xVerity: The suspense is killing me.
KnotMyProblem: THE UNWASHED CLOTH DIAPER PILE
LoveHarley: omg
Gwynning: Your storytelling has improved, Knot. Have you been taking classes?
KnotMyProblem: No. I’m just naturally talented. Thanks for noticing
KnotMyProblem: ANYWAY
KnotMyProblem: Imagine, if you will, a month’s worth of the stinkiest, slimiest, baby-poop-sludge-filled-iest diapers you’ve ever seen. TeenDad1’s incredibly regular child had filled them all… but our poor, misguided Dad kept putting off the laundry, sure that he had more time before he had to succumb to the inevitable washing of the worst laundry in existence
GlitterDoctor: Who the HELL buys a month’s worth of cloth diapers?
TeenDad2: And how did he live with the stink?
KnotMyProblem: Shhh
KnotMyProblem: Shhh your non-believing lips. Let the fiction carry you away to another world. Roll with it. Embrace the impossibility
Gwynning: So how did this mountain of diapers dispose of TeenDad2?
TeenDad2: :horrified emoji:
Gwynning: *TeenDad1. Sorry, it’s habit
KnotMyProblem: Well, I’m glad you asked
KnotMyProblem: The lightning didn’t last long, so darkness set in again. More rain. More thunder. Another brilliant flash of lightning! And there, a little closer than before, was the mountain of sludgy diapers
xVerity: I wasn’t anticipating a horror story, but I’m appreciating this new and thrilling direction.
KnotMyProblem: That’s because I’m a classy storyteller
KnotMyProblem: So, back to the story, TeenDad1 is justifiably terrified. He backs up a few steps, but his back hits the wall. Desperate for an escape, he looks to the left, but there’s only a window, he’s three floors up, and it’s pouring rain outside. He looks to the right—it’s the front door, but it’s locked and the cranky old deadbolt is in place. It’s going to take him a hot second to wrench it open, and a hot second might be a degree or two too long
Gwynning: I’m… not sure that turn of phrase works
KnotMyProblem: Hey, if you don’t like it, you can take a turn telling the story. Words are HARD, okay?
Gwynning: No, I’m fine. You go right on ahead.
KnotMyProblem: So TeenDad1 inches along the wall toward the door, hoping that if he doesn’t make any sudden movement, the literal pile of filth won’t notice him. Unfortunately for him, dirty diapers aren’t T-Rexes, and when lightning flashes again, the diapers are right there in front of the door, and there’s a putrid trail of yellow/brown slime streaked all across the floor
TeenDad2: :vomiting emoji:
GlitterDoctor: That’s sick
LoveHarley: wood floors, tile floors, or carpet?
KnotMyProblem: Carpet
TeenDad2: :horrified emoji:
TeenDad2: KILL ME NOW
KnotMyProblem: Which, coincidentally, was what TeenDad1 screamed into the night when he saw the mess his apartment had become
