This earns a round of laughter, and I’m happy for Avery because she hasn’t introduced a special someone to her friends in a long time.
“What will you do?”Justine, always ready to get serious again, asks me.“Will you retire?”
“I’m a bit young to do nothing, but I don’t know yet.”
“Maybe you should come by the shelter sometime,” Sienna says.“There are plenty of mental health issues to deal with there.”
“Babe.”Justine gives Sienna a look, then turns back to me.“I wasn’t asking you to volunteer,” she says.“I’m genuinely curious.”
“It hasn’t been the most well-considered decision I made in my life.”I can be honest among Avery’s friends.“I’ll take some time and see what I come across.Whether I have a license to practice or not, there are many people in need of psychological help,” I repeat what I told myself the other night.I glance from Justine to Sienna and back.“But, of course, I will visit the shelter.”
“Thank you.”Justine’s tone is much warmer than before.
“You could consult on movies,” Kate says.
“I bet you could write a book,” Stella adds.“Or teach.”
I’m not sure my fall from professional grace makes me the most ideal candidate for a teaching position, but I happily let them brainstorm future careers for me.
“Is it the one-on-one relationship with a client that is the most satisfying to you?”Justine asks.
I nod slowly.“Yes, but not just the relationship.It’s the privilege of witnessing someone in their most unguarded state.When they’re not performing or pretending, but really trying to understand themselves better.”I take a beat.“It’s messy and hard, but there’s such beauty in the effort and in being allowed to see that up close.And in being part of such an important process for another human being.”
This time, Avery folds her arm around my neck.
“People tell me things they don’t tell another living soul.To build that kind of trust with someone is very special.”
“Don’t you ever get sick of people’s endless whining about themselves, though?”Sienna asks.Her father’s sudden death a few years ago, despite their distant relationship, completely destabilized her for a while.
“Never,” I say, shooting her a big, fat wink.“It’s the job.”And I love it, I don’t say out loud, because of Avery—although I will have to learn to also share this with her.Because I will miss my job.
“To Avery and Nic.”Sienna lifts up her glass again, although it’s empty this time.She stares into it ostentatiously.
“Hold on.”Avery grabs the bottle of champagne and fills Sienna’s glass to the absolute brim.
“Now I must drink before I toast you.”Sienna gingerly sips from her glass.“Okay, now I can say it.”She lifts her glass again.“To unlikely beginnings that turn into something wonderful.To owning our choices.And to love—however it finds us.”
No one makes a joke or deflects.We just let Sienna’s lovely words hang between us in the soft Los Angeles air for a moment.
Avery leans in closer.“I think they like you, Dr.Cougar,” she whispers loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Thank fuck for that,” I say—in Lois’s honor—and clink my glass against hers.
Chapter35
Avery
I have a photo gallery in the stairwell of my house.Tonight, Nic has taken it upon herself to study it intently.She doesn’t ask me who’s who—although she may recognize a couple of famous faces.And Stella and Sienna, of course.
After she’s scoured the pictures like she’s in a museum studying important pieces of art, she joins me at the bottom of the stairs, and asks, “Who in these pictures are members of your family?”
“Depends what you mean by family,” I say.
“The people who raised you,” Nic says—her tone definitely more therapist than girlfriend.
“They’re not in these pictures,” I say.“This is more memories of me here, in LA.”
“Do you have any pictures of your family?”
