“You drive me wild, do you know that?” he whispered, pressing his full weight against me. I clung to his back, hands tracing his spine lower and lower until I gripped his ass.
“No, you should tell me more about that,” I answered, grinning at the little kiss he gave in return. Somehow, that was what made my toes curl, and the words that followed. “But you, uh, should know the feeling is mutual.”
Roys settled on his elbows, hovering above me, his lips parted in a silent question that I didn’t let him share.
“So, are you going to let me suck you off or not, Captain?”
He snorted, then full-on laughed, and I joined him. The sound muffled as he leaned in for another kiss, where I forgot how to breathe.
“I can’t believe I am saying this, but never change, Ethin.” Then he kissed my cheek, and I laid down as Roys settled his cock above me.
I didn’t care if the angle was a little awkward, as long as I got a taste of him. I loved the length of him, the girth that made my jaw ache. I took my time with his head, licking and sucking before taking all of him I could. Roys groaned from where he sprinkled my hips with kisses. His hand pleasured me as he said, “I love that mouth of yours. Damn, baby, you give the best head."
I hummed against his cock, taking him faster. I didn’t want to stop, didn’t want him to stop as his mouth soon matched my pace. I knew I wouldn’t last, that he had already had me on the brink for a while. Having him in my mouth only added to the ecstasy pooling at the base of my spine. But I wanted to make him come before me. I wanted to make him feel better than anyone else ever had.
I stopped to wet my fingers. Roys squeezed my thighs hard when I slid them between his cheeks to circle his hole. There, they massaged him while my mouth returned to worshipping his cock. The double stimulation had him struggling to match me. His hand took my base while he departed for a breath, his moans growing higher, faster. His mouth became frantic, like he couldn't concentrate and soon he was just panting against my thigh while his thumb played with my head. The sensation was incredible, knowing what I was doing to him, feeling him shuddering against my fingers, my tongue, and hearing him. Damn, I was truly addicted to this.
“That’s a good boy, so good, babe.” Roys responded by cupping my balls, tugging and pulling. I squirmed beneath him, moaning, wanting to drag this out and end all at once.
My thumb pressed hard against Roys, slipping in, and finally he cried out. He groaned as I didn’t relent, sucking until my cheeks were hollow, until he came and I had every last drop from him. Roys trembled, his cock going soft in my mouth. I held his ass, squeezing when his mouth returned to me. A few quick strokes of that amazing tongue, letting my hips thrust into him, then my orgasm rocked me.
I fell back on the bed, limbs feeling worthless while Roys brought me to oblivion. He fell away, only to move around so he could drop next to me, an arm draped over my waist. He kissed my shoulder and brushed his fingers over my chest, fingers that I caught and held tight.
“We should get a shower,” he said.
“I will accept any excuse for us to remain naked together. I always enjoy what happens next.”
“The feeling’s mutual.” He winked.
I couldn’t resist rolling over him for a kiss. That should be an illegal move. He was too tempting.
After a lot more making out, Roys dragged us to the shower. It was both unsettling and amazing to feel so comfortable together, like it was normal to have him kissing my back while I washed my hair, or to bury my face in the crook of his neck so he’d laugh as we dried off.
I loved him. I really loved him so much it scared me, and the words were right there, settled on the tip of my tongue. When I caught his eyes in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, toothpaste all over his mouth and he looked an utter mess, I nearly couldn’t stop myself from screaming the truth;I love you. I'm crazy about you. I'd do anything for you. Just ask for it and it's yours, so long as you never ask me to leave.
This was… a lot. It was too much. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had never, this was too new, so I was grateful that afterward there was cleaning to do. Roys told me I didn’t have to help, but cleaning would make for a good distraction. And, with Roys’ permission, I got my hands on the picture of him and Malwin.
Malwin had his eyes, his dark brown hair, and his lopsided smile. The boy had a knack for art, too. Roys went on and on about putting Malwin in art classes. This tour specifically would pay for tutoring next year. He and Dinah were adamant that he not join Roys in the militia and certainly wouldn’t grow up as they had.
Not a good father, my ass. But if I pointed that out, Roys deflated because he didn’t believe it. He believed that screwing up made him a failure. If that were the case, I’d be the biggest failure in all the galaxies. Roys was still learning and would be for the rest of his life. But as we lay there talking, he promised to tell me if he ever struggled. When I said I’d be there for him, his smile said he believed me. Me. The coward. The one who ran, who abandoned his sister, his friends, and would have left Roys back there in the cave. Except he didn’t see a coward anymore. I worried about what that meant for us. If we were even an us.
I had to leave beforethe others woke, or I said something foolish. Roys made that difficult by kissing me senseless goodbye. He was temptation in human form, knowing exactly what to say or do to lock me in his orbit. But somehow, I escaped, colder without him.
When I returned to my room, hair a mess and neck covered in kiss marks, Arana peeked her tired eyes over the bunk. Her grin grew exponentially.
“Who have you been doing all night?” She coughed. “I mean,whathave you been doing?”
I dove into bed to smother myself in the pillow, too overwhelmed to reply or do anything other than mope because I couldn’t love Roys. Love shouldn’t be on my mind. It was a cursed word. Poison without an antidote. I would be the new poison blackening Roys’ veins. Nothing good ever came from me, and what the fuck did I know about being an “us?” My relationships were just sex, what I was good at, what was simple and to the point. Roys and I could never be simple.
And none of that took into account the fact that Roys had a kid. Me, around a kid? Well, I suppose I wouldn’t be because of our work, but if I ever were, uh, assuming Roys even wanted me to be. Fuck, I didn’t know.
“Talk didn’t go well?” she asked.
“It went well.”
The bunk squeaked, then mine dipped. I grunted when Arana half slumped on top of me and half on the bed. I elbowed her in the gut because she knew I didn’t enjoy cuddling. Unless it was with Roys, apparently.
Arana rolled over, so she was between me and the wall. “Then why do you look terrible?”
