He leans forward, his body angling toward me, and I stiffen, partially closing my eyes as if that somehow could protect me from his touch. "Do you remember when I told you that you belonged to me, Cordelie? Did you think that was a joke to me, sweet baby girl? You can run from me, but you'll never run far or fast enough. I'll always find and catch you."
His hand reaches out and pushes a tendril of my hair behind my ear, and I can't swallow a whimper fast enough to prevent him from hearing it. He hums with pleasure at the sound and my stomach drops. "I'm deep inside of you, invading every single cell. You will always belong to me. I'm your fuckingowner. Do you hear me, Cordelie? Iownevery part of you, but especially your heart. It beats only forme." I can hear the satisfaction and threat in his voice, and it causes my panic to escalate to an unbearable point.
My hand reaches into my tote bag while I hold his gaze steadily, even though everything within me is shaking like a leaf.He sounds like a deranged stalker right now, and I'm petrified. My fingers reach for the small, metal canister, and I wrap them tightly around it, twisting it carefully and flipping the lip, without moving in a way that will attract his attention to what I'm doing. "You're insane, and you're scaring me, Noah. I need you to back away and leave me alone. I don't belong to you, and you don't fucking own me!"
My voice is getting shrill and louder as adrenaline courses through me, activating my fight-or-flight response. Everything in me wants to turn tail and run away, but I force myself to stand tall and face him. I can't keep running, or I'll be doing it all my life. This has to stop. He needs to understand that I don't want to be with him anymore. What we had is over and it was never real.
His hand reaches for my neck, and I don't hesitate, pulling the canister from my bag, clutching it tightly, pointing at his face, and using my thumb to push down on the dispenser. "WHAT THE FUCK, CORDELIE!" He screams as he rears back, and his hands frantically rise to his face.
"Stay the fuck away from me, Noah, or I'm going to the police and telling them everything that happened at the club, and afterwards!" My trembling legs carry me away from him, still clutching the canister, as my heart threatens to burst out of my chest. I keep moving until I burst out of one of the emergency fire exits. The alarm sounds as I drop the canister and run back toward the parking lot. I should have never left my apartment. I'm not safe from him. I'll never be safe. He's never going to stop coming after me, or let me go.
CHAPTER 20
CORDELIE
"Girl, you can't stay locked up in our apartment hiding forever. I still think you should go to the police. I heard that guy from the club is really fucked up. He's denying that anyone attacked him, but come on, like he's wearing a permanent Joker grin now." Faye plops herself down on the sofa next to me, while I stare at my phone to avoid meeting her disappointed glance. I've been hiding since I pepper-sprayed Noah, and right now our apartment feels like the safest place for me to be. Faye found me on the floor of our bathroom sobbing, and clutching at my limbs, when she returned from school that afternoon. I finally confessed to her everything that happened at the club, and with Noah, and it was like a weight was lifting off of me. She didn’t judge me, no, instead she was mortified and furious. I had to physically restrain her from running out of the apartment with a large chef’s knife to stab Noah.
"Besides, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Are you really going to allow Noah Tisdale to ruin that for you too? I bet your mystery man will be hella disappointed if you don't show up." Her words have me clutching my phone tighter and engaging my lock screen. I haven't told her that I've been actively talking to mynaughty wolf through the app, even though I know she saw some of our messages before. She'd think I was crazy if I confessed that, right now, he's helping to keep me sane through this mess, and Noah's relentless attempts to contact me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I get a glimpse of the new flowers that have arrived on our breakfast counter, addressed to me, but without a card saying who they’re from. Yet another issue I don't have the energy to deal with. Who the hell keeps sending those to me? I want to believe that it's Noah, but if it is, why wouldn't he include a message?
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I stare at it with dread. It's another unknown number, which makes three just today. Who is calling me from all these unknown numbers day and night? The minute I block one, another one comes through. They leave me messages with just the sound of heavy breathing, and it’s freaking me the fuck out. I was already overwhelmed with everything that happened at the club, and afterwards with Noah, but all of this is driving me insane, and pushing me toward a complete breakdown. I'm afraid to leave the apartment, terrified to answer my phone, and I'm seeing monsters in the shadows, so I've started sleeping with all the lights on. Everything within me wants to get into my car, drive until I run out of gas, and get far away from here, but I lack the courage and conviction to actually do it.
"Girl, are you even listening to me? I'm really getting worried about you. None of this is healthy." I tuck my phone underneath my thigh on the cushion and finally meet Faye's worried gaze.
"It's not that simple, Faye. What the hell would I tell the police? That I'm terrified of Noah, but he's never hit me? That he fucked me ruthlessly and violently, but I asked him to do it, and afterwards ran for my life in terror, once I saw what he was capable of? I never once said no. I did what he demanded of me."I drag my hands down my face with exhaustion. "I've been over everything in my mind. He saved me from that rapist."
I raise my hand to stop her objection. "Yeah, Noah was a complete psycho with the way he went about it, but you know if that guy had actually raped me, what kind of hell I would be going through?" A shiver runs down my spine at the thought of that actually having happened. I take a deep, shuddering breath and reach for her hand, squeezing it tightly in mine. "They would have turned it around on me, you know that just as well as I do. It would have been about how much I had to drink, what I was wearing, and whether I was flirting with him. I... I couldn't go through that, Faye. Not on top of everything else, I'm not strong enough to withstand the storm that would have rocked me."
Faye squeezes my hand tightly, angling toward me with a crystal tear running down her face. "You're stronger than you think. You are a survivor, Cordie. You don't ever give yourself enough credit. Someone else going through all the shit you've had thrown at you the last couple of months would either be wearing a straitjacket, gone on a killing spree, or thrown themselves off a bridge. You've done none of that. You're still standing, fighting. You're braver than you believe, and I just wish you could see yourself the way I do."
Tears slide down my face, and I ugly sob loudly at her kind words. I don't know if I can believe that she thinks I'm that strong, but I'm in awe, and grateful for all her love and support. Everyone should have a Faye in their corner that will go to war for them. "Plus, I swear, girl, if NoahfuckingTisdale tries one more thing with you, I'm going to smile in my mugshot when I kill him. Shit, I’ll have a t-shirt drawn up with my face smiling, and his dead body at my feet, and I’ll invent a damn hashtag. You’ll see, I’ll be trending in a hot minute."
"Oh my God, Faye!" We both cackle, and I even snort, which sets her laughing so hard she can't breathe. Once I've caught mybreath, I pull her in for a tight hug. "What would I do without you, Faye? You're my damn rock."
She pulls back with a soft smile, swiping at her tears. "You'll never have to find out, girlie. You're stuck with me forever, no take-backs. Remember, it's you and me in the nursing home stirring up trouble. Those nurses don’t know what’s about to hit them." She pulls away after looking at the clock with an annoyed huff. "Shit, I'm late for class. Cordie, please don't stay locked up here. I can get Bryan, or one of the other guys, to come walk you to your classes. Don't give Noah what he wants. Don't let him take any more of your time and joy. That fucker doesn't deserve it. You need to live for you."
I know she's right, every word is a stepping stone to a stronger me. I just don't know if I have the courage to step out my front door knowing what awaits me out there. Can I bear to see Noah back with Josslyn? Should I even care about any of that? What about school? Am I prepared to fail all my classes, and not earn my degree, because I'm scared shitless of running into Noah Tisdale on campus?He's going to ruin your future, and like the coward you are, you're going to allow him to.
Then there's my Anti-Valentine’s wolf. Am I prepared to lose this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? I know shit didn't exactly feel right with Noah when he showed me exactly who he is. It wouldn't be the same, though. Noah took what he wanted from me; he lived his fantasy, not mine. None of what he did to me was for me. This primal date in the woods would fulfillmyfantasy, with a stranger that I don't owe a commitment to. Someone I can walk away from at the end of the night, and neither of us will ever see each other again. Faye's right, I can't allow Noah to keep destroying everything around me. He's already taken so much from me.
Faye's heading toward the door of our apartment, her bag slung over her shoulder. "Hey, Faye, will you ask Bryan if heminds walking me to class today? Oh, and you can give those fucking flowers to someone on campus, I don't want them here, they creep me out." I grab my phone and start heading in the direction of my bedroom, to change out of my ratty sweats and get ready to face the world.
"I'll do you one better, text me when you arrive on campus. I'll make sure both Bryan and I walk you to class. I want to see that fucker, Noah, try something with you. I'll rip his dick off and feed it to him." She rushes toward our small hall closet and digs inside, squealing with excitement once she finds something. She walks back over to me with a twinkle in her eye. "Throw that in your purse, girlie. We girls can never be too careful."
She hands me a small pocket knife, and I clutch its sleek, slim length tightly. A smile breaks across my face as she walks out the door, and I take the first deep, anxiety-free breath in days. Everyone needs a Faye in their lives. My goal should be to be more like her. Then I wouldn't get hurt as easily.
As I'm changing, my phone vibrates again, and I almost don't check it, thinking it will be another unknown caller or worse, an unknown text. I'm pleasantly surprised when I see it's a message from the Anti-Valentine's app.
Hey, Red. Twenty-four hours and counting, until I'm ravaging you and filling up that sweet pussy. I can't wait to taste you, beautiful.
Jesus, a wave of heat soars through my body at his naughty words, and puts a massive grin on my face. Faye's right, there's no way I'm allowing Noah to ruin this for me. Tomorrow night I'll beLittle Red Riding Hoodin the woods, and I can't wait to meet thebig bad wolf.
CHAPTER 21
CORDELIE
Ifeel vulnerable and exposed getting out of my car in what I'm wearing, and the visceral urge to retreat inside, lock my doors, and drive away, is a burning need within me. What the hell was I thinking? I can't fucking do this?
