Sebastian was in it for the long haul. The good times and the bad, as the saying went, and he didn’t need protection.But Owen ignored all his efforts to reassure him he understood the situation. Owen wanted to shield Sebastian from his pain instead of leaning on him. Worst of all, he really seemed to believe that he was holding Sebastian back and that he’d be better off without him.
Sebastian sighed. Once again, he hoped he’d done the right thing. He hoped the space he’d given Owen would give him time to think without having to curb his behaviour all the time. Owen wouldn’t have to always put on that brave face and pretend he wasn’t hurting, or that he wasn’t exhausted from the lack ofsleep. But he’d hopefully heed the wakeup call and realise that he didn’t have to go through this alone if he trusted in their relationship, trusted in Sebastian, and in the strength of their love.
A bird called outside. Sebastian looked to the open window where the curtain still blew in the gentle breeze. Through the greenery he glimpsed bright blue sky. It was a perfect afternoon and the outdoors beckoned. He hauled himself up from the couch. Fresh air and some exercise, that’s what he needed. Maybe after a couple of hours kayaking he’d be able to sleep well instead of tossing and turning as he worried about Owen, and stressing about the two of them and how things had reached this point.
Owen’s phone buzzed from the bedside table and his first response was to ignore it. It was nearly eleven at night—not that he was able to sleep anyway but he still didn’t fancy having a conversation with anyone. Only the thought it could be Sebastian had Owen reaching for it. The caller ID displayed Matt’s name and he was tempted to ignore the call. However, he knew Matt would only call back—as he’d done a few times already. He swiped the screen and fell back against the pillows.
“Matt.”
“Well, hello to you too.”
“Not in the mood, Matt. What can I do for you?”
“Is that any way to greet your friends?”
“Like I said, not in the mood.” Owen could hear Matt sigh on the other end of the call, but damn him, Owen wasn’t in the frame of mind to have a friendly conversation.
“Maybe it’s time youdidget in the mood.” Matt’s voice had bite, not that Owen blamed him. He just couldn’t get up the energy to snap back.
“What do you want, Matt? Why are you calling so late?”
“You wouldn’t answer your phone any other time. I wanted to see how you’re doing, but I guess I can tell that without you saying much of anything. Grumpy old bugger, aren’t you?” Matt’s words stung, but Owen remained silent. “You haven’t returned any of my calls…”
There was silence for a couple of moments until Owen felt tempted to fill it. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been busy.”
Matt snorted. “Busy? That’s bullshit. Not too busy to be able to fit in a phone call. Listen, I’ve been worried about you.”
Owen felt a little guilty. He plucked at the bedclothes, smoothing the sheet over his lap. “Sorry,” he said without much enthusiasm.
“How are you getting on with Sebastian not being there?” Matt cut straight to the chase.
“I’m fine,” Owen said automatically. “Hey, how’d you know about that?”
There was silence for a moment before Matt answered. “Seb called me. Told me a bit about what happened.”
“He asked you to check up on me, didn’t he?”
“Maybe. Listen, he’s just worried about you. I know you guys had an argument—”
“An argument? More like arguments plural.”
“He just wants what’s best for you, Owen.”
Owen’s chest grew tight. “I know.”
“I hope you don’t mind me butting in—”
“It’s a bit late to stop you now,” Owen said, the sarcasm heavy in his tone, “so go right ahead.”
Matt didn’t wait for further permission and showed no reluctance in saying what he wanted to say. “I’ve known you guyssince you first met. I don’t think I’ve ever met a couple more suited to each other. Fuck, I’m totally jealous of the two of you, but you’ve got to get it together, mate.”
Owen sat up straighter. “Now wait a minute. There are two sides to every story. How do you know I’m the one with the problem?”
Matt huffed into the phone. “You’re right. I’m sure things aren’t perfect, and you both have your faults, but even I’ve seen you pushing Sebastian away.”
“What?” Owen gripped the phone tightly, conscious his voice had risen an octave.
“I don’t think you even realise you’re doing it, or maybe you do, but for some reason you keep voicing doubts Seb doesn’t even have, sabotaging your own relationship. It’s like youwanthim to leave you.”
