Julian wriggles on his mother’s lap to go join the others, probably enticed by the snacks. Sophie lets him go, but not without pressing a quick kiss on his head.
“So, yeah, I think the next few weeks are going to be tough on him,” she continues. “Why do you think I told you to bring your kids here?”
“I thought it would be better by now.” My voice is weak. “And Océa—”
“And let me tell you,” she interrupts, wagging her index finger, “that man is not the only one with unhealthy attachments to his family, ma’am.”
“What?” I look over at Océane, making sure her focus is still not on us. “Karan said he was fine with her living with us.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t ask him first.”
“Yeah, but he agreed with it after all.”
“Rachel, that’s not the point.” Sophie sighs and shakes her head. “You were like this with Will, too, you know. You put allof this weight on your own shoulders and somehow believe that you’re responsible for everyone’s well-being.”
“That’s because I am.”
“Are you, though?”
“My parent a—”
“Are no longer in your life.” Sophie clasps my hands in hers, quieting her voice, her big blue eyes bore into me. “Look at them.”
I take a look at Will and Océane again, seeing that Océane is now play-wrestling with Will.
Fuck, he’s going to hurt her.
No, he’s not. He knows what he’s doing. He’s not an idiot.
Sophie chuckles. “I was about to say, look at them, and see how they’re adults. But now they’re acting like kids, so it’s not really helping my point.”
“I know they’re adults.”
Will is, in fact, older than me. But Océane is twenty-one years old. She’s an adult, but barely. With our age difference, she was practically my baby.
“But…” I look back at Sophie, my lower lip trembling. “You said it yourself. Our parents are gone. She’s got no one else.”
Sophie huffs. “Oh yeah? Fuck me and Will, then.”
“That’s not what I mean—”
“No, that’s what I’m talking about, Rach.” She squeezes my hands tighter. “I know you don’t mean it as an insult, and I don’t take it as one. Your trauma has you convinced that you’re the only one you can trust to take care of the people you love. Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s bullshit.
“You arenotalone, Rachel. You haven’t been alone in a long time. And if you don’t believe me…” She lifts her nose in the direction of my siblings again. “Maybe you should talk to them. See what they have to say. And actually listen instead of making assumptions about who’s capable of what.”
Before I have a chance to reply—or even think through anything—Sophie whistles loudly. The entirety of the room stops what they’re doing and looks in our direction.
“Will. Océane. It’s sibling talk time. Rachel needs some air, so why don’t you go with her?”
“I do no—”
“Shut up and go talk to your family,” she whispers in my ear before pushing me off the couch and forcing me to stand.
Oh, well, shit. Looks like this is happening.
The three of us, all bundled up in our warmest winter gear, don’t say a word at first as we begin our walk down the street. Only the ambient sound of the city, along with the crunching of our boots against the crackling snow and ice covering the sidewalk, keeps us company.
I purposefully walk at a slow pace to give Océane a chance. It seems like she’s having a good day, from the way she’s been goofing around with Will and the kids, but still. I don’t want to exaggerate and take too big a risk.
