“Scarlett, this is Doctor Manson.”
“Hello, Scarlett,” I heard him say.
His voice was older. Not as old as the Leaders voices, but older than Azrael’s. It was kind, soft, warm, and he called me by my name. None of the church’s doctors called me that.
The silence lasted four Mississippi’s. “Why don’t you stay, Z.”
Z. A nickname. Maybe it was because of his assignments. He had given his friends nicknames to protect them, perhaps he had given the doctor a nickname instead of his name to protect himself.
Azrael stepped into the room and looked back, waiting.
I could feel a chill slither down my neck as I stepped in after him. I had never been in this room before, so making my way over to the table was a little difficult, but neither of them said a word.
The table was covered in paper, just like the others I had been on.
I climbed up, allowing the habit to take over, my mind drifting as I laid down on my back, lifted my knees, and spread them.
I imagined Azrael’s eyes, his voice, the way his hand had felt around mine when he let me hold his cane—
Blue eyes appeared above me, staring directly into my soul. “Close your legs, little sinner. You spread them only for me now.”
I blinked again, confusion filling me.“But the D.O.C.T.O.R.needs to look.”
His eyes flashed and then hardened. “Not there. Sit up.” He disappeared from above me.
I pushed myself to a sit after a moment of hesitation, scooting to the edge of the table, keeping my eyes low as I pressed my knees together.
“Sign language?” the doctor asked.
“She needs a way to communicate. Right now, that’s all she has.”
“How long have you been working with her?”
“A week,” Azrael answered evenly. “Did you hear me, Scarlett?”
Hear him? Just now?“Yes.”
“When you were on your back,” he clarified.
“No,”I answered. He hadn’t said a word.
“Disassociation,” he told the doctor. “The SSRIs wouldn’t cause that.”
“Trauma would,” he answered, his chair rolling around the floor until knees appeared in front of me.
I quickly closed my eyes, my heart skipping a beat. I almost saw his face. I almost looked him in the eye.
“You’re allowed to look at him,” Azrael told me. “We are now our true selves.”
Our true selves.
The Hatter and the Queen.
Were we in his Wonderland yet? Was this where it began?
I looked up, finding his eyes instantly. Haunting and familiar. I studied him carefully, my heart pounding as the thoughts filled my mind. I should ask him. He told me I had that power, to choose. I had the power to learn to be his equal, and if I was his equal, then I deserved to know the truth, didn’t I?
I swallowed and lifted my hands, hoping he didn’t see the slight tremble in them.“Are you going to change?”
