“Today, we want you to get up and try walking farther than the bathroom. I’d like to see you walk to the NICU if you can manage it. Physical therapy will be up again after lunch and I’m going to recommend that to them. Don’t push yourself and risk getting injured more than you already are,” the doctor states as he leans over me to check the wounds that have mainly healed. “Everything is healing nicely and I don’t believe you’ll have any scars. I’m going to take off the bandage on your headand I’d like to leave it off for the day. I don’t believe it will open up again and there’s no reason to keep it bandaged constantly.”
“Sounds good to me. Honestly, the tape bothers me and makes it itch more than normal so that’s a relief to hear. Today I’ll be able to go in and see my son?” I question the two doctors in front of me.
“Yes. The nurses already know you’ll be in after lunch and Axel hasn’t left his side since he walked in there this morning. You might be able to get there in time for a feeding,” Dr. Matthews answers me. “I’m going to check your incision while I’m in here, but I think it’s getting better now that we’ve stopped using the wash the hospital has. Did your family bring in yours from home?”
“Yeah. Mrs. Coleson has been helping me get cleaned up with it. When do you think I can take a full shower?” I ask, needing one more than I ever have in my life before.
“I’ll clear you for a shower today,” Dr. Matthews says with a soft smile on her face because it’s the same question I’ve asked since waking up. “You are not to be in the bathroom alone and will need help. There’s a shower chair in there already. Make use of it.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes for a shower. I’d prefer to take one before going to the NICU. I don’t want to possibly take anything in there with me,” I say as there’s a light tap on my door before Janessa pokes her head inside. “Perfect timing!”
“Oh yeah? What’s going on?” she asks me, walking in and standing across from the doctors.
“I can take a shower but I need someone in the bathroom with me,” I tell her, my eyes holding a look of pleading because I’m so ready to feel the hot water hit my body and wash away the filth of the hospital and the accident.
“I’ll help however you need, Sheridan. Jolene and I already packed a bag with clothes for you. Nothing that will aggravate your wounds. We weren’t sure of what tops to get so I’ll admit most of those are Axel’s,” she says, a bright smile on her face as she looks at me.
I can’t help but laugh. It won’t be the first time I’ve worn one of Axel’s shirts. In the past I wore them on a regular basis. Honestly, I still have a hoodie or two that belong to him. Well, they used to belong to him. I claimed them as mine a long time ago.
I’ve gotten to know Janessa since being in the hospital and she’s an amazing woman. Between Jolene and her, they’ve ensured I have everything I could want or need since the guys are so damn clueless. Janessa went out and bought me brand new lotion, Chapstick, and a few other things none of the guys thought of me needing. Especially since we had to get permission for the lotion from Dr. Matthews. I see her becoming a very close friend and fitting right in with Shelly too.
Shelly hasn’t been able to come see me yet. She’s getting through some classes she hasn’t been able to miss and then taking time off from school so she can be here with me. I have talked to her a few times every single day since I woke up and my dad and Axel were taking her calls before that. She’s so upset she can’t already be here, but I completely understand where she’s coming from. School is important and I don’t want her to risk her degree just to sit in a hospital all day long with me. I’d rather have her here when I’m home with the baby and on my own. Shelly won’t leave me alone and will camp out at my house with me.
“If you have any issues, ring for a nurse immediately. And make sure you don’t get the cast wet. I’ll have a nurse bring in something to wrap your arm in to protect the cast so we don’thave to put a new one on already,” the doctor I don’t remember the name of reminds us before leaving to go talk to the nurses.
“Still having some memory issues?” Dr. Matthews asks me when I finally look away from the door closing.
“Not really. I didn’t really lose anything but it’s like there’s a haze that doesn’t always allow me to remember what’s been said to me. I can’t remember that doctor’s name for the life of me,” I tell her honestly because I don’t want to hide anything because it might be important and something I need to have checked.
“I’ll get with neurology and have a doctor come up to see you. There isn’t anything that’s been seen on the images after the accident. It’s more than likely something that will fade with time as the injury to your head heals. We’ll make sure it’s nothing more though. If you need me, I’m a phone call away,” Dr. Matthews says before leaving Janessa and me in the room alone.
***
Janessa helped me shower and get my hair washed. She washed it twice and I feel better than I imagined I would. Jolene brushed my hair and braided it after I was dressed. My dad got my favorite food and made sure I ate it all before he even started eating his food. It’s what Axel and he have been doing since I woke up. They’re both ready to hand over their food if I’m not full. Now, I’m waiting for physical therapy to get here so I can walk to the NICU. I’m more than ready to see and hold my son for the first time.
All I know about him is that he’s still on oxygen during the night. During the day he doesn’t need it as much. The heart monitor they had on him in the beginning has been taken off and he doesn’t seem to have any issues eating. I’ve heard Axel feeds him as often as possible during visiting hours and has done skin-to-skin with our boy every single day as he bonds with him. The need to see my son has been so bad, my dad has caught me more than once trying to get out of bed to head there on my own. I’m always stopped, but I still try to sneak away.
“Sheridan, I’m Nora, your physical therapist for the day. I hear we’re going to be taking a walk to the NICU today,” a young woman greets me with a large smile on her face.
“I’m ready to get going. Janessa, did anyone grab my slippers?” I ask, already moving the blankets off of me so I can get out of bed.
“We got them.”
Janessa grabs my slippers and helps me get them on before Nora helps me get out of bed. She asks Janessa to follow along with a wheelchair in case I’m not ready to make it to the NICU. Plus, I’ll need it to get back when I’m ready to leave my son. I don’t plan on leaving there until they kick me out.
The three of us leave my room with my dad following behind. He’s been to see his grandson a few times, but most of his time has been spent at my side. When I ask him why he doesn’t want to see his grandchild, his response is always the same—there’s more than enough time to spend with him when he’s out of the NICU and out of danger. My dad is simply scared something will happen. So far, Axel, Jolene, and Janessa are the only three who have actually held him and gone inside. Everyone else stands outside and looks in through the glass. The staff learned early on to keep Axel and our son in a room that’s easily visible through the window. At least that’s what I’ve been told by Jolene as she laughed hysterically about the men and their protective nature.
We get to the NICU extremely slowly, but I manage to walk all the way there with very little assistance from Nora. Shekeeps her hands close to my body and Janessa remains close with the wheelchair. When Hammer and the rest of the guys saw us walk up, they all started cheering like crazy. None of them got close to us or stopped me from getting inside. They all know how crazy I’ve been going not being able to see my son.
A nurse greets me just inside the door. She helps me wash my hand and get gowned up before leading me into the room where I find Axel rocking our son while feeding him.
“Little Fairy, you’re here,” Axel whispers as he immediately stands from the chair and nods with his head for me to take his seat. “I’ll let you finish feedin’ him.”
I get comfortable in the rocking chair and Axel hands me our son. I awkwardly burp him before taking the bottle from Axel and feeding him the rest of the formula. While I was burping him, Axel placed a pillow in my lap so the baby isn’t resting directly on my cast. Neither one of us says a word as I take in every single inch of the little boy in my arms. He’s already got a head full of dark hair. His little eyes are closed so I can’t see what color they are but Janessa swears they’re violet like mine. I count every little finger and toe after Axel helps me uncover him so I can look at my son for the first time. Tears fill my eyes because I’m holding the most perfect little person I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing. He’s already the perfect combination of Axel and me and I hope that doesn’t change as he grows up.
“We need to talk about a few things, Little Fairy,” Axel says as I gently rock our son to sleep once he’s done eating and has been changed. Never thought I’d see Axel change a diaper, but he’s quick at it.
“I know. The first thing that needs to be done is we need to choose a name for our little one,” I say, looking up at the man I’ve loved for so damn long.
