Elías looked up at me, then studied the game, defending the pawn I’d hoped to take. “Maybe.”
I adjusted in my chair. “And then there’s the matter of Sameer and Cyrus,” I added. “I’m feeling pretty lost with that. He’s to remain Sam’s witness. Why? Why wouldn’t he step down? Why wouldn’t Sameer evict him from the role?”
“Men’s friendships are different from those of women. The Prince and Will have been friends for many years.”
“But how am I supposed to marry a man I despise, while also existing moments away from the one I would literally die for? I thought that I wouldn’t have to see him again but then Sam’s letter told me to expect him at the church. And now, I keep thinking…What do I do when he’s standing at my door? Do I ignore him? Do I apologize? Do I run away and never take creditfor the wrongs I’ve committed because I am open to that idea, you know?”
“Right. That would be treason, I think,” Elías commented.
“Honestly, I’m asking you Eli. How am I supposed to ignore what happened for the rest of my life?”
“You don’t. You learn to live with it. By ignoring the affair, you disrespect both the boy and the Prince. If you wish for your marriage to work–and it must work–you must be clear with them both.”
I moved my bishop. “I’m not sure I care if it works. I mean, will Sameer even forgive me enough to entertain that idea?” I asked. “Do I care?”
“He will. Ifhewants the marriage to work,” he murmured. He copied my turn.
“Elías… I don’t think that I can do this,” I confessed.
“Of course you can,” he said. “Move your-”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No. Not the game! I’m being serious here. Mr. Evergreen is to be Sameer’s best man. He’ll stand right next to him in the cathedral. Right next to me. He’ll be barely further than the Prince is.”
“And?”
“And… What if they see?”
“Who?”
“Everyone. The kingdom. His family. Mine. What if everyone in the venue, everyone in the world sees how I long for Cyrus Evergreen? What if they see how I love him and how I don’t love their prince?”
“It’s your turn,” he said.
I hastily moved, the pawn was taken.
“Focus.”
I tried, randomly choosing a course.
“There you go,” he said. “I’ll retreat.”
I looked down. “...D4?” I said.
“Are youaskingme or telling me?” he checked.
I shook my head. “I’m frightened I will fail Oreia. I know that this is all my fault. I know that I deserve it, but I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to hurt our country the way I’ve hurt myself.”
He took another pawn.
“Damn it,” I muttered.
“Svana, I let the first two ‘damns’ slide,” he said. “There won’t be a third.”
I groaned pathetically, muttering. “Even as Queen I cannot curse.”
“Castle yourself,” he offered. “Better safe than sorry.”
“And I should trust you?” I asked. “You’re my opponent.”
