“I’m just having a bad day,” I cut in, hoping to derail their argument. “Thanks for ordering dinner.”
“Yeah, thanks so much,” Leah chimes in. “I’m starving.”
Tulip nods, then shoots her sister a disapproving glare before pulling the door shut with a little more force than necessary.
“Ugh, I’m so sick of her self-righteous bullshit!” Meela exclaims, plopping back down on the bed. “Excuse my family drama. What were you saying?”
“I’m going to get an abortion.”
“Are you sure?” Leah asks. “You don’t want to think about it first?”
“No, I’ve made up my mind,” I say with false confidence. “I need to go somewhere far, at least two hours from Kent.” Sandman might be on the same page about ending the pregnancy, but then again, he might not be. I can’t chance him finding out.
“Okay. I’ll help you find a place,” Meela offers. “You want to schedule it for this weekend?”
“Too risky. I’m always being watched.” I rub my tired eyes. “I have to get it done during school hours.”
Meela pulls off her curly, turquoise-colored wig and tosses it onto the nightstand. “What’s the plan?”
Meela reaches over and opens the car door as soon as she sees me. “Hey,” I mumble, sliding into the passenger seat and strapping on my seatbelt.
“Hey,” she replies, her gaze roaming over my face. “How are you?”
“Not good,” I answer truthfully. “I feel like the worst person in the world.”
My emotions are all over the place. Today is the day. I got dressed and went to school like normal, pretending like my heart wasn’t breaking. Between Sandman and my nerves, I only got about three hours of sleep last night. If he noticed I wasn’t my usual self, he didn’t say anything. By the time he left, I was exhausted and sore, but the pain was very much welcomed. It took my mind off what’s to come, however briefly.
Meela angles her body toward me. “Listen to me. You’re not the first girl to get an abortion, and you won’t be the last, but it’s not too late to change your mind. We can play hooky at the mall and indulge in a little retail therapy instead.”
“I need to do this,” I say for my own benefit more than hers. “I need to take control of my life.”
“Okay, but the moment you start having second thoughts, just say the word and we’re out of there.” After my nod of confirmation, Meela puts the car in drive and begins the two-hour journey.
So far, everything is going according to plan. Still, I keep my head on a swivel, terrified Sandman’s henchmen are going to pop up out of nowhere.There’s no way they’d recognize me.Heck, I barely recognize myself in this getup. The oversized hoodie, sweatpants, Crocs, sunglasses, and pixie-cut wig were provided by the girl in the driver’s seat. I changed into the disguise after breakfast and made my getaway seconds before the late bell rang for homeroom. Leah stayed behind to explain our absence if necessary.
“Thanks for letting me borrow the rest of the money. I’ll pay you back on Friday.”
“No problem.”
My goal was to save money—that’s the only reason I got a job. But that plan went to hell in a handbasket with my first paycheck. I had to pay Leah and my grandmother back. Then my egg donor had her hand out—so did my aunt. After grabbing some essentials, there wasn’t much left. The woman who birthed me is my biggest expense, taking nearly half my paycheck. I’ll be happy when she finally lands that rich husband. That’s for damn sure.
I sigh. Nothing in my life is going the way it was supposed to.
I rummage through my purse in search of my favorite lip gloss. “Shit.”
“What?” Meela questions, glancing over at me.
“My wallet,” I explain, shaking my head. “I must’ve left it in my other purse.” Maybe this is a sign for me not to go. Should I not go? I feel so torn.
“No biggie.” She turns right instead of keeping straight toward the highway. “I’ll swing by your house.”
“Okay. I don’t know how I forgot it.”
At least no one will be home except my mother, and she’s more than likely still asleep. She won’t bother me in any case sinceit’s not payday. Keith left for work hours ago, and my grandmother has a doctor’s appointment, so she and my aunt won’t be home.
“You have a lot on your mind.”
I stare out the window, seeing nothing, blinking back the tears threatening to spill free. A few succeed despite my best efforts. I’m dying inside. I want to curse God, curse the universe, curse fate—curse whoever or whatever allowed this to happen.The lie you told allowed this to happen.
