“I’ve never been much of a relationship type either,” Avery says.
“Until I told you to go see my shrink, bitch,” Sienna says.
Justine rolls her eyes at me.“I hate it when they call each other bitch,” she says to me.“I might be too old to get it, so I’ve just accepted it.”
“Avery calls me Dr.Cougar,” I say.
Justine laughs heartily at that.“We can’t deny that we’re a few years older.”
The other four launch into some banter of their own—the word ‘bitch’ flying around like it’s the world’s most exquisite term of endearment to address a friend with.Justine’s face tightens again when she looks at me.
“I assume you know what my work is?”she asks.
“Of course.”I nod.
“I work with teens and young adults who have been let down by the responsible adults in their lives in ways you can’t possibly imagine.”
“Sure.”Thirty years of being a therapist hasn’t exactly shown me the glory of humankind on a daily basis either.
“All cougar-jokes aside,” Justine says.“You and I are a lot older, but I witness every day how older does not necessarily equal wiser.”
I also have enough experience to clearly see the point Justine is trying to make.But I let her make it because, most of the time, that’s what my job is—or was.
“I know you didn’t take advantage of Avery.I wouldn’t be here if you had, but… that doesn’t mean I don’t have some questions about the ethics of it all.”
It’s different explaining this to someone in a friendly setting than to a sterile board—scarier.
“What I did was wrong, but I?—”
Avery, who appears to have been listening to our conversation, cuts me off.“It wasn’t wrong.Not from my point of view.”Her tone is sharp, like she’s more than ready to do battle for me.
“That’s because you got to sleep with your therapist,” Sienna says.I’m no longer sure she’s joking.Sienna is a former client and she has every right to be upset, but she’s also one of Avery’s closest friends.
“In a therapeutic context,” I say in my calm counselor voice.“It was and will always be wrong.But, obviously, it was also much more than that.In our case, it’s simply not as black-and-white.”
“It’s gray like a cougar, you mean?”Kate interjects.
“Our cougars are not gray,” Avery chimes in, letting me know that earlier chip has disappeared from her shoulder.
I glance at Justine, who does not strike me as the type of woman who gets an overly-priced Hollywood hair-dye job to eliminate the gray from her hair.Despite the life she’s had—of which I saw glimpses inGimme Shelter—barely any gray strands peek through her ash-blond hair.
“What I’m trying to say,” Kate continues.“Is that we’re all more than familiar with the gray areas of love—and life.”
“Well said, babe,” Stella says.“I will so have another baby with you.”
“I’m sorry for being such a bitch, bitch,” Sienna says to Avery.
“I totally get that you’re jealous I got to sleep with our shrink and you didn’t.”
“Oh, fuck.”Sienna turns to me.“Don’t you find her impossible to have a profound conversation with?”
Apart from our first few sessions, profound conversation isn’t really what Avery and I have excelled at during these first weeks of our relationship.
“She certainly has a knack for deflection, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”I put my hand on Avery’s back so she knows I’m not having a dig at her in front of her friends.
“You seem different,” Justine says, resting her gaze on Avery.
“I recommend therapy for everyone, although let’s not all start sleeping with our therapists.”Avery leans into my hand.
