you to see it my way. Do you want this, Tony?"
"Why wouldn't I?" My dick was painfully hard, and I could already feel the precum weeping from my slit. How could he doubt I wanted so much more than the tease he was giving me? With a single finger, he traced the edges of the bulge in my pants, flicking back and forth across the tip. His pink tongue peeked out from between his lips. He swallowed hard and breathed deeply. Enzo was trying his best to maintain his composure when I couldn't wait to see him lose it.
"Do you want it to be just us for a change? We've both fucked Max without the other here, but it's never been just us." He sat up straight, his hand stilling over my crotch. "If that's the way it needs to be, I'll understand."
"I want what you want," I told him. Forming coherent thoughts was tough when I was fighting the urge to beg him to fuck me hard.
"That's not good enough." I whimpered when his hand slid down my leg. He leveled a domineering glare on me when I wrapped my fingers around his wrist to put his hand back where it belonged. "If you want more than we've done before, I need to hear the words."
"Need you, Enzo. I think about what it'd be like to have you take me when I'm jacking off. Get jealous when I come home and still smell sex in the air, wishing it was me," I rambled.
That seemed to be enough for Enzo. My hips bucked off the cushion as he tugged at the waistband of my pants. I writhed, trying to kick them out of the way so I could spread my legs wide for him. I didn’t bottom often, and here I was almost begging to for a second time in as many months. While I’d probably never be the bottom my two men were, I’d needed the reassurance of Max taking me when we’d lost touch physically. I needed Enzo to fill me for similar reasons; giving him the security he needed to believe I was in as deep as he was would be a side benefit.
"Please Enzo, tell me you're going to fuck me." I grew self-conscious when he said nothing, did nothing. He just sat there staring at my half-exposed body. I turned slightly, shielding my erection from his view as I felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up my cheeks. "Don't just sit there, say something.Dosomething. Please."
That was the magic word. With force I didn't know he possessed, Enzo dug his fingers into the back of my neck and yanked me to him. The moment his lips met mine, his tongue shoved into my mouth. I wrestled him for control, internally fist-pumping when Enzo allowed me to shove him to his back. I kissed my way up his body, savored the salty tang as I flicked my tongue over his nipple. "You're beautiful."
Enzo writhed beneath me as I continued licking and sucking my way down his body. I smiled every time he moaned, mentally mapping the spots that got the best reaction out of him. While this wasn't the first time we'd fooled around without Max, it was different knowing we were on the same page and tonightwouldend up with him fucking me.
His fingers twisted in my hair, tugging my head lower while he fumbled with the zipper on his pants. My cock twitched when I breathed in the musky scent of his arousal. My mouth watered, and I couldn't wait another second to have him in my mouth. Teasing him, I flicked my tongue over his tip, collecting the precum pooling there. He arched off the couch as much as he could with my body pressing into his. "Suck me, Tony. Get me ready for you."
I followed his command in my own way. I wanted to draw this out, make sure he was as needy and desperate as I was by the time he buried his cock deep in my ass. Knowing Enzo, he'd try to make tonight something tender and magical, but it wasn't what I wanted from him. Not this time. Tonight, I wanted him to fuck me with wild abandon to prove to both of us we needed the other. And, god, did I need him. It seemed a cruel joke one of the men I couldn't picture myself living without had been there every minute of my life, but I hadn't realized it because of who he was. Tonight felt like a redefinition of the love we'd always shared.
I mouthed my way down Enzo's shaft which was still mostly covered. When I came back up, I ran my tongue over the crown again. His hand slid down my spine and he yanked at the hem of my shirt, forcing me away from my prize long enough to strip me so I was completely naked on top of him. As fun as it was teasing him through the material of his pants, I wanted to feel his skin searing mine. I shoved my hands under his ass and pulled his pants down past his knees and settled back on top of him, rutting as he freed himself.
I gripped his shaft, stroking him as I took him in my mouth, hollowing my cheeks to suck him. Enzo wove his fingers through my hair, guiding me as he fucked my mouth. His movements became frantic and jerky. He shoved me away, only to hitch his hands under my armpits and drag me up his body. We rutted together as we made out, a constant stream of I-love-yous filling the air between lingering, deep kisses. I gasped when he shoved a hand between my legs, his finger pressing against my entrance.
My ass burned as his dry finger breached my hole. He stopped when my face twisted in pain. "Go find the lube," he instructed me, the tip of his finger still inside me. I knew it'd be better with the help of something to slicken my hole, but I couldn't bring myself to get up, scared the short distance between the living room and bedroom would give him time to rethink this. I groaned when he pulled free of my body's hold and swatted my ass. "I'll be right here. Hurry."
I tripped over the pile of discarded clothing. As I righted myself, I spied a jar of coconut oil on the kitchen counter. I wasn't sure if it was a brilliant idea or a horrible one, but it was closer than the lube we kept safely hidden away in the bedroom after Sophia found a bottle in the living room and asked too many questions about what it was for. I unscrewed the lid as I darted back to the couch. The second my fingers hit the mass of solid white, it began to melt. This was going to be messy, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
As I straddled Enzo's hips, I reached back and started fingering myself. Enzo propped himself up, pushing me higher, and reaching between my legs. The stretch was painfully wide, but not unbearable when his finger slid in beside mine. He stared up at me through hooded lids, tongue trailing along his lower lip as we worked in tandem to prep me to take his girth. "Just like this, Tony. No matter what, we do this together."
