Twenty
Cassandra
Cassie stepped out of the bedroom as Adam reached the top of the stairs, causing him to jump. ‘I thought I heard Kim downstairs,’ she said, studying him apprehensively.
‘Christ, you nearly gave me a heart attack.’ Adam gathered himself. ‘I thought you’d taken a sleeping tablet?’
‘I decided against. They only make me feel worse in the morning. I did doze for a while, though.’ Cassie gave him a small smile. ‘Wasit Kim I heard?’
‘I, er…’ Adam’s gaze flicked towards her, and then away again. ‘Yes,’ he said eventually. ‘She’d been out shopping. She came to show us some baby clothes she’d bought.’
Cassie squinted at him. ‘What, today?’
Adam nodded, his gaze troubled. ‘She said she called you about meeting up. That Samuel seemed a bit off colour.’
‘She did.’ Cassie knitted her brow. ‘But… why would she have done that and then gone to the shops anyway?’
‘She went to the doctor’s surgery apparently. The nurse she saw confirmed Samuel was fine, so as she was out…’ He stopped, studying her carefully.
Cassie nodded. She hated this wariness between them. They’d never been like this before. They’d had arguments – what married couple didn’t? – real humdingers occasionally, but they’d never done this, stood on opposite sides of some invisible fence, avoiding the elephant in the room.
It made sense that Kim would go to the shops if she was already out, she supposed. She might have needed the nappies urgently, and the shops were only a stone’s throw from the surgery. ‘Did you not think to come and get me?’ she asked him.
‘No. I thought you were fast asleep. I didn’t want to disturb you.’
‘I see.’
‘Would you like some tea? Something stronger?’ He seemed not to know what to say, and Cassie felt an uneasiness spread through her. Why? Was she imagining it? Being neurotic, insecure? Having heard him confiding in Kim when she’d come out onto the landing after hearing voices downstairs, she couldn’t help feeling that the divide between them had widened another inch, that he’d slipped further away from her – and that Kim had moved closer.
Thinking she was losing her grip, imagining people conspiring against her, she pulled herself up. Adam didn’t have a disloyal bone in his body. If she pushed it, she would only appear suspicious.
‘No thanks. I’m actually quite sleepy, despite everything. I think I’ll just go back to bed.’
‘Right.’ Adam smiled, still looking uncomfortable. ‘I’ll just sort out a few outstanding invoices and then I’ll join you.’
Aware of the empty space in the bed, the time on her alarm clock slipping through one hour and then two, Cassie listened to the silence downstairs. Had he fallen asleep? she wondered. He was obviously reluctant to come up. Her heart, which had been sinking since she’d seen the bewilderment in his eyes at the police station, settled like ice in her chest. She hadn’t realised she’d drifted off until she was jolted awake by the raucous squeal of brakes, metal grinding mercilessly against metal. Her son’s petrified cry dying in his throat, as if he were right here in the room. Sweat pooling in the hollow of her neck, her chest pelting, she pulled herself up, squinting in the semi-dark. Adam still wasn’t here, and she needed him to be, holding her, drawing her close, spooning her with his firm body.
It was after three o’clock when he eventually did come, squeaking the bedroom door quietly open. Hearing him carefully undressing, Cassie kept her eyes closed, feigning sleep. She knew he would be as confused emotionally as she was, worried about what had gone on today, about her. Still, she didn’t think she could bear it if he knew she was awake and he couldn’t bring himself to reach out to her.
Twenty-One
Joshua
January 2019
‘Whoops, careful.’ Josh steadied Kim as they exited the Italian restaurant. They’d shared a bottle of wine with their meal and had a liqueur coffee afterwards. She was definitely a bit tipsy.
‘It’s the shoes,’ she said, turning towards him with a mischievous smile.
Josh sighed in mock despair. ‘I suppose that means you’ll be throwing yourself at my feet again then?’
‘Like you don’t regularly have women throwing themselves at your feet,’ she teased, surprising him and sliding her hand around his waist as they walked.
‘Obviously. But I only pick the pretty ones up,’ Josh quipped. He hesitated, and then circled his arm around her too as they neared the bridge over the River Severn, heading for the high street to get a taxi.
‘Flatterer.’ She laughed.
‘It’s one of my better qualities,’ Josh assured her. He was glad she was smiling more easily.
