But it does feel like I hit on a sensitive issue.I’ve written a lot about how trapped the women must have felt in some of these cash for title arrangements, but at least some men resented the need for them as well, apparently.I don’t feeltoobad for them, though, because in this arrangement, they have more choices and more power.
“Well.You still need to move with haste before the fair maidens lose their hearts, and purses, to other fair suitors.”
Leo tilts his head at me.“You do not have a high opinion on romance?”
“You’re literally trying to marry a woman because of her fortune.Doyouhave a high opinion on romance?”
“I did not used to.Mother and Father began as a love match, and that love did not seem to last much longer than us children being born, if even that long.But my father genuinely loved his mistress.Not just as a diversion but as someone heneededto spend time with.So much that he sacrificed everything just to be with her all the time.Not that he had a lot to sacrifice since he went through most of his fortune and Mother’s by the time he left.But he did sacrifice his reputation and family for her.Since he did it, I wondered what it would be like to feel so strongly for someone.To love someone to the point of ruin.Dangerous, but intriguing.”
“That’s unexpectedly romantic, in a messed up way.When we met, I thought you said you were only concerned with a good time.What happened to that?”
“Father made being in love, true love, seem like a good time.The ultimate good time if he was willing to sacrifice his lifestyle for it.Not that best time for us, but he seemed happy enough walking out the door to his new life.I want to love someone like that.And I would like to be loved like that.Although without all the destruction, preferably.”
“So, you’re not a rake?”
That makes him laugh.“I never said I was.”
“I assumed.What with the loving of good times and the flirting with everything that moves.”
Leo tilts his head.“And who else, aside from rich heiresses, have I flirted with?”
“Well, you know.”I don’t want to say it out loud.My cheeks are already starting to burn at just the thought of it.
“I don’t.”
“Me.”
“I like you.”
I clear my throat and shift.“And the heiresses.”I focus on the fact that he is pre-spoken for.
“That is necessity.”
I hold his gaze for longer than I’m comfortable with, wishing for more than is reasonable right now.
We’ve been standing outside the palace for the entire conversation.Anne will wonder what’s taking so long and come get me soon.She’d be wrong if she thought licentious things were happening.
Not that both of us aren’tthinkinglicentious things, but even in the Victorian era, thinking about sex isn’t illegal.Just frowned upon.And even that only publicly.I’ve seen your private pornography, Victorians.I know the secrets you keep.Filthy, naked, hot and sometimes confusing secrets.
“I really should go.”But I don’t move toward the palace door.
“Yes.”Leo doesn’t move either.Until I reach for the doorknob, then he jumps into action, opening it before I or the guard can get to it.
“There’s a ball tonight,” Leo says.
“Another one?”I’m aghast.When do these people find time to run the country, or take all those resources from India if they’re constantly drinking Madeira and dancing in formation?It’s mind-boggling.
“We are committed to balls.”
I snicker.“I bet you just love the balls.”I can’t help myself.None of my students would respect me if I had just let it sit there.Iwouldn’t respect me.
Leo looks confused and I wave him away.I don’t have the energy to explain that I have a dirty mind.
“If Her Majesty wants to go, I’ll see you there.”I turn and walk inside before we spend another hour saying goodbye.I’m getting worse than my mother, who has to say bye to my aunts or her friends about twelve times over the course of fourty-five minutes before she means it.I know; I’ve timed it, sitting in the car ready to go because I believed her when she said we were leaving a family party.
Like an amateur.
“Wait, were you laughing because I accidentally said the English like bollocks?”
