“Yeah.” Meela smiles, blushing a bright red. “I want to please him, and to do that, I have to understand how our bodies fit together.”
“Yuck. I bet his balls sag to his ankles,” I say, making a show of gagging.
“Shut up, whore.” She chuckles, lightly punching me on the arm. “No one talks shit about my future man but me.”
She’s a glutton for punishment. Yeah, she told me she’s in love with Jigsaw, but I figured it was just a schoolgirl crush. Her obsession with him is off the Richter scale. That man is going to eat her alive.
Meela stands and offers me a hand. “Come on. Chicken strips are on the menu today, and you don’t want to miss that. Nothing does a body good like processed food.” She smacks her lips dramatically. “Yum.”
“Why didn’t you say so? I love processed foods.” I say, letting her pull me to my feet.
Meela’s right, it’s pointless to jump to conclusions. I’m going to stuff my face with chicken strips and put the reason for my late period on the back burner.
I’m fucked.
Completely, utterly fucked.
I can’t be a mother.
I can’t even take care of myself.
“I can’t have this baby,” I cry, sobs racking my body. “I just can’t. He’s a monster.”
The four positive tests on the nightstand mock me as my world turns upside down.
“And you don’t have to.” I feel a dip in themattress as Meela sits beside me. “There’s another option,” she adds, rubbing my back in comfort. “You can terminate the pregnancy.”
I turn to look at her. “Abortion?” I shake my head. “I couldn’t do that.”
I couldn’t live with myself. My unborn child is innocent in all this. Doesn’t he or she deserve a chance to live? Despite how fucked my life has been, I’m happy to be alive, to wake up every day in the land of the living.
“Maybe Sandman will be a good father,” Leah remarks, joining us on the bed. “Maybe having a baby will change him for the better.”
“And maybe I’ll win the lottery next week,” Meela retorts. “Maybes don’t mean shit, Leah.” Meela removes an errant passion twist from my damp cheek and tucks it behind my ear. “Do you really want to be tied to Sandman for the rest of your life? Think long and hard about that. Either way, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
“Me too,” Leah says. “Your body, your choice.”
Sandman swore to keep me prisoner forever, but I was hoping he would tire of me one day and let me go. I know with absolute certainty that if I have this baby—our baby—that hope is lost. I’ll be his until my dying breath. My stomach twists into knots at the mere thought. He doesn’t view me as a human being with feelings. I’m nothing more than an inanimate object to be used and abused for his sick enjoyment.
Just a few short months ago, my plan was to go to college and finally escape my tyrannical mother. Freedom was within arm’s reach. Now I have a new warden, and this one is ten times worse. No, I can’t let this happen. I’ve been a puppet since birth. I deserve to follow my dreams and live my life on my terms for once.
I sit up against the headboard. “I’m going to—”
There’s a light knock on Meela’s bedroom door before it’s pushed open just enough for Tulip to poke her head inside. “Hey, girlies. I hope everyone’s hungry. I ordered some pepperoni pizzas and a couple of garden salads.”
“Boundaries,” Meela snaps at her. “I didn’t tell you to come in.”
“I’m sorry,” Tulip says, her smile swiftly dissipating. “I’ll give a shout when the food gets here.” Just as she’s about to close the door, her gaze lands on my face. “Zilphia, are you okay?”
“She’s fine,” Meela huffs, rolling her eyes. “Can you please go now? You’re killing our vibe.”
“You don’t have to be mean,” she admonishes, her voice cracking the slightest bit. “I just want to be your friend.”
“Then stop being such a mom and be my sister.”
“It’s my job to worry about you, Meela,” Tulip counters in exasperation. “I know the rift between us is about Jigsaw. This obsession you have with him has to stop. He’s not a good man.”
“I love him!” she shouts, jumping to her feet. “Why can’t you understand that?”
