‘Yes, please. Tea without poison would be lovely, if you’re making it.’
We lapse into silence while I carry the kettle into the bathroom to fill it, before plugging it in and waiting for it to boil.
‘Right,’ I tell him when I’ve placed two steaming mugs on the bedside table and climbed back into my bed. ‘Why don’t you tell me what happened?’
He sighs deeply. ‘We had a big row. I mean, we’d argued before, but this was seismic.’
‘What about?’
‘To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure. I mean, I know the thing that started it, but it was one of those rows that just grew and grew and, by the end, it was like she was carpet bombing everything about me and our relationship.’
I take a sip of my tea. I made it deliberately strong in the hope it would start to force my addled brain into life. Something tells me this isn’t going to be a short conversation, and I’m going to need every ounce of tact I have if I’m going to stop him closing up on me.
13
‘OK, start at the beginning,’ I say to Robert. ‘What was the thing that triggered the row?’
‘It was this holiday, in a roundabout way,’ he replies. ‘We were supposed to be saving to raise some money so we could buy a house and move in together, so I was a bit surprised and put out when she announced that she’d signed us up for an all-inclusive in the Caribbean.’
‘Did you tell her you were unhappy about it?’
‘I did, but she told me to lighten up and stop being such a killjoy.’
I try not to smile. Killjoy is exactly what he’s been on this holiday so far.
‘What did you say?’ I ask.
‘It was a pretty short conversation. She’d already told Amy that we were both coming, and she said that we were both working so hard it would be good for us to take a little break. I told her a little break was a trip to the Isle of Wight, or something like that, not bloody Jamaica, but she stuck to her guns, saying it wouldn’t push our plans back by much.’
‘So, you came around to the idea.’
‘Not really. I mean, if I was going to spend that much money, I’d want to spend it on something to make me happy, not sodding navel gazing at a hideously expensive spa, surrounded by all her friends. I was a bit pissed off about it, and I felt manipulated if I’m completely honest.’
‘You resented it.’
‘Yes. So I decided to make a point.’
‘Which was?’
‘To spend the same amount on something for me.’
I can see where this is going. ‘What did you buy?’
‘A car. Well, not just any car. A classic MGB from 1975. I’ve wanted one for ages and I guess I thought “fuck it”. If I don’t do it now, I’ll be up to my ears in mortgage until I’m too old to even get in it.’
‘Let me get this straight,’ I tell him. ‘You were so annoyed at the cost of this holiday that, rather than trying to talk Fliss out of it, you went and spent even more on this classic car? Seems a little counterintuitive to me, if you were trying to save money. How much did you spend?’
‘It was, umm, a bit more than the holiday.’
‘How much?’
‘Just under eight grand. I got a bit carried away.’
‘Bloody hell, Robert.’
‘That’s a lot more polite than what she said.’ He laughs humourlessly. ‘She was furious. I tried to explain that, unlike a holiday where the money just goes up in smoke, the car would probably keep its value or even be an investment, but she was beyond listening by then. She called me every name under the sun and, of course, the more she did that, the more I dug my heels in. The real clincher was when she called me selfish, though.’
If the cap fits, I think to myself, but once again I manage not to say it.
