"I appreciate that."
The doors swung open, halting our conversation briefly. While I was relieved it wasn't one of the staff who was treating Mama, a pit formed in my stomach as we silently watched a grieving family shuffle through the room. It could've been us. Still could be if Mama suffered a setback, and here we were talking about my love life. I was a horrible son for not tabling this discussion for a more appropriate time.
Freddie pulled his phone out of his pocket, smiling dumbly at the screen. It didn't take a genius to realize who'd texted him. After tapping out a quick reply, he stuffed the phone away. "Sorry, Peter was just letting me know both he and Sophia are done with their homework. I swear, sometimes it feels like I'm parenting both of them."
"Yeah, but only one of them likes spankings," I quipped, both to lighten the mood and get the attention off myself. Max choked, spewing water all over himself and the floor. "You know I'm right. I'd bet Peter's a freak in the sheets."
Freddie simply shrugged. It was crazy to me how much he'd changed since the two of them had gotten together. Old Freddie would've gone off on a rant about how inappropriate it was to discuss sex lives in public. This version of Freddie decided to up the ante. "Okay, if we're opening the bedroom door here, I do have one question..."
"Go for it, we're not going to keep secrets. Just remember, you might not like the answer you get." While I'd have to get creative if Freddie edged too close to the single truth I wasn't prepared to share, I was done lying to our family.
"I don't need details, but how do you guys decide who gets Max for the night? Do you have a calendar or something? I don't sleep for shit when I'm not next to Peter, so it's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of having him in the same apartment and still sleeping alone." Yeah, Freddie had it bad. Luckily, that wasn't something we had to deal with because Tony had insisted on buying the biggest bed he could fit into his bedroom when he moved out after a lifetime of cramming himself into a twin bed.
"Who says it has to be one or the other?" I teased. "Tony and I do know how to share our toys."
"But what about—" His brow furrowed, and he shook his head quickly as if he was trying to clear the images that'd just formed in his mind. "Never mind, I don't need to know."
"Probably for the best." Max laughed, reaching around my back to squeeze Freddie's shoulder. "So, you're good with this?"
"As long as you're all happy, I'm good," he reassured us. "The one thing this family has taught me is sometimes you simply have to accept love looks different to everyone, and it's not my place to judge anyone."
The doors Frankie and Tony had exited earlier opened, and everyone stilled. I don't mean our group, I meaneveryone.It seemed they were now invested in our family's soap opera. A few of them seemed almost disappointed by the anti-climactic return of our brothers. Tony shot me a quick smile, and my shoulders relaxed. I'd find out later what had been said, but for now, it was enough to know Tony wasn't still ready to kick the shit out of Frankie.
As much as I didn't want to leave the hospital without seeing Mama, it was going to be a while before they allowed any of us back. The doctors here were first-rate; they'd take good care of her. And even though our brothers now knew the truth about Max and me, I still didn't feel comfortable snuggling up to him the way I wanted with all of them watching. Maybe someday, but for now, I felt it was easier to ease them into accepting us. If we left now, there was a chance we'd have time to decompress a bit in the peace of our home before Max had to go to work tonight.
"You about ready?" I asked Max, trailing my fingers along the top of his thigh. He tensed then let out a shudder. Damn, how I wished he could call off work tonight because finishing what he and I had started this morning—god, had it really only been hours since we napped together and then Frankie walked in on us?—seemed like the perfect way to stop worrying about Mama for a little bit. Maybe it made me a horrible son to think about how desperately I wanted to get naked and sweaty with my guys while she was in the hospital hooked up to monitors and IVs, but I needed them. Needed the reassurance that we'd all come out the other side of this unscathed.
"Yeah, just let me say goodbye to the guys." I leaned in to kiss Max, hesitating at the last second. He responded by sliding his fingers through my hair and drawing me to him. The kiss we shared was barely more than platonic, but it sent a shiver through my entire body. It felt like he was claiming me, owning me in front of everyone I worried would reject us. When he pulled away, I dragged a finger across my lips before resting my forehead against his. "Showing them how happy we are together?"
"You damn straight. Now that the cat's out of the bag, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my hands off you," he warned me. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, reminding myself it'd be highly inappropriate to spring wood in the middle of the hospital with my brothers looking on. Max chuckled, obviously sensing my discomfort. "Let's get you guys home so we can talk a bit before I have to go to work."
"I can think of so many things I'd rather do than talk," I groaned. Max stood, holding out a hand to help me off the couch.
"I know, but we've slipped away from the talking part, and it's important. Today blindsided all of us, and I don't think any of us like the way we felt," he pointed out. I hated when Max was right.
I allowed him to lead me to Matteo and Levi first. Their eyes shone with nothing but approval before Matteo pulled me into a tight hug. He pressed a quick kiss to my cheek then whispered words of wisdom I'd never have expected from the baby of the family. "Don't let Frankie hold you back. The rest of us can see how happy all three of you are, so just keep doing what you're doing. No one can make you feel bad about this because there's nothing wrong with falling in love."
"Thank you, Teo." I squeezed him a bit tighter, holding the embrace until I felt confident tears weren't about to spill from my eyes.
After reassurances from Frankie that he'd call if there was any news, the three of us made our way to the parking garage. Whether out of lingering fear or respect, we maintained distance from one another until the elevator doors opened to the third deck of the garage. I scrubbed a hand over my face and let out a weary sigh as I followed Tony and Max to Tony's car. As happy as I was when the three of us were alone together, I was beginning to understand there'd never be a time when all three of us could show the world what we shared. Even those who wouldn't balk at the sight of three men walking hand in hand would take a second look when they saw Max flanked by a set of identical twins. If we thought Frankie's reaction stung, it was nothing compared to the hatred that'd be flung our way by strangers who didn't worry about how their words would hurt us.
I thought I'd done a good job hiding my emotional turmoil as we piled into the car, but as Tony pulled out his wallet to pay for parking, Max turned sideways in the passenger seat. "You okay back there?"
"I'm fine," I lied. Max had to work in less than two hours which meant my fears would have to stay packed away for another day.
"Bullshit," Tony scoffed. I hadn't even realized he'd heard us. Since he'd come back from his chat with Frankie, he'd been uncharacteristically quiet and stuck in his head. It wouldn't surprise me if our eldest brother's lecture had him rethinking whether we were worth it. As much as I loved Tony and wanted to have faith in him—in us—I couldn't make myself forget all the times in our lives he'd chosen the path of least resistance. Sure, he liked to pretend he was tough and didn't care what anyone thought about his life choices, but it all went out the window when Frankie opened his damn mouth. "If you've got something to say, say it. I know you're probably pissed at Max and me for handling things the way we did, but you really didn't leave us any choice after you were caught walking around with your junk hanging out."
"Oh, so this is all my fault?" I spat out. "If you didn't insist on an open-door policy with our family, maybe Frankie would've thought to knock before walking intoourhome. I didn't realize there was a dress code I was supposed to follow. You sure as hell haven't seemed to mind me walking between the bathroom and the bedroom without anything on for the past few months. And that'sexactlywhat I was doing, for your information. It's not as if I was down on my knees blowing Max while he prepared breakfast for us."
"But if you knew Frankie was coming over, you should've thought about that," he scolded me. Tony's grip around the steering wheel tightened to the point his knuckles turned white.
"That's enough!" Max barked out. He made a slicing motion through the air with his hand. "It's been a long, shitty day for everyone, and I think both of you need to drop this until you're thinking clearly."
"I'm plenty clear-headed," Tony protested. "And I'm pissed that on top of dealing with Mama collapsing at work and me freaking out she was going to die before the ambulance got there to help her, when I called to beg the two of you to meet me at the hospital because I was already crumbling under the pressure that had been hoisted on me, another bomb was dropped on me. The whole fucking time I'm sitting there waiting for someone, anyone, to tell me Mama's going to be okay, I'm losing my goddamn mind wondering if you and Frankie went to blows before you could set him straight—"
"Tony, I get it. I fucked up, okay?" I said just to get him to stop. We could throw blame back and forth all night, but Max was right, it wasn't going to change what was done. "I didn't count on him being early, and I didn't handle it well when he started asking questions. All I knew was I couldn't let him think less of Max because of me. I didn't want him seeing you as weak because he thought Max was cheating on you in your own home. I'm sorry if I started all this, but I'mnotsorry the truth is out there. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I'm not sure how much longer I could've gone on pretending to be the last brother who was happy for everyone else. Eventually, I would've snapped when one of our well-meaning brothers or their boyfriends asked me when I planned to settle down. God, I'm so sick of that question. I'm sick of the lies."
"We all knew going into this it wasn't going to be easy," Max reminded us, his voice calm and steady. He placed his right hand on Tony's thigh and reached back to mine with his left. "Even before I fell in love with both of you, I knew you were special, not only to me but to one another. Ineverwanted to come between the two of your or you and your family.Never.So maybe I'm the selfish one because even though I knew this might happen, I let it. I let my dick and my heart do the thinking instead of my brain. And Enzo, Tony and I both owe you an apology. It wasn't fair of us to walk around like nothing had changed when the truth is you changedeverything."
