He folded his arms. “Do you enjoy decisions being made for you?” he asked.
“Well, no. When you say it like that…”
He sighed. “Let me think.”
“I told you it was bad,” I said.
“It’s not so bad that we can’t rectify it,” he said. “I just need a second to think. Your cousin is… a complex fellow.”
“He is. He’s brave, and intelligent, and he’s funny,” I told him. “And he isn’t afraid to joke with me or alert me to my bad behavior. I need that! I really need that. I’m terribly ill-mannered when left to my own devices. What if he never speaks to me again, Elías? He vowed he wouldn’t and now he’s taking days off and requesting to speak to the Lord Commander about assignments!”
Eli watched me. He nodded. “He has to speak to you. It’s part of his job.”
“That’s whatIsaid, but he was very sure he could manage,” I argued. “He said I would have to live with his silence.”
“Live with his silence. What a very dramatic thing to say. I suppose there’s no question you’re related.”
I huffed, ignoring his remark. “Will you tell him that I’m sorry?” I asked. “Will you tell him that I don’t want him to leave? That I’ll do anything he wants, even grovel. Me! Groveling, Elías.”
“If you mean such things, the apology is better from you.” He sighed another time.
“Stop making that sound. Itoldyou it was bad!”
“Perhaps he is just not sure what to say to you,” Elías suggested. “If your argument occurred around the time of my arrival, then tensions were high for several reasons. Yes, the King’s passing affects you the greatest, but Ser Willoughby is both a knight. His monarch had just died, but he’s also related to the King. He spent time here as a child. He knew him personally. He had an argument with someone he cared about concerning the woman he’s keen on, then news of the death came. It’s hard to find apologies in times of loss. Death brings both the best and the worst out in us, and not everyone copes so well. Maybe Ser Willoughby needs time to process?”
I slumped. “If you say so. Though I don’t think he was particularly fond of my father. I’m not sure he’s upset over his death.”
“I assure you, all of us Blades are feeling something that impacts us,” he said. “As for your apology…” He moved his bishop. “Tell me about the Viscount. You said your cousin was worried about him bribing Miss Jocelyn?”
“Yes. Daniel’s previous engagement was arranged by his father. I don’t know who it was–they never announced it, but he says she was a socialite. That he felt she only wanted him for his position within society. Dan said he enlisted to encourage her to end the arrangement before it could be announced. His father was upset. He said he feared that he would catch wind of Miss Josie and that he would pay her not to marry him.”
“Do you think she would accept a bribe?” he asked.
“Absolutely not,” I said. “I think Miss Jocelyn is very much in love with Ser Willougby. But neither of them will say it to the other, and despite hearing it from me, they don’t seem convinced.”
“Ser Willoughby is well over Miss Jocelyn’s station. The Viscount even further. You don’t think the prospect of having to petition the King for permission to marry beneath him was intimidating?”
“No. I told Daniel that I would speak to my father about it. I told him that I would convince him to approve it. But now he’s gone. I…I…” I lost my train of thought. I moved a piece and he took it. “Wait, how did you take that?”
He took his second turn. “You left it open.”
“No, I–” I stopped. “Damn. I did.” I drew my knight back protectively.
He nodded. “Good. Better.”
“Obviously, I’ll apologize to Ser Willoughby, if you think that he will listen.”
“I think that if you want him to forgive you, the first step is to try,” he said. “But there’s still the underlying issue of the relationship you exposed. You should also apologize to Miss Jocelyn.”
“I mean, I would but…she doesn’t know I’ve outed her status as a widow.”
“Unless your cousin told her,” he said. “Would she tell if he had?”
I paused. “I… I don’t know. She likes secrets.”
“Regardless, he will in time. If their connection is as sound as you suggest, then eventually he will tell her that he knows, and she will know who told him. You should take responsibility for your actions and apologize before that happens,” he said. “Assuming you value her friendship.”
“I do! And you’re right,” I said. “I shall confess and apologize to her as soon as possible. I just…It just all feels so little. I wish I could do something to quell their fearsandapologize at the same time. I mean, I could write something up. A marriage license for him?”
