“Give me your number and we’ll set it up.Let me know when you’re available.”
“Thank you, Derek.”He might not have any idea what a favor he’s doing me with this invitation.
“No need.”He nods at the room full of people behind me.“Now go.Enjoy your night.I loved you in the movie.”
“Thanks.”I look him in the eye.“See you soon.”
The rest of the night is a blur of compliments and Hollywood smiles—real and fake.
At first, the producers ofQueer Girl Summerdidn’t know what hit them when the press kept writing about our movie, when cinemas didn’t remove it from their programming, and the online buzz took on a life of its own.But now, they’re owning it.So much so that they’ve set up a photo shoot withVanity Fairat the Chateau Marmont.The accompanying interview is only next week—thank god, because after a week of press forDeadline for LoveI’m rather sick of the sound of my own voice.And I didn’t have therapy this week to vent and discuss my ambivalent relationship with fame.
Because of the movie we’re promoting, some of the poses we’re asked to adopt are very suggestive in nature.Sienna, who grew up in a showbiz family, is very adept at making a ‘no’ sound natural.If it weren’t for her, I’d probably have ended up kissing Stella for the camera.
During a break, while Sienna’s makeup is being reapplied, Stella beckons me to her.We sit on a lounge chair by the pool, out of earshot—I hope so, at least.
“I didn’t want to ask last night but, um, how’s it going?”she asks.“With, you know… the passing of time and such?”
“The passing of time is so fucking slow,” I say.I can’t tell Stella that Derek has invited me over to his house and that he knows.Secretly, but I will never admit this to any other living soul, I hope Derek has invited Nic as well and we can find a way out of the situation and create a magical happy ending.I live in Hollywood.Most of my dreams have already come true.Why not this one?Although I know why.
“It’s slow at first, but it will go quicker.”Stella tilts her head.“Has there been any contact?”
Nic did send me that email, but it hardly qualifies as contact.I shake my head.
“I’m not going to lie.”Stella shoots me a smile.“I’ve been going nuts trying to figure out who it might be.”
“What are you two whispering about?”Sienna sits down next to me.“Who are you talking about?”
My heart races.For many reasons, Nic’s name is on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t betray her trust in me.It’s the only thing we have left between us, although I might be looking at it from a too romantic point of view.Sooner rather than later, I’m going to need someone to help me unpack these feelings.Because of my dinner with Derek and Ben tomorrow, it’s easy not to tell my friends.
“Who Silke is dating,” I blurt out, even though I have no clue of the relationship status of our movie’s director.
“Silke?”Sienna draws up her perfect eyebrows.
The photographer’s assistant walks up to us.“Five minutes, ladies.”She holds my gaze for a split second.“Is that okay?”
“I’m ready to go now.”To take the heat off what we were talking about, and prevent Sienna from asking more questions, I even throw in a little smile.
“It’s okay.Take your time.”She smiles back boldly.“I need to get back.Set up the next shot.”
Predictably, both Stella and Sienna coo like we’re in high school.
“Rae is so fucking hot,” Stella says.“And she’s into you.”I should thank her, really, for following my lead—but I’m not interested in Rae, no matter how hot and into me she might be.
“At least Avery’s not completely oblivious to it this time,” Sienna says.“Therapy must really be helping.”
“Sure.”I try to make my voice sound as flat as possible.I hate not telling them the truth—especially because I really want to.
“Are you making a move?”Sienna asks.
“Not today.”I could—perhaps I should, even.But I can’t even consider it with Nic still so at the forefront of my mind.Especially now that I have a date with Derek, and a plan to go and see Nic.
“Ladies.”Rae calls us over.“Ready when you are.”
“I’m not sure when Avery will ever be ready,” Sienna whispers in my ear as we go back to work.
Chapter18
Nic
