“There’s no hurry.” Alex stretched and yawned. He seemed in much better spirits now that his contractions had started, which Laurence found bizarre, but he didn’t question it. “It’s like how it was with Matthew—until the contractions are four to five minutes apart over the span of a few hours, we may as well stay at home. I’m not interested in having to rest on a birthing bed any longer than I needto.”
“And you’re sure?” The first stirrings of apprehension clenched in Laurence’sstomach.
Alex laughed. He looked at Laurence, his eyelids drooping. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m about to pass out and get some sleep, and here you are worrying that your knot is going to seriously impact the delivery. It’s okay, I promise. I’ve… I’ve never had a baby before, but I was around for Gage’s labor, and I was there for Matthew’s, too. We waited it out at home, and we’re going to wait mine out at home, too,okay?”
“Okay.” Laurence pushed down the rising anxiety in his chest and focused on the immediate. Alex was soft and warm, and his body fit against Laurence’s just right. The smell of his sweat bore notes of omega, calming andright,like an embrace after a long, tiring day. “You’re right. I’mnervous.”
“You’re the one who’s already had a baby,” Alex teased. “I promise, it’s going to be fine. Let me do all the hard work, okay? This is my time toshine.”
It was, and Laurence would lethim.
Eventually, his knot receded, and he slid out of Alex, who’d already fallen asleep. Laurence, holding him loosely, closed his eyes and pushed thoughts of the days to come from hismind.
Tomorrow or the day following, he’d meet his new son or daughter. Their little family would grow that much larger, and their relationship would change out of necessity. They’d be fathers to a newborn—bound together in inextricableways.
Nine months ago, he’d been on a completely different path and, seemingly, happy with his life. Now that path was so far behind him that he couldn’t return there if he tried. It didn’t bother him. The destination he was headed for was far better than the rigid, limited future Laurence had once dreamed he’dhave.
He’d found Alex along the way, after all. No matter how fraught with trouble the way forward was, the journey alone was worth it. The problem hadn’t been that his path in life was too easy—it was that it was too lonely. And now that he’d opened his heart to Alex, Laurence would never be lonelyagain.
37
Alex
If Alex had ever crackeda joke about Matthew’s labor, he rescinded it now. Fifteen hours after arriving at the hospital and two hours of pushing later and still, there was nobaby.
Alex was certain he was going to go insane from theagony.
Labor wasn’t like he’d expected it to be. Rhythmic contractions pulsed low inside of him, leaving him sore and spotting his vision with orange, and a second, red-hot pain radiated up his spine. Alex understood why Matthew had twisted himself into all kinds of positions—there was no getting comfortable, and Alex wanted nothing more than to keep moving and squirming until he foundrelief.
Laurence, at least, was helping. He wiped the sweat from Alex’s brow and tolerated the way Alex squeezed his hand. Most infuriatingly, he stayed upbeat the entire time. Every now and then, Alex caught signs of worry on his face, but like shadows glimpsed from the corner of his eye, the emotion disappeared just as quickly as it wasseen.
“You’re almost there,” Laurence promised. “It won’t be much longernow.”
“You said that ten hours ago,” Alex hissed through clenched teeth. He squeezed Laurence’s hand as another contraction hit. Orange lit up his world, and he barely saw the nurse who was supervising the delivery step into place at the foot of the bed as she urged him to push. Alex grunted and strained, pushing with everything he had, only to make no progress. The pain didn’t go away completely, but it receded enough that he could get in a few choppy words. “I’m done. I’mso done.This is your fault, isn’tit?”
The conclusion was the only sensible one. The baby was partially Laurence’s—no child of Alex’s would take so damned long to make their appearance. Alex was far too showy to want to bethisfashionablylate.
“My fault?” Laurenceasked.
“It’s—ah!” A pulsing wave of needle-sharp pain shot through Alex’s body, leaving him panting for breath. He sank back onto the birthing bed and focused on his breathing, but nothing was helping. Why hadn’t he elected to get an epidural? If he had the chance, he’d go back in time and punch old-Alex in theface.
“Alex?” Laurence asked cautiously. The look of concern on his face made Alex want to tear the glasses from his face and throw them against the wall. He couldn’t rationally explainwhyhe felt that way, but he chalked it down to temporary insanity brought on by a double shift inagony.
“I swear,” he puffed. “I swear if this baby… if it isn’t bornvery soon,I’ll…” Alex didn’t know how to finish that sentence, but the threat made him feelbetter.
“You’re doing a fantastic job. The baby is going to be here soon. All you have to do is keep trying.” Laurence rubbed his thumb over the top of Alex’s handreassuringly.
Alex wanted to ask Laurence if he had the option tostoptrying, but before he could form the words, another wave of pain broke against him. Alex cried out and jerked upright as it hit. His vision went blurry, and he struggled to keep breathing like he’d been instructed to do. When he could see again, he spotted the nurse at the end of the bed. Her expression wasworried.
“What?” Alex demanded. “What’s goingon?”
“We just passed the three-hour mark on pushing,” the nurse said. Her worried expression didn’t change, although she did offer Alex a timid smile, like that was supposed to fix anything. “At this point, we can offer you a C-section. I’m not seeing any progress,and—”
“Prepare me for surgery right the fuck now.” Alex flopped back on the bed and covered his face with his hands, both overjoyed to know his labor would be over soon, and terrified that he’d just told a nurse to go ahead and cut him open. As far as he was aware, the insurance plan he had through his mother would cover the costs of both his hospital stay and the surgery. And if it didn’t, he’d paint his ass off to pay for the expenses, because he wasdone.It was too much. Matthew was his new goddamn hero for having gone through a natural birth unassisted. It wasterrible.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Laurence asked. He brushed the hair back from Alex’sforehead.
Alex swatted weakly at his arm. As a new contraction hit, he pushed along with it, but he knew that he wasn’t any closer to delivering. “Yes, I’m okay with it. There’s something…wronggoing on inside me, and the baby needs help.Ineedhelp.”
