‘Of course you are,’ Amy simpers as she pulls me into one of those awkward A-frame hugs that always feel a bit insincere tome. ‘I’msoopleased to meet you. We’re going to have the best time ever.’ She grabs Lily’s hand again and, as if she hasn’t put on enough of a show already, decides to burst into song at full volume.
‘Whoah! We’re going to Jamaica,’ she bellows as she swings Lily’s hand back and forth. ‘Whoah! Back to the island. Whoah! We’re gonna get you pregnant. Whoah! In the Caribbean sea!’
‘Wasn’t the original song about Ibiza?’ Dan asks her.
‘Artistic licence,’ Amy tells him smugly. ‘Did you like what I did there?’
‘Hmm. Well, I don’t think anyone in the departure lounge is in any doubt as to the purpose of our trip. Where’s the man?’
‘Distracted by the Duty Free,’ Amy says before lowering her voice, finally, to what she probably thinks is a conspiratorial whisper, but is still audible from several feet away. ‘Entre nous, I suspect he’s buying me a present. I’ve been dropping heavy hints about the new fragrance from Christian Dior so, if he knows what’s good for him – that’s me, by the way – he’ll be picking up a bottle as we speak. Oh, fuck. What’shedoing here?’
We all turn to see what she’s looking at, and my gaze lands on a tall, dark-haired man striding purposefully towards us. Unlike most of the people in the departure lounge, who seem to be in good spirits as they look forward to wherever they’re going, his coal-black eyes are blazing and his mouth is set in a thin, pinched line.
‘Morning, all,’ he says tightly when he reaches us.
‘Robert!’ Amy exclaims. ‘What a coincidence. Where are you off to?’
So this is the famous Robert, I think to myself as he looks at Amy with thinly veiled contempt.
‘Jamaica, of course,’ he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
‘Well, it’s lovely to see you and everything,’ Amy tells him uncertainly. ‘But Fliss will be joining us at any moment so it’s probably best if you, umm, you know, to avoid a scene. Have a lovely holiday. Where are you staying?’
‘Fliss isn’t coming,’ he says, and I’m taken aback by the venom in his voice as he practically spits out her name.
‘What?’
‘I said’ – he slows his speech as if speaking to someone particularly dim – ‘Fliss… isn’t… coming.’
‘But we need her,’ Amy persists. ‘Otherwise we won’t get the group discount.’
‘For fuck’s sake, Amy,’ Robert snarls. ‘I know you’re not sodding Einstein, but I never realised you were this congenitally thick. Fliss isn’t coming, because I am.’
‘But…’ Amy seems to have run out of words and her face crumples as she starts to cry. Lily immediately wraps her arms around her, while shooting daggers at Robert.
‘Bit strong, mate,’ Dan says gently. ‘Do you mind telling us what happened?’
‘Simple,’ Robert growls. ‘Fliss texted me to say she was coming on the holiday after all, and I needed to contact the travel agent so they could arrange for my ticket to be transferred to someone else. Anyway, her tone was all “just do as you’re told, Robert” as per bloody normal lately, so I thought,Fuck you. Why should you get to enjoy a holiday in the Caribbean after the way you treated me?So I rang the agent and swapped her ticket instead. She hit the roof when I told her what I’d done, but I reckon it serves her right.’
I’m flabbergasted. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so horrible before. I’m not exactly keen on Amy from what I’ve seen of her so far, but she’s a walk in the park compared to Robert. As I study him, trying to work out what on earth Fliss saw in him,besides his brooding good looks, the full realisation of what he’s done dawns on me.
‘Umm, Robert,’ I begin. ‘It’s not for me to judge the rights and wrongs of your relationship with Fliss?—’
‘Ex-relationship,’ he interjects roughly.
‘Ex-relationship,’ I repeat soothingly. ‘But did Fliss mention her roommate at all?’
‘Oh, yes. She was practically bursting to tell me that she’d be sharing a room. Couldn’t wait for the dust to settle before hopping on a new guy, could she? Well, he’s in for a surprise, let me tell you, and I’ll have a few choice words for the bastard when he shows up. Anyway, who the hell are you?’
‘I’m Tori, the roommate,’ I tell him.
I can practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he tries to digest this information and its implications.
‘But you’re a woman,’ he says accusingly after what seems like an age.
‘I am,’ I agree.
‘So, what. Fliss is into girls now, is that it?’
