“And you can get that from him, I’m assuming? The same one that left depleted. When I met you, you were stressed out and doubting yourself. Look at you now. And let’s talk about this stability and security shit because I’ve never made you feel unsafe. You know what you’re telling me right now is bullshit and excuses. Don’t forget that I seeyou.”
“I’m scared, Jah. I know what to expect from him.”
“I love you, Tatiyonna, and I get it. I just want you to know that you’re worth it. I’ll hold my love for you because I know he’s going to fuck up again, and I’ll be right here waiting on you. You hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Now get off my dick, you’re staying with me tonight.”
“I can’t, Jah.”
I pulled my pants up and stared at her. “What did I just say? You owe me this last time, Tatiyonna. Matter fact, just so you know, I’m not playing, leave your car and come on.”
I ran us a bath when I got to the house. She knew her way around my house, but she was acting like a stranger, and that made me feel like shit. Was this what she meant by security? I walked up to her and pulled her to me.
“Can you please not act like you haven’t been over here before? What do I need to do to make you comfortable? I understand this is it for us, but I want to make love to you and just hold you one last time. What do you need from me?” I lifted her chin so she could look at me.
“I’m fine, Jah.”
“You sure? If you want me to take you back, I will. I don’t want you acting like we’re strangers.”
“I want to be here.”
I kissed her and let her go.
“The bath is ready. I’ll join you shortly.”
As she went to my room, I had to take a shot. My heart was aching, but I couldn’t show it. I didn’t want her to feel guilty about the decision she made. I wanted her to pick me because she wanted to, not because of guilt. A few deep breaths, I walked upstairs and joined her in the tub. I wasn’t in a rush to have sex with her. I just wanted her in my presence. We stared at each other for a minute before she turned around and leaned against me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
My heart was telling me everything was going to be alright after tonight, but I knew deep down, I would probably never see her again on this level. She wasn’t the type to cheat and I wouldn’t want her to. We see where this shit got us. Falling in love and can’t be together in the end. I guess she could feel my stress. She grabbed my soap and lathered it up so she could bathe me. In return, I did the same thing. Once we dried off, we were in bed, just quiet. I was holding her and she was holding on to my arms. If this was what it felt like to get your heart broken, I didn’t want to feel this shit ever again.
Tatiyonna rolled over so we were face to face and placed a sensual kiss on my lips.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too, baby.”
“I know.” She let the tear roll from her eyes.
I let her go and wiped her tears before I went down to my favorite place. Placing her legs on my shoulders, I eat her pussy until she was crying from pleasure. Once she was satisfied and drained, I reached over to my nightstand to grab a condom, but she stopped me.
“Just one last time, Jah. Whatever happens, happens.”
I slid in slowly, and we both released a moan that echoed off the walls. The way our bodies connected, we were meant to be. As she whispered my name in my ear, I tried to block it out and focus.
“I love you, Tatiyonna. You are my everything, baby,” I told her. “This will forever be my pussy.”
“Yes, baby.”
Hearing her lie in my ear infuriated me. She was leaving here today to go and be with a man who would never love her on the level that I would. As I felt my nut build, I tried to pull out, but she grabbed me around my neck and wrapped her legs tightly around me. I was able to release, but I was sure some still got inside of her.
“Tatiyonna, that shit wasn’t cool. Make sure to take a Plan B. I don’t want to deal with the heartbreak of killing another one of my kids. Get dressed,” I told her as I went to the bathroom and closed the door.
I stared at myself in the mirror and squeezed the counter to stay calm. My first mind told me to strap up. Hopefully, there wasn’t enough sperm in her to get her ass pregnant. After I cleaned myself up, I walked out the bedroom to see her dressed in a pair of my jogging pants and a shirt.
“I’m ready,” she said, looking down at the floor.
The drive back to her studio was hard. She sat in the passenger seat, silently crying like I was making the decision for her. She didn’t have to leave. I would’ve stood right by her side as she got her divorce. What I wasn’t about to do was stand in between what she wanted to do. I loved her too much.
