He searched my eyes, sliding his hands into his pockets, straightening. “Change?”
“I don’t have a choice in marrying you,”I explained, his eyes narrowing,“but you have a choice. Will you take your quiet rage out on me? Will the punishments begin when the doors are closed?”
He lifted his chin, his expression relaxing ever so slightly. “The only punishments you will receive are the ones you beg for. Whether they remain willing on your end the whole way through?” he shrugged. “That has yet to be determined.”
I felt the muscles around my eyes squint and relax. I never wanted to be punished.
He took a step forward and then stopped, his ocean eyes storming. “I will not turn into them, but you are right. You don’t have a choice.”
I lowered my hands, studying him, taking him in entirely. Even now, in this small doctor’s office, he looked like some sortof vengeful god. Black and red, Devil mask, the way he stood, his presence taking up every ounce of space he could.
It didn’t matter, in the long run, if I believed him or not because I had to marry him anyway. So, I let the conversation die and asked,“your W.O.N.D.E.R.L.A.N.D?”
“We’re still fighting to get there.” His eyes flicked to the doctor’s and back before he straightened. “He’s Absolem, so pay attention. Do as he says. He’s trying to see if the church was lying again.”
Absolem? Absolem was smart. He always said the right things, always tried to look after Alice. He was loyal to no one and everyone. Now he was choosing to be loyal to my Hatter, which meant he was safe.
Azrael must have seen what he wanted because he started to turn away again. “I need to call someone.”
I straightened at that.“Rose?”
He paused, his phone in his hand. “Yes.” He headed for the corner without another word.
I watched him a moment later before turning to the doctor, instinctively dropping my eyes only to shake my head slightly and force them back up. His lips were as far as I could go before the tightness in my chest became too much.
He was smiling at me, wrinkles around his mouth and neck. He was wearing a suit, just like Azrael, except his was blue, a darker blue than Absolem, but still blue. “You likeAlice’s Adventures in Wonderland?” he asked, pulling on latex gloves.
I watched the movement, trying to control my own fear. He was good. Azrael said so. Absolem would never hurt the Queen of Hearts in our story, never.“Yes,”I signed with a shaking hand.
He must have tracked my gaze because then he said, “it’s for sanitation reasons. To protect anything from my hands getting on your skin. Z gave me as much information as he thought was necessary for me to do my job,” he explained. “Normally, I wouldbe authorized to report what was found, but my contract with him states that anything, no matter what it is, is confidential. Even if my oath as a doctor say otherwise.
“We are here today, Scarlett, to make sure that you are healthy. To make sure that the medication you are taking is the right thing for you.”
He must have been talking about the pills in my cabinet. I’ve been taking them for as long as I could remember. They were dropped off with my groceries once a month. I was to always take them or else I would be punished.
“But we are also going to test other things like reflexes, lungs, and heart. We will even do what’s called a ‘sonogram’. Have you ever heard of a sonogram?”
I glanced to Azrael. His back was to me, his phone to his ear.“No,”I signed, turning back to the doctor.
“It’s a kind of flashlight that allows us to see inside of you. It’s my job to make sure that the doctors who have worked on you in the past didn’t mess anything up in a way that might need to be fixed, okay? Now, you said you likedAlice’s Adventures in Wonderland. What do you like most about it?” he asked, turning to his tray of tools.
I glanced at the tray. I felt the fear tighten my chest as my hand found my head.“Hatter.”
He glanced up when I didn’t respond, catching the tail end of what I had done. “Hatter?” he asked, his smile widening. “He’s a lovely character. Have you seen the movie? Not the cartoon one, but the one that came out in 2010?”
My eyes widened, my heart skipping a beat for an entirely different reason. There was a movie? No, I never watched it. I wasn’t allowed to watch anything.
I looked over to Azrael, his back was still to me. I wanted to watch that movie. I wanted to see it. I wanted to see how they brought my favorite world to life.
I stared at him, willing him to turn around as the doctor stood. I could see his shoulders tensing. He knew I was watching him, I knew he knew.
Irritation filled me. Why wasn’t he turning around?
I glared at his back, but he still ignored me. He even straightened, as if telling me he was ignoring me.
I frowned deeply and turned back to the tools, looking over them until I found the one that looked the heaviest.
I picked it up and flung it at his head.
