3
TERA
I’m lying on the sofa with my favorite fuzzy blanket, a box of tissues, and my favorite chick flicks. Ethan and Linc hung out longer than I expected. I mean, they made it throughThe Family Stonebut they bailed when I put inDirty Dancing.
Before they left, Linc looked at me over his shoulder with a cheeky grin and said, “Nobody put’s baby in a corner. Don’t you forget it, either.”
Sometimes, my brother is pretty okay.
I’m so relieved Dad agreed to stay with me while Linc was out of town the last couple of days for his fight. I’d have had to go through the miscarriage alone. I can’t imagine that, how scary it’d have been.
Dad takes off after awhile and Sandy joins me for some girlie movies. Sandy’s been a godsend. I’m thrilled she came with Dad. Doctor and nurse, but best of friends. Their friendship is one I admire. I always have. I do regret that I ruined her shopping trip. Truthfully, I think there’s a whole lot more than friendship there. There always has been, if I’m honest.
She choosesMagic Mike XXL.I smirk through my tears. They just keep coming. I can’t feel anything. I’m numb, so how am I still crying. I suppose, my body will continue to grieve for my broken body and broken heart even though I’m working very hard to harden myself against it. The Xanax I took earlier helped some—not enough. I should’ve gone straight for the Valium.
I sigh inwardly. I’ve never abused my meds. I’m not going to start now.
There’s a soft knock at the door and I look to Sandy. She’s as confused as I am.
“Who could that be?” she asks, absent-mindedly. “Do you want me to get it?”
I take stock of myself. Sleep shorts, sweatshirt, hair up in a disastrous bun, glasses on, face red and blotchy from crying, and I’ve likely got dried snot on my nose.
“Nah. I’ll get it.”
I know who it is. Who else would it be? At least he didn’t let himself in with his key—though, with the chain lock, he wouldn’t be able to get in anyway.
I pull up my blue fuzzy socks. Yeah, I’m a real badass. My knees are shaking, my heart racing, and I can’t decide if I want to cry or punch him in the face.
The third time he knocks, I unlock the three deadbolts, then the doorknob lock. Yes, I have issues. I’ve never denied it. I’m working on it. Don’t judge.
I don’t remove the link chain so I can only open the door about four or five inches. I put most of my face behind the door, giving him only my left eye, part of my face and mouth, along with my hand. That’s all he gets.
“Yes?” I ask.
He looks like death warmed over.
Well, pal, that’s exactly how I feel. Welcome to my world.
“Tera—”
“What can I do for you, Xander?” My tone is clipped, though I can’t quite stop the quiver in my voice as I ask.
“Baby—”
“There’s no ‘Baby’ here. Not anymore.”
“Can I come in? We need to talk,” he pleads.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
This is hard, so much harder than I anticipated.
“I need to explain,” he urges.
“No need. Ethan explained it all,” I tell him simply.
His brows rise. “He did? Ethan’s here?”
