“Okkaay.” He crossed to the dresser and opened the drawer. He fumbled with the contents as he willed his heart to slow down. Had Harvey sensed his feelings for Bo? Or maybe Harvey just wasn’t ready for everything that had happened between them. HyperOctane was knocking it out of the ballpark and there was so much opportunity open to him.I’m probably holding him back.
“I can see your thoughts spinning from over here. Turn around, Rav.”
He slowly turned and met Harvey’s eyes. Harvey patted the bed beside him. “Come over here so we can talk properly. There’s something I need to tell you.”
That little voice whispered in Ravi’s ear. He didn’t want to hear whatever it was Harvey was going to say. Just the idea of it sent a wave of nausea through him.Just when everything was going so well.Fuck, he’d been so happy lately. Still, knowing he couldn’t put it off, he forced himself across the room.
The mattress sunk slightly under his weight, echoing his equilibrium—he felt entirely off-balance.
“Why do I get a feeling this isn’t good news?” he finally said.
Harvey reached for his hand, his touch warm and familiar, but Ravi didn’t take comfort. He couldn’t, not until he knew what this was about.
“I’m not really sure how to put this.” Harvey squeezed his fingers, green eyes hooded, voice low. “I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. It’s about Bo.”
And there it was. Just like that Ravi’s heart plummeted. “I think I know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry, Harvey.”
Harvey frowned. “I don’t think so. I—”
Ravi didn’t let him finish. He wanted to lay his cards on the table—be the first one to air his feelings, not wait for Harvey to confront him with accusations. “He’s such a great guy, and at first I was worried that our past would come between us and I didn’t want the friendship to be destroyed. I mean you and me, and Bo and Parker, we’ve been friends since forever and if Bo and I didn’t get along then it would have tough for you and Parker. I wanted things to go back to how they were before Bo and I hooked up.” Ravi sighed. “But when he moved in while you guys were playing up the coast, it was just so natural to slip back into how things used to be—you know, hanging out after work, doing household stuff.”
“It’s okay, Rav,” Harvey said, obviously hearing the panic in his voice.
Ravi forced himself to take a deep breath. Harvey didn’t look pissed which had to mean something, right? “But I want you to know, nothing happened between us.” He’d never do the wrong thing by Harvey, and he needed him to know that.
“But you wanted it to,” Harvey said softly, not a question. A statement.
Ravi felt his face flushing. He wanted to deny it, but he couldn’t live with himself if he lied. He didn’t want to dishonour his true feelings for Bo, and Harvey deserved the truth. “I would never cheat on you.”
Harvey lips turned up in a gentle smile. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“Are you mad?” Ravi asked, then held his breath, not sure if he really wanted the answer.
“Mad that you still have feelings for Bo?”
Ravi nodded. “And that I didn’t say anything.”
“How can I be mad when I feel the same way?”
What?Ravi frowned as he considered Harvey’s words. “I… I don’t understand.”
“I love you, Rav. I love what we have together and don’t want it to end. What we have is special.” Harvey’s grip tightened as he spoke, as if he feared Ravi would pull away. “However, there’s something bubbling under the surface that I’ve tried to ignore, but it won’t go away. Maybe it’s the history between us all, or that things were left unresolved after that one night I spent with Bo, but there are feelings I can’t ignore.”
“What does that mean?” Rav asked. “What does it mean for us?”
“This doesn’t mean I love you any less, right?” Harvey said. “I’m just so mixed up. When I see the two of you together, it makes me so happy but at the same time it’s such a fucking mess.”
Rav knew exactly what he meant because he felt the same way. Everything was just better when both Harvey and Bo were there. “I know exactly what you mean. It’s confusing and complicated.”
“Does it have to be? A mess, I mean,” Harvey said, green eyes locked on Ravi’s.
Ravi raised a brow. “It’s pretty fucking messy if you ask me.”
“But what if—” Harvey stopped mid-sentence. He bit his lip, suddenly nervous, something Ravi didn’t see often.
“What?”
“You’ll think I’m crazy.”
