GlitterDoctor: Same
xVerity: At that point it’s easier to throw out the whole apartment and start over from scratch.
Gwynning: At that point I’d leave the country
Gwynning: Every landlord for the rest of your life will hear about the poop incident through the grapevine, and finding rentals will be a pain
KnotMyProblem: Hearing his desperate plea for death, the shitacular pile of baby buttholders lurched forward and tackled him to the ground
KnotMyProblem: I have to redact what happened here, because if not there’ll be a motion to ban this conversation from ever being mentioned again, but needless to say TeenDad1 was never seen or heard from again
TeenDad2: That’s so sad :(
TeenDad2: What happened to his baby?
GlitterDoctor: The baby was probably devoured by the diapers, too
KnotMyProblem: Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not a monster, Glit. I’ll kill all the adults I want in my stories, but babies and animals get to live another day
KnotMyProblem: TD, no one really knows what happened to that baby. Some say that he was raised by the very filth he created, only to disappear into the sewers once he was old enough to walk, where he reunited with the rest of his uh… “fragrant” family. Some say that the brave police officers called to the scene of the crime to investigate TeenDad1’s disappearance took the baby in as their own and raised him to be a vigilante hero… but I’ve heard a different story
TeenDad2: What is it???
KnotMyProblem: I heard that little baby was found and given to a loving family
GlitterDoctor: That’s… anticlimactic
KnotMyProblem: A family who’d chosen to live a quiet life out in the country, just outside of town, where they could raise their biological and adopted sons in peace. Both boys grew up never knowing they weren’t related, and to this day, they have no idea of the younger brother’s origins
LoveHarley: knot, r u saying what i think ur saying?
KnotMyProblem: I don’t know, Harley. Do you think I’m saying that the baby is actually… TeenDad2?!?!?!
TeenDad2: OMG I was the baby??
LoveHarley: yep
xVerity: What a twist.
Gwynning: Wow
GlitterDoctor: I’m going to give it a B+ at best. Great storytelling, but slightly predictable plot
KnotMyProblem: Well, fuck you too, Glit
KnotMyProblem: So there you have it—the story of what happened to TeenDad1
xVerity: The moral being to always stay ahead of your laundry, lest it swallow you whole.
KnotMyProblem: The actual moral of the story was to never be a landlord unless you’re prepared to deal with other people’s shit, but you know, I guess that works, too
Gwynning: Riveting. I can’t wait to see what will happen to TeenDad1 next year
TeenDad2: I can’t believe I was the baby!!! I hope I’m the baby again next year
KnotMyProblem: Sorry, TD. An author never reveals their secrets
xVerity: Knot, you’re thinking about magicians.
