My brain picks up on her words, and mortification fills me. "I was singing? You let me sing in public?" I down some coffee, burning my tongue in the process, and grab my phone, praying that no one caught it on video and posted it on social media. I open my apps but don't see anything scandalous posted, and let out a sigh of relief. A notification from the Anti-Valentine's app catches my attention, and my heart rate instantly skyrockets.
"Yeah, it was hilarious, you were even being super flirty and chatty with a couple of guys we met along the way home. Girl, I had to drag you away. You looked like you wanted to climb one of them like a tree. You kept asking him if he was a wolf and wanted to eat you."
I instantly click on the app, angling my phone away from Faye's curious eyes, losing track of what she's saying and why she's laughing. All I can focus on are the words on the screen and the attached picture.
Red, those lips are pure temptation and have my cock hard as a rock for you. I hope you know how to deep throat a dick, pretty girl. Don't worry if you don't, I'm more than willing to teach you.
As for being your wolf, I can't wait to hunt you down and devour you. I'm a fast runner, so the question is, how loud are you going to scream for me?
Is your pretty pussy all wet for me? Does it want me to fill it up and give it a pounding? I can't wait to make you my little slut and ride you hard into the ground. I promise, pretty girl, you won't have a reason to be disappointed when I'm done with you. You'll be feeling my cock and what I've done to you long after our Valentine's night is over.
Holy shit! I click on the photo attached, and he's sent me a dick pic. He's wearing a tight black leather glove, and his fingers are wrapped around his hard, long, girthy, and veiny cock, and there's a drop of creamy precum slipping from the slit on his dark red mushroom tip. "Girl, what has you smiling like that?"Faye questions before swiping my phone out of my hand. "Oh my, Cordie. Look at that length and girth,yum.Who sent you this?"
My lips open and close, and I try to get my misfiring brain under control and to form sentences, but I'm struggling. That's one pretty dick, usually they're so gross, and men can be such disgusting pigs when they send unsolicited dick-pics to women, but this one is not like that. My thighs tighten as I squirm on the counter stool, and meet Faye's curious and delighted expression. "Mmm, that's my match from the Anti-Valentine's thing. We've... um... been chatting."
"What?!Why didn't you tell me?" I try to grab my phone back from her, but she dances out of my reach, and I watch as she scrolls upwards to read the rest of our interactions. I press my hands against my face, feeling incredibly horrified that she's reading my reply toThe Hunter.
"The Hunter, eh? Shit, that sounds sexy. My guy doesn't have a fancy name like that?" She looks over at me and pouts, and my face must be the color of a tomato. Her eyes soften as she hands me back my phone. "Why are you embarrassed right now? Do you have any idea how proud I am that you're stepping out of your comfort zone and doing this?" She reaches for my hand and squeezes tightly. "This will be good for you, Cordie. It will help you finally get past that dirty cunt, Noah."
I know she's right, and that's why I went through with replying in the first place, but I still feel unsure about whether it's the right thing to do. Could living out a fantasy with a stranger really help me move on from the heartache and betrayal I constantly feel, or is that wishful thinking? I suppose I can always back out. I have just under two weeks to work up the courage to meet thisHunterin the woods. "I'm trying, Faye. I want to move past all this shit and start over without Noah constantly hanging over my head and feeling like the biggestidiot. I just want peace," I huff and take another sip of my coffee to stop myself from crying.God, you cry about everything, so pitiful and weak. You're worthless, and this guy will see that too. Thank fuck, he only has to put up with you for one night.
"Girl, it will all be alright. We'll make sure we both have safeguards in place just in case one of these guys is a real psycho, and when that night is over, we can walk away with the memories. When we're old and gray in the nursing home, we can reminisce on how we were once crazy bitches!" The thought of the two of us as old ladies, together in a nursing home, cackling about this, brings a smile to my face and makes me chuckle.
"Maybe you're right, and I just need to let it flow and see what happens." What's the worst thing that can happen? This guy gives me exactly what I've asked for, and I end up sore and walking funny for a few days. I'll take that any day over finding out the man I love is fucking my childhood best friend behind my back.
I reply toThe Hunterand force myself to close the app, so I'm not sitting here lusting all day after a man I've never even met.
Promises, promises. I can't wait to lick that precum from your tip and deep throat your cock. Will you choke me if I ask you nicely? Will you choke me harder if I don't ask you at all? As for not being disappointed afterwards, I guess we'll see, won't we, little wolf.
"I know I am, girl, and in less than two weeks, you'll be thanking me for signing you up, Cordie. You'll be saying, Noah who?"
God, I hope she's right.
CHAPTER 10
NOAH
"Noah! Not... so... fucking... hard. Slow down!" Josslyn's shrill voice tries to break through my fantasy of Cordelie naked on the ground and surrounded by trees before me, with her lips painted red and wrapped tightly around my cock, as I fuck her face savagely. Her blue-gray eyes stare up at me, filled with lust instead of the malice and pain I always witness, and for a brief moment, I feel good about myself instead of like trash.
My hands squeeze tightly on Josslyn's bony hips, and I'm partially aware that I must be hurting her and leaving bruises, but I can't bring myself to care or even stop. My eyes are sealed shut as I replay over and over in my mind Cordelie's teasing words, how she's daring me to choke and fuck her ruthlessly, and use her for my own depraved needs. When did she become this hedonistic, wanton creature? Was she always like this, just under the surface? I feel both exhilarated and deprived that I didn't get to experience this side of her when we were together. "Noah, please... slow down!"
I reach forward, my hand wrapping tightly around Josslyn's thin throat to both silence her and to keep my fantasy going. In my head, it's Cordelie's throat I'm squeezing, as I pound harderand harder into her until my pelvis is slamming into her pale flesh. I want to bury myself so deeply that she'll never be able to escape me, and she'll realize she'll always be mine.
As for not being disappointed afterwards, I guess we'll see, won't we, little wolf.
FUCK! I can't hold on much longer. My body is trembling, sweat trickling down my back as I feel a current of electricity race over every one of my nerve endings, lighting me up from the inside. I flex my fingers, tightening their grasps until I hear a wheezing, choking sound that's like a gun going off in my ears, and it makes me cum long and hard with a deep groan. At the last second, I manage to swallow Cordelie's name before releasing it. "FUUUCCCKKK!"
I finally open my eyes, my heart pounding in my chest as I attempt to catch my breath. I release my hold on Josslyn's neck, and she flops forward like a broken doll over the side of the couch, sucking in desperate gulps of oxygen. My erection instantly deflates with my bitch slap of reality. A cold chill races over me as I glance over her body, covered in red marks from my fingers, and her heaving chest, and I realize it's no longer the one I was picturing in my mind. "What... the... fuck... is the... matter... with you?" Josslyn croaks as tears slide down her face, and she rubs at her throat, and instantly guilt rears its ugly head and makes me feel like scum. A sharp pain echoes in my chest, as the tears mix with saliva and trail down her molten face. Fuck, what have I done?You should have fucked her harder. She can still talk, so that means you didn't hurt her enough.
"I'm sorry, Joss. I... I got carried away." I quickly approach her and lift her into my arms, cradling her trembling body into mine as I sit on the couch. A grimace crosses my mouth as I take in the red fingerprints already blooming around her throat, asshe sniffles loudly and burrows into my chest. Shit, how badly did I hurt her while I was busy daydreaming about Cordelie?You hurt everyone you meet. That's all you're capable of, pain and destruction.
"Did I hurt you, baby?" A part of me is hoping she'll respond that I didn't. It will just make me feel like a bigger monster if I did, and it's already almost impossible to meet my glance in the mirror. The other part, the demon that lives within me, stares at the marks and smiles, wishing that blood was pouring out of them, that we had stopped her from permanently breathing. It's getting harder and harder to control these urges. The ones that will see me doing prison time if I'm not careful.You are a monster, you know what you've done, what you'll continue to do. You hurt everyone around you.
"You... you scared me, Noah." I wrap my arms tighter around her petite frame, bile racing up the back of my throat. "It's like you were somewhere else, you weren't listening." She stares up into my face, and I try to hide the guilt of being lost in my head with Cordelie as my fantasy. Her emerald green eyes narrow in suspicion, and my heartbeat jumps. "Who were you thinking about while you fucked me just now, and don't lie, Noah, it wasn't me."
A part of me wants to just confess and let the chips fall where they may. I'm tired of pretending and dealing with this shit. I never intended to get into a relationship with Josslyn, she was always meant to be a side piece that I could discard once I was sick of her. Now, for months, I've been trapped in this farce of a relationship after shit hit the fan, and the way we hurt Cordelie. When can I break free of this mess? How can I keep playing this game when everything in me is torn apart and covered in the filth of my actions?
One look at Josslyn's devastated face, and I lose all sense of the malice I was feeling, and remorse rears its ugly head. Myhead is always filled with contradictions, the monster rattling his chains and wanting to be allowed out to play. She doesn't deserve my ugly truth, and I don't think she wants to actually hear it. In her own sick way, she already knows, but she ignores it to make herself feel better about what she puts up with from me. "No one, it was you in my head, baby, I was just so into it." The lies taste like ash on my tongue, but that doesn't hinder me in the slightest.
