Whatever I expected him to say, it wasn’t that. ‘I have no idea what Fliss is into,’ I tell him coolly after I’ve recovered my composure. ‘But I can assure you the room share was purely platonic. However, I’m sure you can understand that you taking her place like this causes a bit of an issue.’
A normal person would realise the error of their ways, the impossible situation his actions have put us in, and apologise. Robert, however, is evidently not a normal person.
‘It was my room before it was yours,’ he says simply. ‘So it’s up to you. Sleep on the couch or sleep on the beach. I couldn’t give a damn either way.’
I stare at him in horror. He’s absolutely unbelievable and I can’t understand what on earth a lovely woman like Fliss thought she was doing dating him. There’s absolutely no way I’msharing a room with this man though. I mean, sharing a room with a strange man is pretty much top of the ‘things you just don’t do’ list, but I’d rather pluck out my own eyes than share with Robert. Lily obviously senses my discomfort as she releases a still-snivelling Amy and takes my hand.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she says quietly. ‘I had no idea this had happened. I’m sure we can sort something out when we get to the other end though. If we all need to chip in to get you your own room, we will.’
‘I’m not chipping in for anything,’ Robert states firmly.
‘Of course you aren’t,’ Lily murmurs so quietly that only I can hear her. ‘No wonder he and Fliss didn’t work out.’
‘There you are, baby!’ Amy suddenly exclaims as another man, presumably her boyfriend, approaches. When I turn my gaze to look at him, I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Someone on high is having a fucking laugh, because he’s probably the only person in the world I want to spend less time with than the frankly vile Robert.
‘Tori,’ Amy gushes as the newcomer spots me for the first time and his face also drops. ‘I don’t think you’ve met my boyfriend, Stuart. Stuart, this is Tori.’
8
I’m aware of Amy prattling on, but I’ve tuned her out. All I can think about is what the hell I can have done to deserve karma as bad as this. This is, by some margin, the most expensive holiday I’ve ever been on, we haven’t even boarded the plane yet, and it’s already turning out to be the worst. I’m wracking my brains trying to think if there’s any way of getting out of this. Maybe I could make myself violently ill, so they won’t let me on the plane, and then I could claim the money back on the insurance. There’s an oyster bar over there. Everyone’s got a bad oyster story, haven’t they? No. Food poisoning won’t kick in quickly enough. I glance over at the chemist. I wonder if there’s anything in there that could make me violently ill in the next hour?
‘Tori?’ Amy’s voice pushes itself back into my consciousness and I force myself to look at her.
‘Sorry?’
‘I was asking whether you were OK. You look a little peaky, all of a sudden.’
‘I’m fine,’ I bluster. ‘It was an early start. I, umm, probably just need to sit down.’
‘Good idea,’ Amy agrees. ‘Come on, everyone, let’s find some seats.’
She sets off without so much as a backward glance. Lily and Dan follow immediately, obviously used to being bossed around by Amy. Robert watches them depart for a moment before growling, ‘Fuck that. I’m going to the pub,’ and heading off in the opposite direction, leaving Stuart and me alone.
‘Just be cool, OK?’ he murmurs quietly. ‘What Amy doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Pretend we’ve never met.’
‘Are you mad?’ I ask, equally quietly. ‘That’s got about as much chance of working as I have of becoming Pope. How long have you two been together?’
‘A couple of years,’ he admits.
‘You lowlife, cheating bastard,’ I hiss. ‘I can’t believe I let myself be fooled by you again.’
‘I don’t remember you complaining at the time,’ he says with a smile. ‘There was some moaning, but?—’
‘Shut up,’ I interrupt, aware that I’m already blushing furiously at the memory. ‘Where was Amy on New Year’s Eve? Bloody hell, was that her bed? I think I’m going to throw up.’
He looks genuinely alarmed now. Good. The more he squirms the better. God knows, I feel bad enough about being complicit in his infidelity.
‘Chill the hell out, will you?’ he whispers. ‘You’re bound to give the game away with a face like that. Amy didn’t fancy coming to London for New Year’s, so I rented an Airbnb for the night so I could stay out late and party.’
‘Why not stay with your brother? Is it because he’s a decent human being who didn’t want a scumbag like you in the house?’
‘They did invite me, actually. I love Lily and Dan, but they’re not exactly night owls, know what I mean?’
‘Mm. And the fact that it also gave you a convenient bachelor pad for whatever unsuspecting victim you managed to lure backnever crossed your filthy mind, I bet. Why shouldn’t I tell Amy what you did?’
He pretends to consider for a moment. ‘Umm, let’s see. One, it would break her heart for no good reason. Two, I’d just say you were lying, that I’d told you I had a girlfriend, but you just kept coming on to me. And now, you’re just making shit up to get back at me for giving you the brush-off. It’s your word against mine, and she doesn’t know you like she knows me. Trust me, I could make sure you come out of it looking like a sex-crazed stalker if I put my mind to it. Look. I get that this is an awkward situation, but nothing good will come from telling Amy anything. What goes on tour stays on tour, OK?’
‘So, what? I’m just supposed to pretend we never met?’
