“Um, no.”
“Is there a reason for that?”Nic asks.
“Is this therapy all of a sudden?”I notice the edge in my voice I’m unable to suppress.
“No, Avery.I can ask you a perfectly reasonable question, can’t I?”
“You can, but it will always sound a bit like therapy to me.”I don’t feel like talking about my family.I’ll save that for a future session with Jan.I know just what to do to steer this mildly annoying conversation in a different direction.I get up and stand in front of Nic.We’re already at the bottom of the stairs.My bedroom is so close.
“I’m your girlfriend, and I’d like to get to know you better,” Nic says matter-of-factly.
I extend my hands, and she takes them in hers, but she doesn’t allow me to pull her up.
“My family is just… I don’t even know how to explain it.”
“Will you try?For me?”Nic looks up at me with her big brown eyes.
“Now?”I tug at her hands again.“Because I have something far better in mind for us than talking about my family.”I send her my most seductive smile.
“You can’t smile at me like that every time I try to start a more serious conversation.”
I drop her hands and heave a dramatic sigh.But I guess it’s my bad for never having had a serious relationship and then starting one with my therapist.
“We’re not close.”I shrug.“I make sure my mom is comfortable, and no longer has to worry about money.”
“Okay.”Nic pushes herself up, takes my hand, and leads me to the couch.“That’s very generous of you.”
“She’s my mother.It’s what you do.”
“Not necessarily,” Nic says.“Especially if you’re not close.”
“She took care of me when I was little; now I’m taking care of her.”
“It sounds so… transactional.”Nic tries to find my gaze, but I won’t let her.Because I’m not enjoying this.
“I guess it is.As I said before, we never talked about feelings.We were too busy trying to survive.”
“What about your father?”
“He left when I was little.I barely remember him.”I shake my head.“I’m not supporting him financially.Only my mom.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, babe,” Nic says.
“There’s no need to be sorry.I’m obviously fine.”
“If you say so.”I’m not sure I like Nic’s tone.
“What does that mean?”I ask.
“This is not therapy.I’m just trying to find out some things about you that partners know about each other.But we did meet in therapy.We had a few sessions.They haven’t been magically erased from my memory, so when you claim you’re fine, I’m pretty sure you’re not being honest with me—and yourself.”
“Oh, fuck.No.”I slowly shake my head.“I’m not doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“Being therapized by you under the guise of getting to know me better.”
“There is no guise,” Nic says, her voice infuriatingly calm.“This is what a relationship is like.You ask each other questions in order to get to know each other.”
