Your touch sent the chill away.
Your touch made the ache in my stomach not seem so bad.
Your touch gave me hope.
Please don’t stop talking to me.
I jumpedwhen a fist pounded on my bedroom door.
“Patrick!” Dad yelled.
“What?”
“Open this door right now!”
Fuck. Not now.
I closed my notebook and set it on the nightstand.
“Right the fuck now, Patrick!”
“Alright, I’m coming!” I yelled.
The fear of what was to come when I opened the door had me shaking. I covered the back of the hand that Hollis touched with my other hand. I prayed that Dad would be quick with whatever he wanted. I cautiously opened the door and took a step back. Dad stepped into my room, grabbed my sweatshirt where Hollis had, and whirled me around until my back slammed against the wall.
“Ow! What?” I grimaced and tried wrapping my arms across my midsection to shield my ribs from his hands. He slapped me across the face and then grabbed my sweatshirt again.
“What?What? You have the nerve to ask me what?”
“Excuse the hell out of me, Dad! I don’t know what the fuck you’re pissed about. Did Eli not pick up when you called? Is that why you’re here? To take it out on me?” I yelled seconds before I ended up on the floor.
There was no time at all for me to use my takedown move that Hollis and I had practiced. I had to pick where to shield myself from. His fists swung fast, and I automatically covered my face. My body naturally curled into a tight ball. The side of my face ended up warm and raw from being pressed into the carpet and jarred around.
“Where are your mother’s pills?”
“She’s not my mother!” I yelled back.
“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”
“Fuck you!”
“Where are the pills, Patrick?”
“Don’t know,” I said as I pictured Hollis flushing them down the toilet.
“Yeah, smart guy? Well, guess what?”
“What?” I took a chance and kicked him in the shin. He stumbled back and bent down to rub his shin. It gave me just enough time to stand up.
“You’re done with getting them. I don’t care anymore that you’re in agonizing pain, Patrick. I don’t care anymore.”
“You never fucking cared!” I yelled. At least, I started out yelling, but I ended up shaking with tears running down my face. “You never cared,” I managed to mumble.
Dad stared at me for a moment. Maybe it was a wake-up call for him. Maybe he wasn’t truly understanding what he had been allowing to happen or what he was doing himself. Maybe what I said meant something to him. Maybe he really did care. Maybe.
I clutched my stomach and stared at him. I was congested, and my mouth hung open so I could breathe. Both of us breathing hard, staring one another down. I held on to a glimmer of hope while I waited for him to say something. Anything. Anything but what he said.
“You’re such a waste,” he said. He shook his head at me and walked toward the door. Once he reached the doorway, he turned and said, “Don’t let me see your fucking repulsive face for the rest of the night. And don’t you ever ask me for another pill.” He looked down with a smile on his face and chuckled. I wanted to knock the smug grin off his face. “Enjoy those withdrawals, Patrick.”
