“Keep things quiet?” I offered.
“Yeah. I try, but it never works because the urge to use never goes away, and the militia, as it turned out, isn’t exactly a place to go to get clean. But if I’m gone, at least Malwin can see his dad as hardworking rather than a disappointment.”
My thumb rubbed the back of his hand, trying to memorize every crease and pattern. “I don’t believe he could think that.”
“Ethin,” he said simply,sadly.
“Isn’t thinking all that proof that you care? You’re not perfect, but no one is, and he looked so sad that he couldn’t talk to you. He must adore you.”
Roys wore red better than anyone; from his neck to his ears, he shined. He didn’t blush often. In fact, outside of the bedroom, I typically made him red with anger. It was nice to rattle him in a way that left him speechless.
“I lied in the caves. I remember my parents and I love them.” I drew a long breath. Roys kissed my chest, and it made my heart soar. “The thought of having anyone I could lose, who would make me feel that terrible every morning when I woke alone — I don’t even want to think about it. They were gone a lot, working. I didn’t understand then, but I do now, and it makes me love them all the more. If Malwin learned of all you have done to keep him happy and safe, his admiration would only grow.”
“I don’t know what to do when you speak so kindly to me.”
“You could kiss me.”
Laughing, he did exactly that. He tasted like home, felt like a future unfurling. Roys cupped my cheek when he didn’t need to. I wasn’t going anywhere, so taken by the way his lips moved effortlessly against mine. We may have started ragged and broken, and we still were in so many ways, but those jagged edges have become places we could fit, where we could piece ourselves together bit by bit.
“Will you tell me more about them one day? And Maddy?” he asked.
My throat constricted. The mere idea of speaking those memories aloud made my bones ache. My grip on his hand must have been painful, but he didn’t let go. The truth rumbled in the base of my chest, a rotten seed that could do nothing more than poison the rest of me.
“I fear I have hit my emotional limit for the next decade or so,” I whispered, because I couldn’t. Not yet.Not now.
He smiled against my mouth, and nothing could have felt better. “I’m surprised you haven’t burst into flames already.”
“I am on the verge, so handle me gently.”
“Like precious cargo. To clarify, Dinah and I aren’t together. We try to support each other, that's all."
I feigned a nonchalant shrug. “Why would I care about that?”
“Just thought you should know.” He hummed and caught his foot around my ankle to playfully tug. “Stay for a little while?”
I answered by pulling him into my chest, where my heart sang the truth too loud to ignore;I loved him.
Fuck.
036
Istayedforhourslying with Roys. There was cuddling and kissing, touching, and at some point, Roys had my cock in his mouth.
Our clothes joined the mess around the bed, and Roys made himself perfectly comfortable between my thighs. The slow caress of his tongue had my dull nails curling into the wrinkled sheets. He sucked my head like his favorite cherry candies, too slowly, utterly maddening, with his amused eyes watching how his work made me pant.
“Fuck, sweetheart, your mouth is amazing,” I grumbled because, as torturous as it was, that didn’t mean I wanted him to stop.
His low moan hummed around my cock. I tried thrusting into his mouth, but he splayed a hand on my abdomen, pressing down so he could drink the precome from my head before moving to my balls.
I curled my hand in his hair, enjoying the sensation of his lips on me, the scruff of his beard against my bare skin, the way he nuzzled his nose against the base of my cock before taking a long breath as if he hadn’t known me for years. He looked incredible, cheeks flushed and lips swollen, the way the muscles in his back deepened as he gripped my thighs to drag my legs over his shoulders.
Stars, I wanted to taste him. I wanted him in my mouth, too.
“Wait,” I said, cursing as his tongue flicked out to trace the vein on the underside of my cock. “Roys, just… I want to suck you off, too. Please, sir.”
He looked up at me, those dark eyes like mirrors reflecting the same desire back at me. Smirking, he kept me in his mouth a moment longer, never breaking eye contact. He took me deep, let me stay there, suffocated by the heat of his mouth before he left.
My legs fell away from his shoulders as he crawled up me, pressing one kiss after the other in his passage. Then he caught my chin for a kiss, where his tongue spread the taste of me through our mouths.
