You said you wouldn’t let anything bad happen.
You said you would make them understand.
You said you would hug me so they’d know I was yours.
I’ve done everything you tell me to do, even when it makes me sad and feel bad.
But none of the things you promised me have happened.
I hate them.
I’m not happy.
I read alone.
I can’t play with kids at recess because they’ll laugh that I can’t throw.
My stomach hurts every day.
Bad stuff happens every day.
You haven’t done anything to make them not think I’m dumb.
You don’t hug me.
I wait for you at night to tuck me in like you do for Sebastian.
I was yours first.
“Okay, everyone. Pencils down.”
“Mrs. Sands! Mrs. Sands!” The girl across from me called for the teacher while I set my pencil down.
“What is it, Maria?”
“Patrick is crying,” the girl said.
Patrick is crying?
I looked at my teacher and could tell by her frown and narrowed eyebrows that Maria was telling the truth. Quickly, I looked down and pulled the sleeve of my shirt over my hand and wiped my face.
“Patrick, sweetie,” she said as she walked closer.
I rummaged in my desk for the blue bathroom pass. The teacher gave it to me so if I needed to go, I only needed to hold it up to be dismissed, rather than raise my hand and tell her. I found the pass, yanked it out from the under my reading book, and held it in the air.
“Do you need to use the restroom?”
I nodded.
“Okay, take some tissues and rinse your face off.”
I nodded and put the yarn necklace around my head and stood. The teacher held the tissue box toward me and I grabbed two before I headed to the bathroom.
I hurried to the bathroom, and I went into the stall and closed the door to wipe my face off. I felt terrible. I was tired, ached everywhere, and my stomach was killing me. The water was so cold when I washed my hands that it made me shiver.
I had to be sick.
But I wasn’t going to the nurse because they’d send me home.
