"Yeah, I'd call out if I could, but—"
"Believe me, I get it." If Freddie was upset by the bomb Frankie had dropped in the room, he didn't show it. "You've been a huge help today."
"I haven't done anything, really."
"You got Enzo here, calmed Tony down because I know he had to be losing his mind by the time he got to the hospital, and you brought us caffeine. That's not nothing," Freddie pointed out, still ignoring the elephant in the room. I looked around, relieved everyone had gotten bored with our group once they realized it wasn't about to turn into a live episode of Jerry Springer. "Let me talk to Matteo and Levi then I'll walk out with you."
Today had been a harsh reminder of how fragile life could be which was why no matter how pissed off I was with Frankie, I didn't feel right leaving without talking to him. After all, unless I was mistaken, his anger was all on my behalf. He worried about me even though I'd told him repeatedly that he didn't have to. And I was still curious about Max's comments about everyone having secrets, but that was another one of those things that'd have to be filed away for sometime in the future, if ever. Unlike my brother, I was okay with some things staying private.
I waited until Frankie was off the phone and cautiously approached him. He drew back as I approached, stuffing his hands in his pockets. His mouth was still drawn into a frown, but he wasn't looking at me with the same level of disgust he'd shown earlier. "You mind if we step outside for a minute?"
"Yeah, sure." His voice was shaky, his words clipped. He turned slowly, leaving me to wonder if he was about to change his mind. I took the lead, holding the door for him. After a short walk, we found an empty comfort room and ducked inside. Before I could finish putting together what I wanted to say to Frankie that wouldn't make the situation worse, he spoke. "Look, I shouldn't have said what I did out there. Even though I'm pissed at you guys for keeping this from us, it wasn't my place to tell anyone. If you'd justsaid somethingnone of this would've happened."
I huffed out a deep breath, annoyed that he'd managed to take the start of an apology and turn it around to be my fault. I pushed off the wall, stepping into his personal space. "Have you considered maybe we hadn't told you what's going on because we were worried this was how you were going to react? We don't exactly have a conventional relationship, and we knew it would be hard for you guys to accept. You mean the world to us,allof us, and the idea that you'd think we were disgusting or that you'd think less of us was something we didn't want to face while we were still trying to figure out whatuslooked like."
"And do you know that now?" Frankie asked, his tone softening.
"We're getting there," I admitted. "Believe it or not, it hasn't always been easy for us to be comfortable with what's happening. Me and Enzo never planned to fall in love with the same guy, and I will guarantee you Max didn't start fucking around with me because he knew he'd get a two-for-one deal. That's not how it works. But sometimes, you have to take what's right in front of you and run with it."
"What happens if one of you decides you don't want to be with him anymore?" Frankie asked.
I hesitated, trying to keep my breathing even. Despite having a huge piece of our secret out in the open now, there was still a piece we were keeping to ourselves, and that was the part that kept me up at night. I loved the hell out of Enzo, and I worried constantly he'd wake up one morning hit with a wave of guilt over what we were doing, and it would be the end of the two most important relationships in my life. I rubbed at my chest, trying to ease the overwhelming ache over the thought of living without both of them in my life.
Max's words from one quiet night at home replayed in my mind. His response was perfect. "Nothing in life is guaranteed, but it's a risk we've decided to take anyway. If we live waiting for everything to fall apart, eventually it will. But if we keep talking when things get to us, we stand just as much chance of everything working out. Someday, I hope you'll be able to accept that both of us love Max, and he loves both of us. It's not conventional, but I think our family has proven, more than once, that life doesn't always make sense."
"And you're sure Enzo's as cool with all this as you seem?" Frankie asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "He's always been a go with the flow guy, but as far as I know, shit like being in a relationship with a guy is new to him. He's not going to freak out, is he?"
I pursed my lips to keep from laughing. Freakingoutwasn't a problem for Enzo unless that was some sort of euphemism for wanting to test what sort of sweaty, naked mischief he could get into. I shook my head. "Nah, you don't give him enough credit. He's good. Are we?"
"We're getting there," Frankie reassured me. "Now, you'd probably better get out there for the Freddie inquisition. I really am sorry for blurting it out like that. Max was right; we all have secrets, and it's not cool to rat someone out just because you're in shock after finding your brother wandering around naked with his twin's boyfriend."
He'd opened the door. I could so easily ask what skeletons were hiding in his closet, but I wouldn't. It wouldn't change anything, and if Frankie wanted us to know, he'd tell us. Frankie drew me in for a quick hug and a slap to the back.
"How fucked up is it that you lost your shit when you found out about us, but Freddie seemed totally cool?" I asked as we wandered back to the waiting room.
"I blame Peter," Frankie deadpanned. "Freddie's so chill lately you'd think someone was slipping something into his morning coffee."
"Stranger things have happened," I observed.
"You mean like your friend being in a three-way relationship with two of your brothers?"
"Touché."
The air in the room was tense and still as we opened the doors to the waiting room. Only when they saw neither of us was bloody or bruised did our family let out a collective sigh of relief. At some point, I seriously needed this emotional roller coaster to pull into the station.
Chapter Seventeen
Enzo
"Doyou think they're going to kill one another?" I asked, curling into Max's side as we watched Frankie and Tony disappear into a corridor off the emergency room waiting area. I wiggled around, trying to get comfortable, but everything that had happened in the past few hours had me restless. My chest ached from the stress of worrying about Mama, feeling guilty our drama was taking the focus off her.
"They'll be fine," Freddie answered firmly. I risked a glance in his direction, taken aback by his sad smile. He sat down next to us and gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. "The three of you managed to give all of us a shock today, and it's going to take Frankie some time to come around. He'll deny it, but he worries about all of us. He wants us to be happy, but he's not always the best at remembering we're grown men who know what we need."
"We didn't plan this," I told him, uncertain whether I was talking about them finding out the way they did or our relationship in general. It felt important someone understand this wasn't a casual fling, and since Freddie was the one sitting down to really hear me, I hoped he'd listen.
"I know you didn't." I was grateful he stared into the distance rather than looking at us. I couldn't shake the fear something I'd say would repulse him. "It stings that you didn't tell us what was going on sooner, but I do understand why you didn't. It's a lot to take in. It's not conventional by a long shot, but as long as the three of you find a way to make it work for you, I suppose what the rest of us think doesn't matter."
"You're wrong about that," Max interjected. "Tony and Enzo love all of you, and the thought of any of you turning them away because of me is unacceptable. I think all of us worry about what we'll do if that happens because I refuse to be the man who drives a wedge between them and the rest of you."
