Concern pushed Laurence’s lips together and furrowed his brow. His shoulders tightened. He turned to look at the nurse. “How soon can the operating theater beready?”
“It’s ready immediately,” shesaid.
That was all Alex needed to hear. He closed his eyes. Rationally, he knew when labor had ended and he had his baby in his arms, everything would be okay—but rationality didn’t mean much when every other minute, his insides felt like they were forcibly trying to exit hisbody.
“I’m ready,” Alex said. And he would be. He’d wake up after the surgery and be a father, and while it wasn’t the birthing scenario he’d imagined, he’d get over it. “Take mein.”
In just a little longer, he’d get to meet the tiny life he’d been carrying for the last nine months—and discover whether he was having a son or adaughter.
* * *
“You’re not goingto knock me out?” Alex sat on the edge of the operating table like he’d been told while the anesthesiologist prepared what Alex assumed was going to be a very,verylarge needle. Sitting still was hard when his body was screaming at him to push, but Alex fought through the pain and kept as still as he could. “This is a surgery. You… you’re going to cut me open. You want me to stay awake forthat?”
“You’ll be numb through the process,” his surgeon, who was a short distance away, said. “You won’t feel athing.”
“But I’m going to see it happen,” Alex argued. Every now and then he stole looks at Laurence, who stood before him and held his hand. The blood had drained from his face, and there was a haunted look in his eyes. It was flattering, Alex supposed, that Laurence was sticking around out of love for Alex when he was so clearly disturbed, but he was too exhausted to offer Laurence anycomfort.
“There will be a surgical curtain between you and the incision. You won’t see anything,” the surgeon replied with an air of practiced boredom. “Everything will befine.”
Everything wouldnotbe fine. Alex was going to becutopen.
“I need you to take a deep breath in, then let it out,” the anesthesiologist said. A gloved hand pressed against Alex’s back, and as Alex drew a breath in, he felt a prick. Within seconds, the area wasnumb.
“If that’s all that it’s going to do for me, we’re going to have a problem,” Alex said. He could still feel the pain pulsing within him, but worse, he could feel his body. If they were going to slice him open, he’d be able to feelit.
“That’s the first shot, meant to numb you so we can perform the spinalblock.”
Alex looked miserably up at Laurence, who was very still and veryquiet.
“Deep breath in,” the anesthesiologistsaid.
Alex breathed in deeply, but he still felt the pressure as the needle penetrated his body and sank into his spine. Sudden numbness swept through him, and soon enough, the needle had been removed and he was guided back onto the operating table. The surgeon and her assistants took over, leaving Alex to stare up at the theaterlights.
“I don’t feel the contractions anymore,” Alex mumbled. He blinked back unexpected tears. It wasn’t as though he was upset about the lack of pain, but now that it was absent, he understood just how tired and sore he was. Mind fogged from exhaustion, muscles knotted from the strain of fifteen hours of labor, he’d worn himselfdown.
Soon, he’d get to meet his baby, and then he’d get to sleep. It was the only bright part of what had been an otherwise bleakday.
That, and Laurence. Alex glanced in his direction, and his heart skipped a beat. Although Laurence was pale, he stood proudly beside Alex and kept his face free from fear. Under Laurence’s care, Alex had flourished… and to know that Laurence was still there for him, waiting for the baby after what a long and tiring day it had been, meant more than he could hope toexpress.
Laurence, feeling eyes on him, met Alex’s gaze. He smiled. “I’m proud of you. You’re being so strong for us. I loveyou.”
“I love you, too.” Alex blinked away tears. Purple took over fromorange.
He was going to beokay.
A surgical curtain was being set up, blocking Alex from seeing what was going on behind it. Laurence kept his gaze trained on Alex. “Your moms are on their way. While you were being prepped for surgery, I called to let them know what was goingon.”
“My moms are coming?” Alex was exhausted, but not so much that he didn’t want to see the women who’d raised him. He closed his eyes and let feelings of affection warm him from the inside. Blue joined the purple. If his moms were coming, they could help him while he recovered. The more hands available, the better. Taking care of Emily between the three of them was enough of a struggle as it was. “Howsoon?”
“They should be here just in time for our baby to be born.” Laurence spoke softly and kindly, and Alex found he was no longer annoyed by what he said. Fatigue was beginning to eat at the corners of his vision, turning it dark. His eyelids might as well have weighed hundreds of pounds. He closed his eyes to rest, content in knowing that, soon, this would be behind him. Labor would be over, they’d have their baby to love, and life would go on asnormal.
When he opened his eyes again, it was to a strange shifting from inside of him, then, a piercing cry. Alex’s ears perked. His heart leapt into histhroat.
Baby.
“The baby,” Alex uttered. He wanted to sit up and pull the curtain aside so he could see, but somewhere along the way, his arms had been strapped down. “Ourbaby.”
Laurence, who’d been a silent source of support through the procedure, stroked Alex’s hair, but Alex barely felt his fingers. He was only numb near the incision and up through his chest, but his mind was focused elsewhere. He wanted to meet the baby more than he ever imagined hewould.
