I get up off the hard concrete and stand, shrugging as if it doesn't matter either way.
"Guess you don't love me the way you claim, Joss. I hope you like being damaged goods."
"NO! Please, Noah!" She cries, beseeching me on her knees. Tears fall down her porcelain face as her lips tremble, and I feel my cock stirring in my pants. It's not enough, she's not enough. I watch with amusement as she grabs the hem of her shirt with jerky movements, pulls it off over her head, and drops it to the ground. I can hear a few students further away speaking about us, but I don't dare take my eyes off Josslyn. I nod my chin in the direction of her bra, and her body trembles, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she reaches backward and releases it, and it trails down her arms until it meets her discarded shirt.Run, Josslyn, show me you have a backbone and run away from me.
"You're wasting my time, Joss," I complain, my voice cold and unfeeling. She yanks down her skirt, and it pools at her knees before she rips it off. Her nipples pebble in the cool February air, and I can see the shame finally wash over her. She wraps her arms around her chest, as more and more voices make their way closer. "Uh uh, Josslyn. Let the world see them, baby. You paid a lot of money for them."
"Please don't do this, Noah, please!" She begs, but it doesn't stir any emotions within me. It's as if I'm made of ice now, entirely numb to anything and anyone around me. I cross my arms against my chest, and my ankles, as I lean casually back against the column with a dead look, as if I have all day. Her pleas won't work on me. I gave her a chance to walk away, and she didn't take it. All bets are off now, and poor Josslyn's about to learn that I have no limit to my cruelty.
She lowers herself to the cold concrete with a shudder and a sob, shifting her arms behind her back. "Crawl, baby. We both know you do it so well." She shifts on the ground, a patheticand halfhearted attempt to comply with my demand. Her body flushes with embarrassment, and goosebumps break out along her flesh. Her sobs are getting louder and louder, and all I can think about is whether Cordelie cried when she ran from me. Josslyn writhes on the ground like the maggot she's become, laughter reaches my ears from our audience, and I'm positive a few are recording her. I wonder if she'll be brave enough to face these people again once I leave her, or if she'll run from me too. If I’m lucky she might throw herself off of one of the school buildings, ending our misery once and for all.
I squat down so that I'm closer to her, brushing her hair away from her face. "Tell our audience that you're my dirty little whore. That there's nothing that you won't do to bring me pleasure."
"Noah, don't do this, please," she begs, and I instantly drop my hold and rise, turning my body as if I'm going to walk away from her. "I'm a dirty... whore," she sobs, but it's spoken too low for anyone to hear her. Doesn't she realize that I'm trying to save her from herself and me? What I'm doing here is my last act of kindness for her. It's a fucking wake-up call that if she doesn't walk away from me now, I'm likely to kill her in a fit of rage. Can't she see how generous I'm being to her?
"Louder. It's your last chance, Josslyn."
She almost slams her chin on the concrete as she slithers back and forth on her stomach. Her body shakes as she yells, "I'M A DIRTY WHORE. I WOULD DO ANYTHING NOAH WANTS. ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM HAPPY!"
I lean down and pet her head, like she's my favorite dog. "That's a good girl, Josslyn." The hope in her eyes as she stares up at me makes my stomach curdle. I pry my glance away from her and catch a glimpse of Cordelie across the courtyard, heading to the science building, utterly unaware of the mercy I'm granting her former best friend. I turn and start heading inthat direction, lost in my need to see her, speak with her, and demand to know why she ran from me.
"NOAH! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?" Josslyn screams behind me.
I look back over my shoulder at her with an enormous, menacing smile across my face. "Away from you, whore. You're pathetic and tainted. Stay away from me, Josslyn, you're disgusting."
I keep walking, Cordelie in my sights, and Josslyn's high-pitched shrieks behind me. Cordelie's all that matters now. She thought she could run from me, but she's already caught in my web, and like a deadly spider, I have no intention of letting her go before I've consumed, and had my fill of her.
Run for me, sweet baby girl. I'll enjoy chasing you.
CHAPTER 19
CORDELIE
"Cordelie!" A furious male voice yells as I dash up the stairs to the science building. Terror races up my spine as I recognize it as Noah's. Fuck, I knew I should have stayed home again today. He's been hounding me like a persistent tick since I ran out on him.
Adrenaline surges through my system despite how exhausted I am. I haven't slept more than a few hours since fleeing his apartment like a frightened rabbit. There's a semi-irrational fear that Noah is going to hurt me now, even though he never did anything physical to me before that night. It was something about the way he stared down at me before he went to the bathroom. I believe in a woman's intuition, and mine was screaming at me that night to get the hell out of there. Even thinking about it now sends a cold dread through my body.
When I finally made it home, and Faye rushed down to pay the cab, I was mortified, and kept looking over my shoulder, as if I genuinely believed he would materialize out of thin air. Faye tried to talk to me about what happened at the club, but I refused to tell her anything about the guy in the bathroom. I don't know if my silence was to keep Noah and his unhinged, violent actionssafe, or if I was more embarrassed that I allowed all of that to happen, by being careless and not aware of what was happening around me.
How many times have I had it drilled into my head not to accept drinks from men, or to stay together with my buddy group? How many stories have I heard about girls just like me, getting raped in clubs or taken elsewhere to be assaulted, and then later blamed because their dresses were too short, or they were flirting and leading him on? I almost became a damn statistic. This world is not kind to women; you can't just be carefree. You have to constantly worry about the monster you know, and the devil you don't, trying to take something from you that you're not willing to give. That’s the appeal though, isn’t it? Something forced brings these monsters more pleasure than something freely given. The world is a dark place that makes demons look like heroes, and victims like they deserved the crimes committed against them. It’s survival of the fittest.
Case in point, Noah. If I hadn't woken up from my drug-induced nap, how far would he have taken it? Yet even then, knowing what he was willing to do to me without my conscious consent, I allowed him to abuse me. No, worse, I begged him to. The rage at myself, the feeling of overwhelming helplessness that's been hitting me over and over since that night, tries once again to drown me. I keep moving, even though I can hear him yelling my name again, and the sound of his rapid footsteps approaching. My body tenses for impact as I force a deep breath inside my chest, and tighten my grasp around my bag. Is this the moment that he breaks me into more pieces than I’ll ever be able to put back together? My fragmented heart is already being held together precariously by flimsy tape. One more blow might be the end of it.
I'm relieved that Faye talked me into carrying pepper spray. God, here's hoping that I don't have to use it on Noah. I'm notsure if I have the courage to see it through. "Cordelie, fuck, wait!" His hand reaches out and yanks my bicep from behind, causing me to slam into his body. I instantly jerk forward out of his grasp and create space between us. "Why are you running from me, sweet baby girl?"
"I have nothing to say to you, Noah. Leave me alone, please." I try to take another step away from him, but he shadows my motions and pushes his way in front of me. The action causes my teeth to clench so hard that I fear for my molars. I refuse to meet his glance, looking at his ear instead. I know it's immature of me, but I don't want him to be able to guilt me into listening to him, or worse, charm me.You're weak, you'll fall for his venom again and again. You're too stupid to save yourself.
"You have nothing to say to me, Cordelie,really?How about you start with why you ran out of my apartment like your fucking ass was on fire?" His words are crude, and I can hear the anger in every syllable, and it makes me take another two steps away from him. The heat of his glance trails over my body, making it feel like fire ants are crawling on me, and I have the urge to swipe at my arms.
"You scared of me now, Cordelie?"Step."You running from me because I gave you exactly what you wanted, but now you're filled with regrets?"Step."You regret letting me use you like the slut you wanted to be, sweet baby girl?"
"Stop," the word sounds soft and minuscule leaving my lips.
"Stop?Stop what, Cordelie? Stop loving you? Stop begging you to take me back? Stop knowing that you'remineand youbelong to me? What exactly should I stop?" Noah demands, and I can see his hands fisted at his sides, as if he's restraining himself from reaching out and touching me. If he touches me, I don't know what I'll do. There's a strong possibility that I'll crumple into a sobbing heap.Pathetic. Damaged. Worthless.
I raise my glance and meet his, and my breath becomes trapped in my throat. He looks like shit, with deep purple shadows under his eyes, his face covered in more than a day's worth of dark whiskers, and his lips look like he's been chewing them; they're red, cracked, and sore. My eyes slide down his tall frame and take in the rumpled clothing, and how disorderly he appears. Is that all just because I ran from him? Shame and guilt war within me, and I have to steel my backbone from giving in to the need to apologise to him. I wasn't in the wrong, and I don't owe him anything. I'm allowed to decide that I don't want him in my life. I try to rationalize my thoughts to give myself the needed strength to deal with him now, but it's a waning battle.
"All of it, Noah. I don't belong to you, and I don't wish tobewith you. I want you to leave me alone. What we had is over and should remain in the past. I don’t want you to be a part of my future."
