What I can see on the left side of her body where they have her arm out straight are several cuts and bruises already forming on her pale skin. Blood coats her skin in several areas. Her wrist is slightly swollen and that’s not even the one that was fractured. With each step closer to her, I take in more and more of her bruised and beaten body. On the left side of her neck there’s already a nasty bruise forming with a straight line indicating the seatbelt dug into the sensitive skin there. At the top of the gown, I glimpse another bruise on her previously flawless skin. My attention moves to her outstretched right arm and I find a brace surrounding her wrist until they can get a cast put on her. Lastly, my attention moves to her face. There are several small cuts on the left side of her face along with a bloodied bandage on her temple. Right now, she looks smaller and more fragile than I’ve ever seen her before. Sheridan is going to be in pain when she wakes up.
“Axel, take a seat on the stool close to Sheridan’s head. I’ll be numbing the area I need so she’ll be able to wake up on her own if it’s going to happen. We don’t honestly know when she’ll wake up again. It’s imperative you keep her calm if she wakes up during the procedure,” Dr. Matthews informs me as I take my seat and try to find a place I can rest my hand on Sheridan’s body. “You can touch her arm. Just be mindful of the cuts on her skin. They’ll be cleaned once she’s moved to the recovery room.”
Tears fill my eyes as I rest the tips of my fingers on Sheridan’s soft, smooth skin that’s now covered in marks. The last thing I want to do is hurt her more than she’s already hurting. That’s when a thought hits me as I realize she’s got a neck brace on that I saw the damage from the seatbelt through.
“Dr. Matthews, has anythin’ been said about her back? Has she suffered any further damage from this accident?” I question the doctor as staff move around the room doing what they have to for my woman and son.
“We don’t know if there’s been any new injuries to her back at this point. I’ll talk to the admitting doctor when this is done and make sure he knows of her previous injury. I’m sure he’ll want to do some imaging to get the best indication possible. The second I know anything, I’ll let you know. We’re almost ready to begin delivering your son,” she answers me as the chaos of the room slows down and I turn my attention back to Sheridan. She’s my entire focus right now and that’s not going to change until our son is delivered. Then, my attention will be divided between her and our son.
***
Once Dr. Matthews started to cut Sheridan open, everything moved fast. Our son was delivered in a matter of minutes. Hearing his loud, strong cry started to heal my shattered heart in ways I didn’t know was possible. Sheridan never once woke up during the entire procedure. Fear continues to fill me knowing she should be awake and with me to hear our son’s first cry. Instead, it’s like she’s locked in her own body and mind and I don’t know if she’ll wake up anytime soon. Our son and I need her though.
The baby was taken to the NICU shortly after he was delivered. He needed to be put on oxygen and they wanted to monitor him closely because of the accident and quick delivery.Plus, he was born a little early. My parents, Knuckles, and Janessa have gone to the NICU to keep a close eye on our son. Mr. Russell has joined me in the recovery room with Sheridan. Dr. Matthews stayed true to her word and talked to the admitting doctor about Sheridan’s previous back injury and the surgery she’s already had to have to repair that damage. He’s ordered testing to see if any damage has been done to the area in question and went to review the previous injury.
“She’ll be okay, Axel,” Mr. Russell says when we’re finally left alone in the recovery room with Sheridan. “She’s too stubborn and wants to meet her son too bad for her to be anything other than okay.”
“I’m trying to be positive about this, I really am. It’s just not workin’ so good right now. Why hasn’t she woken up yet?” I ask him, knowing he won’t have an answer when the doctor’s taking care of Sheridan don’t have a clue when she’ll wake up.
“She’ll wake up when she’s ready, Axel. Right now, she needs some rest and that’s the best thing for her. We won’t leave her side. Your family are with the baby so if anything happens, you’ll know immediately. For now, it’s a waiting game and everything is on Sheridan’s time,” he says, reaching out and carefully brushing a few strands of Sheridan’s hair off of her forehead.
I take the tips of her fingers in my hand and hold them lightly as I keep my eyes locked on the woman laying in front of me. I’m not sure how much time passes before I feel a slight twitch of her fingers against my own. My eyes immediately dart up to her face where I see her nose twitch a little bit.
“Axel,” Sheridan whispers, her voice a broken mess.
“I’m here, Little Fairy,” I whisper in response as I lean down and press my lips gently against the skin of her fingers. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
There’s no other movement from Sheridan as she seems to settle once again. Mr. Russell and I remain in our seats with our eyes on the woman between us until she’s moved back to her room on the maternity ward. The doctors are happy that she whispered my name and moved her fingers a little bit. They feel it means she won’t be unconscious for much longer, but it really all depends.
Mr. Russell convinces me after we’re back in Sheridan’s regular room to go see our son in the NICU. It’s only because he promises not to leave her side that I go see my son for a while. He’s in one of those clear bassinet things getting oxygen and something attached to his chest. Our boy is smaller than some of the babies surrounding him and bigger than others. My mom stands in front of him and stares through the large picture window with tears streaming down her face as my dad holds her close. I take my place directly at her side and my eyes lock in on the baby boy I want to protect from everything around him.
“He’s a fighter,” my dad says quietly as Knuckles steps up behind me like a shield and source of strength all at the same time. “He’ll be out of here before you know it. How’s Sheridan?”
“She whispered my name and moved her fingers a little bit when she was in the recovery room. They’re going to do tests to see if more damage has been done to her back from the accident. She still hasn’t woken up though,” I answer him without taking my eyes off my son.
“She’ll wake up when she’s ready. It might not be bad that she’s still unconscious at this point,” my mom says, her voice almost a whisper. “She’ll be able to avoid most of the pain the longer she remains asleep.”
“I know. I keep tryin’ to tell myself things like that,” I say in a weak voice. “I can’t take this from either one of them. There’s no way I can truly protect them from anythin’ they’re goin’ through right now. And Sheridan doesn’t know how much I truly love her and want her to be mine. We never had the talk before this happened.”
“She knows, Son,” my dad says as I let the tears finally fall without holding back. Surrounded by my parents and cousin, I allow myself to break.
For several hours I rotate between Sheridan’s room and standing outside the window of the NICU. I’m scared to go inside and be alone with my son and have been working up the nerve to actually go be with him. This is one of the many reasons why I need Sheridan here with me. She wouldn’t let me hide away from our son and the fear of hurting him more just from standing close to him. Finally, I go inside and am led to a small room where they wheel my son into. I’m allowed to hold him against my chest for some skin-to-skin contact and feed him a bottle. For the first time in my life there’s no noise or chaos surrounding me. I’m completely content and surrounded by peace as I hold my son in my arms and feel his little weight against me. There’s no better feeling in the world than this right here. .The only thing that would make it better would be Sheridan at my side as we both take care of our boy. Our son who doesn’t even have a name yet because I won’t name him without her.
Chapter Twelve
Sheridan
TWO DAMN WEEKS. That’s how long I’ve been in the hospital so far. I’ve only been awake and really alert for a little over a week of that time though. Other than a few movements of my fingers and some whispered words, I really didn’t wake up for anything right after our son was delivered. My dad and Axel were scared more than anyone else, but I constantly had people in my room so I was never alone. Mainly when my dad had to leave for any reason and Axel was in the NICU with our son. Hammer and Jolene have been showing me pictures of my son when they visit me. Axel hasn’t taken any because he’s so completely focused on our boy. I’ve been kept on the maternity floor because of the baby and the fact that I had the cesarean section. Dr. Matthews was worried about an infection at one point. Thankfully, it didn’t amount to anything other than my skin becoming irritated. We’re not sure how it happened other than the possibility of the wash they were using to clean my body with.
Today, I’m alone in my room for the first time since I’ve been here and awake. My dad went to get the food we ordered and Axel is in the NICU. I’m honestly happy to be completely alone and not having someone watch over me. Even if it’s only one person next to my bed, I’ve had a constant rotation of doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff. I’ve had imaging done on my body, a cast put on my arm for my wrist, and all of mywounds checked repeatedly. Thankfully, I haven’t had to deal with not being able to eat any longer. I’ve been eating everything I can get my hands on. Axel and his mom have made sure my meals are healthy with only a few snacks thrown in when I get a craving for something sweet. I’ve honestly been spoiled with all the food that’s been brought in for me. I have yet to eat anything from the hospital.
“Sheridan, how are you feeling today?” Dr. Matthews asks as she enters my room with another doctor that’s been looking after me since I woke up.
“Like I was hit by a truck. It’s better than it has been. More of an ache bordering on pain that won’t go away. It is manageable though,” I answer her honestly as they step up next to my bed.
“Good. We’ve got the latest images for your back and I’m happy to say there was no further damage done to your spine. There is still some swelling, but that could be for a number of reasons,” the second doctor informs me as I try to remember his name to no avail.
“That’s a relief. I really didn’t want to have another surgery on my back. What I’ve already had done was more than enough to last a lifetime,” I say, trying to bring some humor into this situation.
