“Ah. Well, then it’s a vow that will be easy enough to break, should you want to.” She drew her hand over his chest, lazily caressing him, running her thumb over his nipple.
His breath quickened. “I won’t.I’ve… made up my mind. A long time ago. Nothing has changed.”
But she had felt the power she held over him. It would not take her long to learn to wield it like the finest sword. She wanted to stay with him, care for him…love him.He would be hers, even if she had to tame him first, gentle the fierce warrior to her touch.The image made her smile.
“I don’t care about your vow, Ceann. I only wantyou. Take me, claim me, make me yours in truth. If it’s children you’re worried about, we can adopt as many as you’d like as our own…”
He drew in a long breath, but then shook his head. “No.I… No.”
She drew her thigh slowly up the length of his leg, and leaned closer to place little kisses just below his ear, while her hand slid lower acrosshis stomach until her fingers grazed the tip of him. He was already hard again.
“Then make love to me, one more time… one last time, if that’s all you’ll give me.”
He groaned as his most primitive instincts fought with his conscious, tearing him apart. Her touch felt so good on his bare skin, soothing him, arousing him. When her hand closed around him, instinct won, and he was again mindless with desire for her. He covered her mouth with his, as hungry for her as if it had been a year, instead of minutes, since he had taken her last. But this time he forced himself to hold back. The least he could do after taking her maidenhead was to show her how a man could use his body to bring pleasure to a woman. In truth, the very thought of pleasuring Ella made him crave her with an even greater intensity than before.
He caressed and teased her with his hands and mouth until she panted and writhed beneath him. Thiswouldbe the last time he ever took her, and he at least wanted to leave her with memories of pleasure, not of pain. He wanted to scream with the intensity of it all, he wanted to take her again and again until the emotions and the desire swirling inside of him finally subsided. He had never dreamed that such as this existed.
Her breath was coming in little gasps now, and he could wait no longer. He took her again, and once more overwhelming pleasure consumed him. She met his passion with her own, wrapping her legs around him, trying to pull him even closer. When he felt her body tighten around him, he let go at last, spilling himself into her with a roar, feeling her come with him. The moment was too much for him to bear. It was too overwhelming, too perfect. He felt for an instant that all was right, that she belonged to him, that their very souls had touched in that one rush of pure bliss. He wanted to cradle her in his arms now, whisper sweet words in her ear, tell her all the dark secrets of his heart. Then his own reality hit him like a fist in the gut. It was all an illusion, this night. And he had taken her innocence, something he had no right to do. He abruptly rolled away from her and began gathering their discarded clothing.
“Get dressed. We need to get back to the camp.” He needed time alone, to think. If he stayed here with her any longer, he might just be lost forever.
Though his stomach clenched at the hurt look on her face that she could not quite hide, he forced himself to look away and put on his clothing. She followed him in silence back to the camp, and he saw her safely to her tent.
“Good night, Ella”, was all he said. He knew she stood and watched him walk away… but this time it was without his heart.
Chapter 13
He had thought that once he had taken her, the burning need would go away. He had thought that it was denying himself her body that made him want her so badly; but he had been wrong.It was worse now. In fact it was excruciating.He now seemed to be preternaturally aware of her every move. And her every move only served to remind him of the way her body had felt against his, of the pure bliss he had felt in her arms, the soothing warmth of her touch.
Lying in his bed back at Tulloch, unable to sleep, Ceann’s mind wandered back to a time when he had thought everything in his life was falling into place. Just before all had gone so wrong. He had sat proud and tall on his horse as he rode for home at the head of the small band of highland warriors, victorious once more in their latest conquest. He felt strong and invincible, and he thought of the future, and how glorious it would be. One day he would be Laird, and all of this he looked upon would be his domain.He would ride home to be greeted by his people, and then by his wife, standing on the steps of the keep, his child in her arms, and another two or three clinging to her skirt. She would smile and he would laugh and sweep her up into a passionate kiss, then lean down to kiss each of his bairns in turn. Beautiful daughters and strong, strapping sons. He would tell her of the battle while she tended his wounds, then he would carry her off to their chamber… He had never been able to quite picture her face, this future wife, but he knew she would be beautiful and charming, and he would consider himself very lucky to have her as his own.
Later, on that long-ago day, after he had washed and rested, he went to speak with his father, Artair, in the study. Laird Tulloch was still a fine figure of a man then. Handsome and well muscled, he looked much younger than his years. He ruled the clan with an iron fist, but also withfairness and honor. Ceann had looked up to him for as long as he could remember. But this day, his father looked weary. His face was drawn as if he hadn’t slept, and his mouth turned down at the corners just a little. “Ceann, son, come in and sit down.”
Ceann took a seat across from his father and waited, troubled by Artair’s dark mood.
He held in his hands a crumbled and wrinkled piece of parchment. He fingered it absently as he spoke. “I… I have things to tell you.Things you need to know, since… you’ll soon be Laird in my stead.”
Ceann stared at him for a moment. “No, not soon. You’ll be Laird for many years yet Father.”
“Aye, son, sooner than you know. But listen.” His expression took on an intensity Ceann had never before seen, and his heart began to beat faster, realizing something significant was about to happen. His life was about to change somehow, forever.
“You have always been everything to me, son, and you have made me proud. You have grown into a strong warrior and a good man.” He paused, as if afraid to go on. “But there is something you must know. I did something, long ago, something I can never regret, because it brought you to me. But it has made things… complicated.” He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words.“I went to the Auld Ones, Ceann, to make a bargain, a bargain for a child, for you. They agreed, but as they always do, the Auld Ones demanded a payment, which…”
Ceann stood abruptly, toppling the chair, fear and anger suddenly filling him. A dull roar began in his ears.“What payment, Father? What was the payment?”
“That you would be the last of the MacKenzie line, that you would never father a child…”
Ceann heard no more after that. “No!” he roared in sudden rage and hurt, as his dreams seemed to shatter like glass before his eyes. Then he turned and ran from the room, even as his father called after him to come back, to hear the rest! He did not.
He was gone for several days, maybe more. Even as a boy, when things became too much for him, he simply left for a time, to be alone, to think, to heal. Now he was a man; a man who had just been told hewould live his life alone, with no wife, no family. No sons to raise into honorable men, no daughters to coddle and spoil. No wife… to share the secrets of his soul with, and the joy of raising their bairns. He mourned his loss deeply and utterly.
When at last he returned to Tulloch, he learned that his father had been killed in an attack by the Campbells. To his eternal shame, he had not been home to defend him.Now he was Laird. He was Laird, and his father was gone forever. There was nothing to be done about it. He would be the last of his line.
***
Ella was frustrated and heartbroken that Ceann had withdrawn from her again, even after what they had shared.Somehow she had thought that when he made love to her at last, he would feel the same as she did: that they belonged together. Days had gone by already since they returned from the gathering. The women were still all busily trading gossip and goods, the men bragging over their prowess, both at the games and with the women. And she… she was reliving the most perfect moment of her life, which had been quickly followed by the most heartrending. He hadn’t even kissed her good night.For such a short time, Ceann had been hers, body and soul, and then he had slipped out of her grasp again.She down sat for a moment on a little bench in the garden, trying to regain her strength of heart. What had happened at the gathering between them, it had meant something to her. It had meanteverythingto her.What did I expect, that he would fall madly in love with me?That we would live happily ever after? No, he hadn’t so much as spoken a word to her since they had arrived back at Tulloch. And she was heartsick over him, though her pride would not let her show it.
Elizabeth noticed, though. Ella had often thought Elizabeth was wise beyond her years, or perhaps she had a touch of the Sight.She spied Ella on the bench, apparently looking despondent, because she came to sit beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
