Then he closes the distance between our mouths, his full lips softly caressingly mine in little butterfly touches that make contact, withdraw and make contact again, repeating the process until I’m half-wild with wanting more.But, because he’s irritating, he keeps it light.
I make a sound of frustration that doubles as a demand for more, abandoning all my principles of not getting involved in the past while I pull his shoulders in.
I slip my tongue past his lips, deepening the kiss as I drag him closer.His kiss warms me from my lips out to my extremities, giving me contentment and making me ravenous for more at the same time.
I don’t feel like a boring option right now.With the way Leo reciprocates with enthusiasm, wrapping his strong arms around my waist so I’m surrounded by the feel of a wall of books on one side, and a wall of man on my other, it makes me feel like I’m as exciting as the people I read about, doing daring things and changing history.If I had any doubt that Leo’s frenzied movements were a lie, the hard length he presses against me is impossible to refute.
The scents of the leather-bound books swirl with Leo’s faint smell of bergamot, making a very specific catnip of my now two favorite things: books and kissing Leo.
We shift and slide against each other, trying to get more contact in the embrace, in the process accidentally knocking a book off the shelf.The sound of heavy object hitting the rug in the quiet space, although muted, is enough to make me jerk my head up and away.
Leo reacts slower, and when denied access to my mouth, leaves a trail of kisses on my chin and neck while one firm hand grips my neck to stop my retreat, and the other on my breast.Making me forget why I was pulling away but making me feel even more desirable.Not even the threat of scandal and his new attempts at responsibility can drag him away.
But then other sounds filter in, and I think I hear footsteps.Or I’m paranoid about them and everything sounds like footsteps, so I push Leo away, almost knocking him into the opposite shelf.He resists for a half-second, before he makes a sound of frustration and pulls himself completely away.
Well, I’ve never done that in a library before.
Instead of saying anything, and because I have no idea what I even would say after that amazing kiss, I turn and walk out of the library, telling Anne we’re ready to go on the way, and then leave the school.Once outside, Leo silently signals for his carriage, and we get into it.Leo tries to make conversation, but I take the coward’s way and keep my responses monosyllabic.Even some nods and grunts.
Because even though he makes me feel more wanted than anyone in my time, things can’t go further.I have to go back to that time; I can’t be attached to the handsome rake in the past.Who is actively trying to marry someone who is not me.
Also: condoms?They’ve moved on from animal intestine and bladder “skin” condoms, so at least there’s that.But I don’t know where to get the rubber ones.And what if he prefers the skin condoms?Because initial market research on myself says no, I’m not ready for nineteenth-century condoms.
And what if time travel interfered with my IUD?Like antibiotics and the pill.
Nope.This is all too much for me to handle.So, I won’t.
Leo is letting me have my delusion that the kiss in the library didn’t happen, but he’s not going to let me forget he exists.“I could take you to Cambridge,” he says in a whisper.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”Sure, I need to go.But with Leo?That’s too much temptation.
“No, most likely not.But at least you do not have to tell me why…” He looks at Anne and clears his throat.“And my family seat is out that way, so it would be natural for me to go.”
“Not with me,” I whisper.
“No, most likely not.”He has a decidedly rakish smile on now.“But if you find your answers, it will not matter what people are saying about you.And we could do it quietly.”
I don’t have many options.I don’t have the money or resources to get there any other way.Still.If I do have to stay, that will ruin me.“We’ll see what the queen thinks about it.”Or if I can think of a way to do this without becoming London’s most scandalous woman.Which is not something I thought I would ever have to worry about, frankly.“But thank you for the offer.”
“I shall be here should you change your mind.”
“Thank you, again.”The kiss has made things awkward between us.I don’t regret it, even though I should.Maybe Leo is having a bigger effect on me than I thought.
Because all I hear now is the newly discovered irresponsible side of me, telling me forcefully to tear off my multiple layers of clothes and throw myself at the arrogant marquess.Right in this carriage.Anne be damned.
I could use some of my responsible side, throwing cold water on me with statistics and well-reasoned arguments and maybe a pie chart about why this is a bad idea.Even my irresponsible side can’t argue with a well-executed pie chart.
But the responsible coward is nowhere to be found, leaving me watching Leo warily and hungerly out of my peripherals in this carriage.
“I will see you tomorrow,” Leo says when we stop in front of the palace and get out of the carriage, after Anne has already made her way inside, probably assuming I would be right behind her.
“You don’t have to come every day.The plan is already working; you must have rich heiresses to call on too.Before they can be swooped up by someone else.”
“They are not mice, and I am not a hawk.”
“Sorry.Should I add more romance to the marriage mart?”
“Just the illusion of it, thank you.So I do not feel like all I have to offer this world is my name and seed.”He looks at me expectantly—to see if I’ll faint at his crudeness?Good luck with that; I teach college.
