‘Don’t you think it might have been a slightly selfish thing to do?’ I ask carefully.
‘It probably wasn’t my finest hour, but there’s a world of difference between a single selfish act and being selfish all the time, isn’t there?’
‘Go on.’
‘I mean, I’ve given up lots of things for her in the past. To say I’m selfish, just because of one thing I did, that’s not fair.’
‘What things?’
‘Eh?’
‘What things have you given up?’
‘I can’t name them right now when you put me on the spot, but I did stuff for her. She also said I was lazy, and she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life picking my clothes up off the floor because I couldn’t be arsed.’
I move my eyes to the pile of clothes he swept off the bed earlier and raise my eyebrows.
‘I was going to put those away tomorrow,’ he says sheepishly.
‘OK, so she called you selfish and lazy. Anything else?’
‘She told me I either had to take the car back right now or that was the end of us. I tried to explain that it was a private sale and I couldn’t just take it back, but that just made her even angrier. She shouted that we were over and she never wanted to see me again, before storming out and slamming the door behind her.’
‘How did you feel?’
‘How do you think I felt? She’d basically carried out a wholly unfair character assassination of me.’
‘So then, when she got in touch to tell you to sell your ticket to me…’ I prompt.
‘Yeah. She said she’d found someone else to share the room so naturally I thought she’d moved on already, which made me even angrier with her. What better way to punish her foreverything she’d said and done than being all the things she’d accused me of?’
I sigh. ‘And how’s that working out for you?’
He smiles ruefully. ‘Not great. I assumed I’d pitch up at the airport, triumphantly deliver the news to the new boyfriend that she wasn’t coming so he might as well fuck off home, before having ten days in the Caribbean to savour my victory. Instead, I got you, and everything else is just reminding me of her and what I’ve lost.’
‘You’ve really made a mess of this, haven’t you,’ I tell him gently.
He nods. ‘I just wish I could put it right. I’d even sell the bloody car, because every time I look at it, I just feel miserable.’
‘This is a really stupid question, but have you tried apologising?’
He looks suddenly indignant. ‘Why should I apologise? She was the one who called me all those names.’
‘Yes, but you were being a bit of a dick, Throbbert. If you apologised for that, maybe she’d apologise for calling you selfish, lazy, and the other things.’
‘I don’t know. I mean, she was pretty cut up about the holiday too. I’m not sure there’s anything to be gained.’
‘Let me ask the question a different way. Deep down, you still love her, don’t you?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Hmm. I don’t think you’d have been crying the way you were if you didn’t. If you could wave a magic wand and go back in time, would you do things differently?’
‘Of course I would!’
‘How?’
He thinks for a moment. ‘Maybe I could have been less… Oh, I don’t know. She isn’t completely blameless, you know.’
