“You need help getting out?”
“I’m not handicapped.I can manage to get out of a car without your help.”I’m copping a major attitude.I know he’s trying to be helpful, but him threatening to call my family, spending all day in the hospital, and the biggest issue of all—finding out I’m pregnant—has caught up to me.I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed by it all.
He opens his door and I put my hand on his arm, stopping him.I put my head against the headrest, closing my eyes and trying to calm down before I burst into tears.
He closes the door, and I hear the concern in his voice.“You okay?”
Uncertain about a lot of things, my eyes turn to him, misting up.“You really want to have this baby?”
He thinks about it before he answers, and his eyes don’t leave mine.“Do you want to have this baby, Cat?”
I realize I’m asking him a question I haven’t thought about.This is the first time since the doctor told me that I’ve seriously thought about it.I don’t have to think hard.Truthfully, I don’t have to think about it at all.It’s not a choice.There is no choice when it comes to anything with him.
“Yes.”His eyes change when he hears my answer.
“This baby is us, Cat.Something special we made.It wasn’t planned, and the best things never are.I wanted this baby the moment you said, ‘I’m pregnant.’There wasn’t a doubt in my mind whose child this is.It’s ours.”
I’m all smiles on the inside.I knew, but it just feels better to hear it from him.As much as he’s driving me crazy, and I don’t know how much I have truly forgiven him for his actions, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who wants this.I won’t be in this by myself.I know I’ll need all the support I can get to break this news to my family.
I watch his gaze go to my stomach.“Don’t think about anything else.Let’s get you upstairs.You need to rest.It’s been a long day for both of you.”
When we reach upstairs he tells me, “You can sleep in my room, and I’ll sleep in the guest room.”
“I can’t do that,” I tell him.I am not taking no for an answer this time.He got his way all day.I had to have my way once.I can’t sleep in his bed without bringing up memories of the things we did there.I wouldn’t be able to sleep; I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep with him a few feet away.I’m still feeling the electricity from his hand moving down my bare leg in the hospital room, and him holding my hand during the sonogram.He hasn’t touched me since, and that’s a good thing.
He ordered us food and I took a shower after we ate.I told him I was getting a headache before I went in and he knocked on the door every two minutes while I was in there.I think he thought I was going to pass out, hit my head, and drown.I had to scream at him to get the hell away from the door.He was annoying, but I know it comes from concern for me.
We didn’t talk about the baby for the rest of the night.He sat in the room with me when I got in bed and watched TV.We talked about random things, like how I liked working at a conservative private Christian school and with the kids in my class.I told him he wouldn’t believe the things that came out of their mouths, and their parents wouldn’t believe some of the things they tell me about what goes on in their homes.Occasionally I would feel him watching me, and when I would look up at him, his eyes wouldn’t move.He wasn’t trying to hide it.I fell asleep with him watching me, and God give me strength, but I wanted him to lie down next to me with his arms around me.My mind’s not sure how much I’ve forgiven him, but my body doesn’t care.Jay would say she’s a little sluttish when it comes to Nick.
Nick
I’ve been sitting here watchingher sleep for hours.There’s nothing more I want to do than reach out and touch her.God, I want to kiss her in the worst way.She’s all I could think about for weeks, and now she’s here sleeping under the same roof as me.I’m working with a limited amount of willpower tinged with sexual frustration; from the moment my hand touched her today, I had to force myself to stop, otherwise I wouldn’t have.
She’s having my baby; it is unbelievably fucking amazing.Her family is going to flip the fuck out.Jay is going to try to kill me for real.I better watch my back; the day they find out I expect a bullet with my name on it to go flying past my head.Kate could be an even bigger problem.I know what her reaction’s going to be when she finds out Cat is pregnant by me.Ballistic.
This situation with Cat is going to be different from Kate’s, because I love this woman.I can’t get enough of her.I want a life with her.How am I going to convince her of that life with me?Too much history, too much bad memories, but I’m betting our good memories can push away most of the bad.This is my second chance,oursecond chance.I’m going to fight for it.
Cat
“Hmm…hmmm.”Who’s calling my name?Dazed, I open my eyes and see Nick standing over me in his lawyer clothes—a suit.I rub my eyes and stretch.He looks like he stepped out of my dream.Tall, dark, handsome, and rock hard, ready to go.
“I’m leaving.I’m sorry I can’t stay with you; I wish I could.”
“I’ll be fine.You can’t stay home to babysit me when you have clients depending on you.You’re a partner at a major law firm.Take your ass to work.I’m fine, I’m feeling better.”
He smiles, and my heart does little pitter-patters at the picture he’s presenting.I wonder how many women lust after him at work.
“I’m going to call you every hour.Answer your phone.If I can’t call you, Karen is going to call for me.If you don’t pick up, we’re going to call on the house phone.If you’re going to the bathroom, take the phone with you.If you don’t answer after ten minutes, I’m dropping everything and coming straight over here.”
I blink up at him.“That’s crazy.”
“That’s called making sure you’re okay.I left breakfast for you on the table, please eat it.Don’t make me come back and find out you haven’t eaten.Eat something, feed my child.”
“Any more orders you want to throw at me, Mr.Alexander?”I find I’m a tad irritated at his dictation and at the same time holding back a smile.
Without touching me, he tugs the sheet down to my thighs and surveys my body shamelessly with a twinkle in his eyes.“Have a nice day, sweetheart.”
I pull the sheet back up to my waist to cover my bare legs from his amused view and try not to let his leering affect me.“You too, darling.”
